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19 September 2014

The Scots Are All U.K.

As most people know, the Scottish people voted against independence. The United Kingdom gets to remain complete. I had mixed feelings about this whole vote and not for reasons you would guess. I am not Scottish, nor am I from any other part of the U.K. So why would I be interested in this topic? Allow me to explain.

For starters, I was curious about what would happen with the flag. The iconic Union Jack has been around for over 200 years. That is a powerful symbol and it would be a shame to see it go. Especially if they kept using the same flag without the blue, which just looks terrible. Fortunately the vote did not go through and the world did not have to change all of their British flags. I suppose flag makers were getting a bit excited.

And if Scotland had left the United Kingdom and the flag had to change, would the superhero named Union Jack have to change his costume? That is such a great costume, it would be a shame to have to mess with it. Can you imagine changing Captain America's suit? It would be really weird if Cap all of a sudden lost one of the colors...


This whole flag dilemma is the main reason that Puerto Rico has never become a state...

The other thing that had me interested in this vote was to see how the world would change. George Carlin once said that he is a fan of entropy and that is definitely something I can agree with.



Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that I want to watch everything collapse and burn, but I did get a little excited about the prospect of the United Kingdom splitting apart. I mean, if Scotland left, would Wales have followed suit? I do not know much about Welsh political movements, nor do I know anything of their economy, but you have to figure that in a few years the Welsh would be like "hey, those dirty, sheep-shaggin' Scots have their own country, why don't we?" Only none of us would have been able to understand it.

If they all split apart, what would happen on the other island? You know, with Northern Ireland. Would Ireland just consume them? I suppose they could stay as their own nation. I can see no harm in that, right?

Think about it for a second, the main powers of the world have not really changed that much in the last hundred or so years (yes, I realize that in some cases these countries have completely changed governments and whatnot, but shut up, this is my blog, my rules). The British, the French, the Russians, and the United States have been the predominant forces (I know, we arrived a bit late to the party, but I think our sheer dominance over the past fifty years makes up for the 1700s).

I realize that is a very Eurocentric attitude. I mean, the Chinese have been a dominant culture for like 20,000 years (+/- a few thousand). But for the point of this silly post, I am trying to say that those European (well Russia does kind of take up most of Asia, so whatever) nations have been in the thick of things for awhile now. Hell, look at Germany. It did not become a nation until 1871.

Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, Scotland. It would have been interesting to see history happen, the final nail in the coffin of the British Empire. As a kid I was able to witness the collapse of the USSR, which resulted in the world getting Russia back. I know, it was kind of scary for those years without Russia. I want to see something like that happen again. I want to be able to say to my kids "well back in the olden days, England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Island were joined together, much like Voltron, to form a powerful country. Now they are just a bunch of small little micro-countries pretending to be world powers."

Come to think of it, maybe that is what the world needs. Instead of these large nations full of people who hate each other. What if we just allowed them all to split apart and become tiny nations? Oh shit, the Onion already made that joke? Damn it!

Anyways, before I put everyone, myself included to sleep, what I am trying to say is: Yay for the U.K.!!!!






Please realize that the majority of this was meant to be funny and not entirely historically accurate. I am also not trying to offend anyone. Minus the Welsh. Feel free to be offended you Welsh bastards.

18 September 2014

Salad Tosser

This is the application I received the other day. Well obviously it is just a section of it, I did not want to put the entire application on here. Also, for those of you not smart enough to figure out, I blacked out the stuff that could identify people.

Someone either needs to tell this girl what salad tosser means or maybe someone should check out what sort of things are happening at that restaurant.

2014 NFL Pick 'Em Week 3 and Fantasy Football Week 2

HOLY SHIT! This was not a good week for anyone. Pat was the week's winner by going 8-8. I was not so good this week. I only got four right. I am now tied for first at 13-19 with Pat, Gideon, and Dan. I am not even going to mention Sean, our reigning champion, and his awesome week...(2-14).

Right now I am certainly feeling confused about some teams. I feel like I could switch 92% of these picks. I guess this is what happens when everyone wishes for parity.

Well my team is not that good, but at least they won. I definitely need some help in the wide receiver department. I made a trade offer to my brother, which it would probably tilt more in his favor, but I am in dire need of another receiver.

I did just pick up Allen Robinson (yes, I dropped him two weeks ago) and Silas Redd. I know, you are thinking I am just taking Penn State guys (should I even consider Redd a PSU guy? Nah), but Robinson had some catches and I have a feeling he could have a big week at some point (and honestly, could he get me less points than Nicks?). Redd is now the number two back in Washington with Helu hurt, so hey, whoever needs a back, come to me!

After this victory, I am now 1-1 and in seventh place. I take on Gideon this week, who is in first place. My brother is in 11th place, but his team has scored more points than mine, so he is just getting unlucky draws each week.

17 September 2014

Under the Dome: Episode 212

I know that sometimes I am a little unfair with this show. Lindsey enjoys it (although she generally falls asleep through some of it, so maybe that is the key). Naturally there were parts that I actually liked, so instead of just mentioning all of the stuff I hated, allow me to discuss that first.

The four hands, past and present, must lay hands on Melanie in order to make her better. Rebecca realizes that the instead of needing Angie, maybe Melanie is the bridge between past and present because of something about quantum mechanics. Melanie gets better, but then a giant pit forms and she falls into it. Junior wants to pursue, but Barbie warns against it since the last time someone jumped into an endless pit, they ended up dead (Phil).

See? That kind of stuff is cool. Where did Melanie go? Could this be a way out for the people of Chester's Mills? Does this give us a little insight into what controls the Dome?

Unfortunately, there were bad parts of the episode. I cannot ignore them.

For instance, the conversation between Barbie and his dad at the Dome. They kept talking to each other, yet they cannot hear what the other is saying, but for some reason they would just answer. Then, they brought along people to write this stuff on paper, which was absolutely idiotic, since the translators just wrote whatever they felt like.

Another thing that I hate about this show is the treatment of Big Jim. He needs to be the villain. Yet the show flounders between making him a bad guy and wanting us to like him. Screw that, he should have been likeable at first, but as the show continues we should see the depths of his evil. I recently read somewhere that in the book he is a deplorable person and his son is even worse, a borderline serial killer.

Big Jim kills Lyle after he stabs Pauline. This is one of those things where we can see Jim as the good guy, no matter how much snarling he does while stabbing Lyle. Instead, what if he murders Lyle earlier. Just stabs him out of jealousy. That would have been more interesting.

Next week is the season finale. I am hoping we learn more about the Dome, but something tells me that it will be like ten seasons before we start getting some answers.

16 September 2014

Amazon Commercial



I absolutely hate this commercial. Not that they are trying to be funny by having little kids sound like hipster dickwads, but instead I get annoyed when the girl takes a drink and says "he's sitting on a boatload of cash after selling a start-up." She makes this annoying face. It basically sends me into a rage. I just hope this phone fails.

15 September 2014

2014 Fantasy Baseball Week Twenty-Three

Holy crap that was a scary week! I probably checked my phone 2,379 times on Sunday and each time it would flip-flop between Pat and I. Hell, the only game left that night was Baltimore and the Yankees, but Pat had Nelson Cruz. All it would have taken was for Cruz to launch a homer and it would have been 6-6 (and then it would have come down to a tie-breaker).

At the beginning of the week, I dropped Javier Baez and picked up Jordy Mercer. That move definitely paid off as Mercer scored three runs, knocked in four and had a nice .364/.440 line. My other good player was James Loney (2/1/2/0/.368/.400). Those were my best hitters with Puig and Altuve having decent weeks as well.

I am not going to single any of my pitchers out because they were all pretty fantastic. In fact, check it out:
The only negative is that guys I pick up for holds keep getting moved into the closer role. I am looking at you Drew Storen. Hell, even Pat Neshek keeps picking up saves. That is not what I need you to do! Minus Henderson Alvarez, all of my starters recorded a win. That is impressive.

This week I take on the number one seed, Gideon, who beat Imler pretty easily 9-3. Ryan beat up on Lindsey (what a jerk) 10-2 and now takes on Dustin, who crushed Mark 11-1. Good luck to everyone this week!

13 September 2014

The State College Chipotle/Sweatshop

I am sure most of you saw this the other day. I saw it on Twitter when the Collegian posted the picture and then I saw other people posting the article on Facebook after it went on HuffPo.

And I know what many of you are thinking:  "oh those poor, oppressed workers." And you probably think that is what this post will be about...obviously you are wrong. Sorry to disappoint.

Borderline sweatshop conditions? Are these people out of their freakin' minds? Compare working at Chipotle with those poor folks stuck putting together your iPhone.

I love that the article says they had to work 10-12 hour days without getting a break. OH MY GOD! THOSE MONSTERS! Working ten hours without a break? Oh the humanity, the pain, the suffering. Oh wait, that is what I do daily, huh, I'll be damned.
Basically the same as working at Chipotle

If you work in the restaurant industry, you have to understand that you may not get a break. It all depends on the flow of business. There are many times where I give people the option to go on break while it is slow and they say "I don't want to go on break yet." Then, when we are getting crushed, full dining room, lobby full of people, the kitchen struggling with 100 checks hanging out of the printer, that person says "uhh, think I could take my break now?" My answer is always the same "hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha, no, run this food to table seven!" Not sure why table seven's food is up at that moment.

Before you say "but Josh, it is the law to give your employees a break, what kind of horrible boss are you?" It is not a law. From the Department of Labor:
The Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) does not require breaks or meal periods be given to workers. Some states may have requirements for breaks or meal periods. If you work in a state which does not require breaks or meal periods, these benefits are a matter of agreement between the employer and the employee (or the employee's representative).
Minors are required to take a break, but not adults. Sorry, that is just the way it is. If you want there to be a law about this, then you should probably contact your politician and have them push to change the law. 

Another thing the article mentions is how they are understaffed and that is why the employees are working "long" shifts. I think this should be a lesson to any restaurants thinking about opening a location in State College. If you drive around town there are signs at just about every restaurant saying they are hiring. The town just does not have the work force to sustain that many restaurants. I think these places come there thinking that college kids will work there. Unfortunately, the days of kids paying for college by working as a waiter are starting to come to an end. Yes, there are many who still have to, but the numbers are dwindling. At least that is my observation.

This whole thing sounds like a disgruntled manager who did not like his/her job and decided to rile up his employees. They wanted this to go viral. This could have been avoided by doing research into a company before you take a job. Especially if you are going into restaurant management. Do not just accept what they tell you at the interview, look up reviews of the job online. They are usually negatively biased, but there is some truth in them. Hell, stop by one of the places and speak to a manager there, try to get their honest opinion.

Remember when I was trying to make a tough decision? Well the place I was looking at allowed me to go in and talk to the managers, they did not tell me straight out that they work tons of hours, but they implied it.  Do not be upset once you start the job and realize that some of the things they told you were a bit bullshit (every company does this). For example, most places will tell you that you get one weekend off a month and then one month you get two weekends.

That sounds great, right? Well it is technically true, but since many companies do not have a calendar schedule, they use a 28 day period. So you get one weekend each period. What will happen is that your weekend off in period five will be in the beginning of May and then your weekend off in period six will be two weeks later at the end of May. See, two weekends off in a month. It is not really the same thing.

Sorry, starting to drift off topic there. Back to the tragedy at Chipotle. This whole thing reeks of young people wanting some attention. People my age (or older) love to bitch about the younger generations being lazy and not knowing what it means to do hard work. Then something like this happens and those young people wonder where this opinion comes from. Suck it up, it's called a job. It is not meant to be easy. Red Forman explains it best:

11 September 2014

Under the Dome: Episode 211

This was the best episode ever! Just kidding. It was pretty damn terrible. In fact, I barely remember what happened and I watched it like five minutes ago. More stupid shit happening in Chester's Mills, like the temperature is dropping and yet no one owns a winter jacket. Or the fact that everyone forgets all the bad stuff happened in the last episode.

One of the dumbest things was the ambulance accident. It is so cold that black ice is forming on the road, although it does not seem to be raining or anything. I feel like you have to have some moisture in the air and then on the ground in order to have some black ice. Julia gets impaled by a piece of metal. They decide the best way to save her is to let her go into hypothermia so that her heart stops and the blood does not pump. Then, Barbie can resuscitate her. Not a terrible plan. Obviously it works.

Remember that time when Big Jim held a bunch of teens at gunpoint and stole a weird Dome-powering Egg? Then he threw that Egg down the only known way out of said Dome? Oh, that happened last week? Well people in Chester's Mills have short memories. All it took for Big Jim to be the hero was to show up with a can of gas. And for his wife to remember him blocking a field goal.

HackerBoy is really evil. Or maybe not, he works for Barbie's dad and he is in communication with him. We see him give the army guys intel, but then convinces Joe and ForeheadGirl that he is still on their team. Yeah, that is believable. Probably will turn out to be Melanie's younger brother (well half), which means he would not be related to Barbie. That is why he wanted inside the Dome. He did some concerned about Melanie's health.

 For some reason the Dome is rotating, which is causing the weather change, it is pushing the cold air down or something. And by the end of the episode, the Dome is shrinking. I hope that it crushes the entire town.