Remember when I went to Jordan and Egypt? Did I ever mention how horny I was when I got back? I went over six weeks without any type of release. Well I did have sex with the one girl, but other than that, it was like three weeks without masturbating. Needless to say, I was on the verge of exploding.
After being back a few days, I decided to go out after playing some softball with James and Jason. We went up to the Arena (was it called The Last Cowboy still?) and shot pool. I decided to send this girl we worked with, Liz, a text message asking what she was doing.
For those of you that don't know about Liz, let me explain. She was a complete whore. I had sex with her a bunch of times and it was not great, but it was always good if drunk or whatever.
She says that she is over at Gideon's apartment, helping him clean. I then let her know that if she wants to take a break, I could give her a little reward (considering that I am planning on moving into that apartment with Gideon). She says okay, and we meet up at this usual spot. At this point, I did not have my own place in State College yet, I had lived at my mom's for about a semester before going to Jordan.
The nice thing about this girl was, she had no delusions about what this relationship was, there was no talking, no how are you, just lets have sex and lets make it quick. So, we start going at it and after about 45 seconds, I am ready to explode, and I think she can tell. So, she gets down and starts giving me a little mouth action.
I am not some kind of porn star, and when I get off, it does not fly across the room or anything cool like that. However, this time, I looked like some kind circus freak. I shoot, and it must of taken her by surprise because she pulls it out of her mouth, unfortunately for her, I am not done. I shoot another round, and she moves out of the way! It lands like five feet away.
So, I put my pants back on, hop in my car (we were having sex outside at a park by the way) and send James a text message asking him if they are still at the bar. They are, so I go over and go back to pool and beer. Apparently I was gone for like fifteen minutes...
She must have gazelle-like speed to avoid that second shot...
ReplyDeleteAnd I remember that story. Somehow I don't remember it being told in such detail...but yes, Liz was definitely a ho.
I figured no one would want to hear about my quick draw abilities. Now I could care less.
ReplyDeleteYou are the Roland of sexual encounters.
ReplyDeletefyi Check out this description for one of the 4 playable characters in the new PS3 game Borderlands, a post-apocalyptic shooter/rpg:
Roland - Soldier
Roland is a former soldier of the Crimson Lance, an elite private military group working for the Atlas Corporation. Roland's Leadership, Support and Medical abilities include generating new ammo for both himself and those in his party, increasing experience gained by the party and increasing health regeneration. Roland can gain the ability to shoot 'healing' bullets, which will damage his enemies, but heal his allies. He is also capable of deploying a turret with a shield barrier which can attack enemies or heal allies.
It's not an EXACT copy of Dark Tower Roland, but guns, soldier, shooting, crimson, atlas (I think that was the name of the evil corp. in Dark Tower, but I might be making that up). Seems like they made have stolen some of that...Oh, and how the hell could a bullet heal someone?
Hahaha
ReplyDeleteThat does sound like an homage to Roland. The evil corporation was North Central Positronics, which Sombra Corporation was a subsidiary...
on the show Inuyasha, there is a sword (i think the brother sword to the tetsaga (no clue on spelling) that did not harm, instead it would heal...)
Weird. There have been a few likewise weapons in Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest.
ReplyDeleteAnd my bad on horribly botching the names of the corporations lol