Mutant Chronicles

I just finished watching Mutant Chronicles, which has not come out yet. I had the privilege of watching it before it comes out. Yes, I am that special. Not really, On Demand has it before it hits theaters (is it really going to be in theaters?).

Well the movie was pretty bad. Fortunately it was bad enough that I had a good time laughing at it. The movie is set in the future (2707), and yet the army looks like they are dressed for WWII. Also, the ship they use to fly to wherever they are going runs on coal. Seriously, it runs on coal. How the hell does a spaceship run on coal???


Thomas Jane delivers some pretty crappy lines, but none more so than this one: "I get paid to fuck shit up." In fact, he says this line twice. The only thing that was okay about this movie was Devon Aoki . She is kinda hot, right?

Girlfriend of the Week

This week's GOTW is the very sexy Serinda Swan, who apparently is a professional poker player. I wish I played poker with girls that looked like this. Anyways, I discovered her tonight because she was on Smallville as Zatanna, who was my GOTW a few weeks ago! Amazing.

Lost: Episode 510

This episode had an awesome beginning and then an awesome ending. The middle was good, but no where near the level as the ending.

The Beginning
The episode starts out with a young Sayid watching his brother kill a chicken. Anytime a chicken is murdered, I am happy. We then return to the present (1977) where a young Ben brings Sayid a sandwich, and asks him if Richard sent him and that he wants to join the hostiles.

Flashbacks
During the flashbacks, we see how Ben told Sayid that everyone was now dead and Sayid could go back to living his life. The reason that Sayid is back in the US after telling Locke no is that Ben came to him in the jungle and said there was someone about to kill Hurley. Ben then tells Sayid that he is a killer.

Later, Sayid is in a hotel bar and a hot woman sits beside him. She is Ilana (who is stuck on the island in the real present), and she goes back to Sayid's room where they start making out. She then kicks him and says that she is a bounty hunter. She was hired by the family of the man he killed on the golf course. She is taking him back to Guam. When he sees some of the other group on the flight, he asks her if they can take another flight...

The End
Sayid escapes the compound along with young Ben. After he knocks out Jin, he tells Little Ben that he now knows his purpose on the island. He then shoots Tiny Tot Ben in the chest, apparently killing him! Yeah, it was awesome.

That makes me wonder if that is the reason current Ben is lying in his cot when Locke sees him? Maybe he is in some kind of coma...or does the island heal Child Ben, which then causes him to become the new hostile leader? Sayid may have started him down his path, which would explain how Ben knew that Sayid is a killer at heart...

24: 10:00 p.m.-11:00 p.m.

Well another great start to a season and another dramatic drop after awhile. What happened? We started off so strong. Now, we are back to super-super conspiracies, someone close to the president trying to be a political bully (or a terrorist, if her daughter ends up being involved somehow with Starkwood, it would definitely not surprise me at this point), Jack going out of his way to do something ridiculous, and another member of the president's staff resigning.

As I have said before, how often does someone on the presidents staff resign? There are two today (somehow the Chief of Staff will end up not resigning). This happens at least two or three times a season.

Her daughter has become a silly character. She almost dies, and not two hours later is trying to push people under a bus by selling them out to the media. Hopefully Jack shoots her just out of principal.

So, Starkwood wants to end terrorist by supplying the country with it's own personal army to hunt terrorists. They mean to achieve this by launching a terrorist attack on the country? Seems like a pretty good plan.

The entire idea of Jack and Tony not calling Larry at the FBI about the WMDs is kind of stupid. The reason: they will not be believed. If that is the case, why not call Larry and say, I surrender, but you better send a team down here right away. I have a bunch of guns and explosives and I am SUPER CRAZY!!! There is a city wide manhunt for Jack at the moment. They would probably send a small army to catch him.

Instead he just wants to steal the truck and deliver it to Larry himself. Great plan Jack. The end was pretty cool however, with Jack being briefly exposed to whatever weapon was in the truck (I say briefly in a very sarcastic manner, if the weapon is so deadly how come people were not dying on the streets while he was driving and letting it blow through Washington? Maybe it is the kind of poison that only affects you mildly, it gives you a cold or something) and needing a little medical attention. Obviously he will be fine.

Another nice part was Jack having that touch of humanity, saving the guard's life. That guy will probably somehow tell Agent Walker, which will cause her to want to bang Jack even more...

Lost: Episode 509

Imagine if the show was still being written with no end date in sight. If BKV had not come on board and helped get the writers and the show back on track. I believe that the third season (which I liked regardless of what most people say, but can understand people's frustration), shows what happens when the network starts to have input on the creative end. Do I know this for a fact? Absolutely not, but I would bet that once the show was popular, ABC told the writers to drag the story out. If this were still the policy, the Oceanic Six would have taken until the end of the season to return. Instead they are back now (unfortunately they are in 1977 with Sawyer and the gang) and we get to see where everyone goes from there.

Some interesting things we get to see back in 1977. Jack gets a nice job, as a janitor (Workman, didn't the group find a jumpsuit with that on it a few seasons ago?) Amy names her child Ethan. He will someday grow up and kidnap Claire. Circle of life...Also, a very young Ben meets Sayid. I wonder if Ben remembered that the first time they met?

At the end of the episode, Sun and Frank go to the Dharma barracks and meet Christian Shepherd. He shows them the photo of the group back in 1977. I have some thoughts about Christian. Did Hawking tell Jack that Locke would have to replace his father on board the plane in order for them to return? I think she did. Locke is alive and well now. Everyone keeps seeing Christian. Did he return from the dead during the original crash? Or is he some kind of ghost? He told Locke that he could not help him up, at first I believed this to be because he is not real, but now I am having doubts. Or has the islands personality manifested itself as Christian? I have thrown the idea out there before that the island is somehow "alive" or that it at least has some kind of consciousness. We have heard Locke, Ben, and Richard all say things like this before.

Girlfriend of the Week

As most of you know, I am not a big video game guy. However, that does not stop me from watching G4's Attack of the Show (yeah, I know it's not just about video games, but I tend to just avoid G4 unless Lost reruns are on)...The reason to watch AotS is to see this week's GOTW: Olivia Munn. She is geeky, funny, and very sexy. I would do very bad things to her.

24: 9:00 p.m.-10 p.m.

This episode did nothing for me. Except for the fight scene at the end, it was a pretty dull episode. Jack goes to the Senator, who knows about Starkwood, they piece together what must be happening. The Senator is killed, Jack is blamed. The end.

Now, we get to see Jack and Tony team up and take on some bad guys. Sometimes I think this show would be better off being 12 episodes. Obviously it would not be 24 then, but it seems like they always start off so strong. Then they have to throw in more stuff to fill out the rest of the season. After Jack stops Starkwood, he will then have to stop an army of mutant gypsies from attacking the Pentagon...

Kings

Tonight was the season premiere of the new NBC show Kings. I had not heard anything about it until a few days ago. I saw the preview and figured, "eh, why not?" I liked Ian McShane in Deadwood, so it could not be all that bad. None of the new shows out this season really did anything for me, could this be another crapfest? The show was pretty good. I will continue watching.

The premise is that a modern day monarchy exists. They seem to be a major world power and none of the other places they named sounded real. There is a definite religious element to the show. The main character's name is David Shepherd (David from the Bible), who stood up to Goliath (a type of tank from a nearby kingdom) and saved the King's son.

The story is a retelling of how David became King, and how Saul (Silas on the show) lost his power. As most of you know, I studied the Old Testament in college, so this show definitely interests me.

Did anyone else watch it?

MARCH MADNESS!

It is that time of year folks. College basketball's glory time. March Madness baby! Offord has set up a bracket over at Yahoo. We have decided that it is $10 to play. Obviously there is a difficulty in paying us directly, so we have come up with a few solutions. Either you can send us the money (or hand it to us directly if you are close enough), if you do not give us the money, you can still play, but you will not be eligible to win any of the money. Offord, Kern, and myself will be collectors.

Here is the information for anyone interested. We would love to have as many people play as possible...

Group ID#: 33625
Password: offord

Girlfriend of the Week

Holy crap it's Friday! I seriously thought it was Thursday for some reason. Anyways, this week's GOTW goes out to the super-sexy Megan Fox. I could seriously post 10,000 pictures of her, and it would never be enough. Instead I will just use this fake poster of her as Wonder Woman...

Watchmen Review

I have started writing this review three different times since seeing the film on Monday. I do not want to sound like every other comic book geek out there and start railing away about the differences in the comic and the movie. I expected this to happen. I will probably have a spoiler or two in here somewhere.

People kept trying to say that Snyder would be able to do with Watchmen what he did with 300. I am sorry, but that could not happen. 300 is like 50 pages long. Watchmen is like 2000000 pages long.

As I usually say before reviewing a comic book movie, I am not the type of person who goes in expecting it to be exactly like the comic. I hope that they can get the essence of the character and story right, and whatever needs to be changed, should benefit the story.

With that being said, the next question should be: what did I think of the movie? I really enjoyed it. I cannot wait to watch it a few more times. However, did it blow my mind? No. Did I leave the theater and think to myself: "wow, that was the greatest movie of all time." No.

Major complaints I had about the movie really falls into the acting category. I think Billy Crudup is an awesome actor, but he did not pull Dr. Manhattan off. This being is all powerful, his voice needs to command a little more power behind it.

Matthew Goode, who was decent in other movies I have seen, was absolutely terrible as Ozymandias. He seemed too detached, whereas you would expect a guy who is about to kill millions of people to be a bit more passionate about his project. Also, the movie itself did a bad job of selling to us that Ozy was a really good guy. In the comic, when you learn he is the bad guy, it is a pretty big reveal. In the movie, it seemed pretty obvious.

On a positive note, Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) was amazing. He carried every scene, I only wish they could have done more interviews with the shrink. That was always one of my favorite things in the book, how the shrink starts to see the way Rorschach sees. Oh well.

Another thing that bothered me was the fact that the fight scenes were identical to 300. The slow motion thing is really cool, but Snyder is becoming a one trick pony.

The opening scene though, with the Comedian getting beat, then tossed out a window, may have been the best opening scene ever. This was one of those things about the comic that I never understood how they would make into the movie. Flashbacks, done in red, pretty much every other panel. Snyder reinvented that perfectly.

There were plenty of little things that were directly from the comic, which was definitely cool. I can understand why people who did not read the book, were a little lost though. Maybe this will cause people to rush out and buy the book...

Here is a little test though, if you want to watch a comic book person struggle. Ask them to tell you what Watchmen is about. I bet they give you a whole bunch of buzzwords, like "deconstruction, realistic approach, political commentary..." And yes, all those words (and plenty of others) describe the book. But, ask them to just outline the story for you. Go ahead, those of you who have read it, try it. Now, ask yourself, does that sound like a very good story? The reason that Watchmen is considered one of the greatest comics of all time, is the amazing job that Moore and Gibbons did...obviously.

Anyways, let me know what you thought about it.
Comic Book Movie Grade: A-

24: 8:00 p.m.-9:00 p.m.

Another excellent episode. All sorts of fun stuff happened. Where do I begin?

-Well Bill took the ultimate sacrifice by diving into the safe room and dying. I always liked Bill, even though sometimes he was a bit of a moron. He would watch Jack do all sorts of crazy shit that saved the country, but then he would make a stand and say "Jack, I cannot let you do that!" Why?

-Agent Walker gets fired. Sorta.

-Slater from Dazed and Confused is Jon Voigts assistant. Very cool.

-One of the things I love about this show is that when something bad happens to Jack (such as the guy using a nerve agent then killing Burnett and framing Jack), instead of doing the obvious thing: such as wait for Larry and try to explain everything. He just bolts, making himself look guilty, then calls Larry to explain. For Jack, the simple solution is never the best.

-This means we get Jack on his own doing badass things. He will bring another terrorist group to it's knees.

-Did anyone noticed that one of the sites for attack was Oil City, PA? Unfortunately, it was located way south of Pittsburgh, almost near Washington, PA. Did I see that right?

Morbid

I try not to be a morbid person, but sometimes I just cannot help it. That being said, the one form of death that truly scares is dying in the shower. I started thinking about it the other day when I almost slipped in my shower. I then began to wonder how long it would be before anyone noticed.

I imagine Kacie would be the first person to become truly worried, since we talk every day. Sometimes we do not actually talk, but at least we call each other. She would definitely think something was weird if she kept calling and I did not respond. I imagine after a day or so she would probably call my mom and ask if she heard from me. That would prompt someone to make the trip down here to find out what was wrong.

If I missed work, I am sure my boss would keep calling. If I did not show up the next day, he would probably call the corporate office and get my emergency contact, my mom, and give her a call. Which, would prompt her to find out where I was.

I wonder if my neighbors would think the shower running for 24 hours was weird? Probably not. I really have no one who stops over for a visit very often, nor do any of my friends or family back home have contact information for the people I know here. Think about that for a second. If I die in my shower, I could be in here for a few days before I am found. Most likely getting fired in the process. I would be one of the few people fired for being dead.

Do not worry, this is not me being sad or depressed, just thinking out loud...

Heroes: "Exposed"

You thought I forgot to watch it? Do not be silly, I have written about every single episode of this show, and I do not plan to stop.

-I completely forgot about Micah. He must be Rebel. I wonder if this will make his character any more interesting? Probably not.

-How does Parkman blowing up prove that the government needs to hunt down people? Seems like a stretch to me.

-So Angela and Mr.B are working some angle here, and now Nathan is in with them. Does it really matter?

-Sylar's dad has the telekinesis power that Sylar stole from his first victim? And his father uses that power to kill people the same way that Sylar does? Why? Granted, at least this storyline is interesting.

-Claire kissed Aqualad. Then the Puppet Master guy shows up and tells her that Rebel said she could save him. Why? Let him get captured. Rebel did not seem to care when the company was holding the guy in the dungeons, what difference does it make now...

-This is the bitch that is chasing Claire. Taylor Cole (her name is Rachel on the show, and apparently she has a power...)

-Anything else interesting happen?

2009 MLB Predictions

At last, the moment you all have been waiting for: my baseball predictions! I have put serious thought into these (six minutes) and think you should definitely bet money on them (if you want your knee caps broken by a bookie)...anyways, here we go.

NL East
Phillies
Mets
Marlins
Braves
Nationals

Every year I take the Mets to win the division, and every year they choke at the end. So, this year I will take the Phillies and hope that I am wrong...

NL Central
Cubs
Cardinals
Brewers
Astros
Reds
Pirates

Well, this division was easy to predict who would be in first and who would be in last. The other teams have way too many variables. Oddly enough, all of them are starting pitching...

NL West
Dodgers
Diamondbacks
Rockies
Giants
Padres

Yes, the D-Backs have an awesome rotation, but no offense. I have to give the edge to the Dodgers. And apparently, Manny is god or something.

NL Wildcard: Mets
NLDS: Mets over Cubs, Dodgers over Phillies
NLCS: Mets over Dodgers
NL MVP: David Wright
NL Cy Young: Cole Hamels
NL Rookie of the Year: Cameron Maybin
Pirates Record: 71-91

AL East
Yankees
Red Sox
Rays
Blue Jays
Orioles

I typed and retyped this division three different times. This could be a very close division all season. Very exciting...

AL Central
Indians
Twins
White Sox
Tigers
Royals

Remember last year when we were all talking about how the Tigers had the greatest offense we had ever seen? How they were going to be the World Series winners and all that? That was a bad call. I believe the Royals could be a team to surprise people. No, not like the Rays did last year, but I mean surprise people by not finishing last in the division...

AL West
Angels
Rangers
Mariners
A's

I hate to bet against the A's, I think the last time I did that they won the west, unfortunately I do not trust any team that relies on a pitcher who has 5 consonants in a row in his last name. I am almost tempted to believe Ryan and his Mariners love. If the rotation can stay healthy and perform anywhere close to expectations, I could see some wins coming...

AL Wildcard: Red Sox
ALDS: Angels over Indians, Yankees over Red Sox
ALCS: Angels over Yankees
World Series: Mets over Angels
AL MVP: Josh Hamilton
AL Cy Young: C.C. Sabathia
AL Rookie of the Year: Matt Wieters (if get does get called up, also because everyone else has already handed the award to David Price)
Number of Wins the Third Place Team in AL East Will Have: 94 (2 more than the Indians)

I know that many of you will not participate (those of you that have put up your picks over at the Pancake are excused), but it is fun to look back during the season and see if any of us were even remotely close.

Girlfriend of the Week

Well Watchmen opened tonight. I could not make it to the midnight showing. I am sad, but do not fear people. The GOTW goes to Malin Akerman, the sexy girl who plays Silk Spectre.

Lost: Episode 508

This is the episode where we learn what happened to the folks still on the island. Locke is able to stop the flashes. Unfortunately they are stuck in the 70s. Sawyer saves a girl from being shot, which turns out she is a member of the Dharma Initiative. She was also Michelle on 24, but that is beside the point.

The group is taken to the Dharma compound, where Horace asks Sawyer who he is. Sawyer lies and says he is a salvage boat captain that got in a storm. They washed ashore on the island. He says his name is Jim LaFleur. Horace says they will leave on the submarine the next morning. This does not sit well with Sawyer.

Later, Richard shows up saying that Dharma violated the treaty. Sawyer talks to him and explains about the nuclear bomb and Locke. Richard believes him and agrees not to disrupt the truce.

The show jumped back in forth between 1974 (the year they arrived) and 3 years later. By the third year, Sawyer and the rest of the gang are working for Dharma. "LaFleur" is the head of security, Jin is driving around looking for the returnees. Juliet works as a mechanic. This is also where Danielle must have met Charlotte, and where we saw him helping to build the energy thing...

In the 1977 time, Amy (the girl Sawyer saved) goes into labor. They were supposed to take her to the main land to deliver, but she is too early. Sawyer makes Juliet deliver the baby, which will obviously raise some eyebrows. At the end of the episode, we see Sawyer and Juliet living together and that they love each other. Sawyer tells Horace that three years is enough time to get over someone...

Then, he receives the phone call from Jin. Sawyer leaves and tells Juliet that it is nothing. He then goes out to a remote point and meets with Hurley, Jack, Jin, and Kate. Obviously he is not over her.

Poor Juliet. She gets screwed over by Kate all the time. Anyone have ideas on the statue?

500

Who would have thought it could last this long? 500 posts? Well technically 499, this would be 500. So as I type this there are still only 499...although, I had to delete a few posts, so that means this is really 502. Whatever, this says 500th post, it shall be the 500th post.

I ask this question a lot, but who all is reading this out there? There are a few people I know of because they comment (and that was really the whole idea behind this, I liked the features better than live journal, and figured the people who enjoyed that would enjoy this). I know that there are people who read, but never comment, which is okay I guess. Anyone else out there?

Any suggestions for the next 500 posts? Aside from more hot pictures of girls...

24: 6:00 p.m.-8:00 p.m.

I do not know how I feel right now. The episodes were cool, but I feel like I know exactly what is coming...

Juma will escape the White House with the President. Jack will naturally volunteer to follow, which Senator Meyer will be against, but everyone else will realize he is the only man for the job. Jack will rescue the President (probably in two or three episodes), they will realize there must be someone else involved. He will then go after Jon Voight. Or does that set up a villain for next season? What is the big, mysterious shipment he is receiving?

The bad feeling I am getting is that they will set us up with some surprise twist. And it will suck. Like, Jack's daughter will turn out to be in league with Juma...that will make me angry.

Anyways, do not get me wrong. I was pumped and excited about the episodes, but I can see it going down a bad path right now. Please let me be wrong...