Perfect Job

Today while driving home from Pittsburgh on I-80, I realized what the perfect job would be: Rest Stop Attendant.

I know you are probably thinking, "Josh, that would be a terrible job." But, let me explain why it would be perfect. You get to sit around all day, and your only duty is to clean and restock two bathrooms. Maybe make sure the trash cans are empty. Now, this probably sounds horrible, but this is something I do on occasion as a restaurant manager.

I am sure they pay well since it is PennDOT. I bet they start out around $12/hour (any attendants out there want to confirm this), plus they have excellent state benefits. Imagine, sitting around reading a book, playing on a laptop, doing a little cleaning, going home, and then making decent money. The other great thing about state jobs, you get raises all the time.

People always tell kids to go to college, but you know what, get a cushy state job like that and just sit around collect my hard earned tax dollars...

Lost: Episode 514

I know plenty of people wonder why they still watch this show, and I personally think those folks are kind of foolish. Tonight's episode was absolutely awesome. It starts out with everyone's favorite Scottish badass and then switches gears to the most enigmatic character: Daniel.

On The Island
Daniel goes to Dr.Chang and tells him the truth, that they are from the future and that Miles is his son. Chang does not believe them.

Daniel believes that he can prevent the energy that will be breached, which will cause the DHARMA group to build the Hatch, which will later cause Oceanic 815 to crash and the freighter to arrive. He wants to visit the hostiles to retrieve the atom bomb (Jughead) they buried back in 1954 to destroy the energy. He also explains that his mother is a hostile.

Flashback
We learn that Daniel has a gift for math and science (obviously), his mother forces him to not waste his time on other things because it is his destiny. He constantly questions this, and in the end, she lets it slip that it is his destiny to go to the island.

Charles Widmore explains to Daniel that the island can cure his mind, which has been damaged because of his time experiments on himself.

Back to the present, Daniel's mom visits with Penny at the hospital. Once she learns that Desmond is okay, she leaves and lets Widmore know. We learn that Daniel is Widmore's son. Eloise says that he should go see his daughter, but Widmore says that she was something he sacrificed for the island. Eloise gets angry and says that she sent her son back to the island...

1977
Daniel reaches the Hostiles in search of his mother. He confronts Richard with a gun demanding to see Eloise. He then gets shot from behind and we see Eloise step out with a rifle. Daniel realizes what happened. He says to her "you always knew." He then tells her that she is his mother.

How awesome was that??? What a hard thing to do. Knowing that you will have to send your son to his death in order for things to happen the way they did. I wonder what the rest of the group will think of Jack's idea to pick up where Daniel left off. Obviously some of them do not wish to leave. If none of it ever happens, how will all their lives change? Also, this would be a really bad way to end the show. Erasing it all and saying that it never happened.

Girlfriend of the Week

Since I did not get a chance to put up one last week, I have come back from moving begging everyone for forgiveness. I figure the easiest way to do this: by making my GOTW Lanny Barbie, my favorite French Canadian pornstar!




I hope everyone forgives me. I would give a few of my fingers to bang her...

Hotwire: Requiem for the Dead

I recently finished reading the first two issues of Hotwire: Requiem for the Dead. It was created by Warren Ellis and Steve Pugh, with Pugh doing the writing.

The idea is that ghosts stop going to wherever they go. The energy that makes them up sticks around the earth and causes lots of problems. The government has set up machines that help dampen these ghosts.

The story focuses on a police officer, well she is a detective exorcist, who is investigating some weird occurrences regarding ghost bombs. She is a by the book cop, who may or may not have snitched on some cops for beating up immigrants. The city is on the verge of a riot, which serves as an interesting backdrop.

This book was my first Radical Comics series, and I have to say, I am highly impressed. After reading some of the previews of their other books, I may have to check some of them out. At this point, with more and more crap coming out of Marvel and DC, it is nice to see some of the smaller publishers trying to put out interesting material.

End of Vacation

'Tis a sad day. My vacation has ended. The beard must go...

Wabbachubbacabbadabbadoosolo

These kinds of things crack me up. Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg, seriously people, I understand it is an old Native American name, but let's just shorten it to Lake Chargo or Lake NoOneGivesAShitAbout. Who wants to bet that Grant Morrison uses this name as a villain in his next comic series?

Friday's Game

Let me tell you how much fun Friday's game was against the Braves. Umm, well it was a blast. Steve, Kacie, and I had awesome seats, like 4 rows behind the first base dugout. We sat with all the rich folks, it was a little weird.

We saw our second shutout, with Paul Maholm pitching masterfully. Nate hit a monster home run, and we enjoyed a great night. Afterward we headed to Mugshots to drink some beer. Please enjoy the pictures.


This is a shot of PNC Park across the bridge. We obviously did not stop for Kacie to take the picture.




This is not Kacie's amazing zoom, this is how close we were to the players. Pretty freakin' sweet. Anyways, I think this was the point where Mitsy and Bob (the rich folk in front of us) were saying this was Andy LaRoche. I kept saying that it was Adam, but they would not listen. Apparently they are hard to distinguish (Adam is left handed, Andy is a righty)...Also, Bob acted like he knew everything, they would ask him questions and he would get them wrong, but I would swoop in for the steal...


Steve and I flashing our double play sign. It worked in the first inning when the Braves had the bases loaded with one out.


The Parrot seemed to be humping that little girl's face. It was quite creepy.


This kid had a Braves hat, which the Parrot kept lifting out of his reach. It was funny, but if I were the little kid, I would have pushed the Parrot off the dugout. See who is laughing then...


Sometimes I really hate Kacie, she had to call the Parrot over for a picture. I have no problem with mascots, but I do not like to be around them. Not because I have some weird phobia or anything. I just know the kind of people that enjoy wearing those suits. That guy is probably a registered sex offender, half drunk, and sporting a super hard on. He is rubbing my head saying to himself "oh yeah, I'm gonna fuck your mouth baby." It creeps me out.


This is the three of us, I said serious pose, but apparently Kacie did not listen. There is a better one on her computer, but I must have missed it when I emailed them to myself. Oops, I am an idiot.















These last bunch of pictures were taken at Mugshots. You can tell I drank a good bit because my expressions are starting to get a bit retarded. That is Ryan in the picture up there, he showed up to introduce us to his new girlfriend, Shara (no clue if I spelled it right). When he said it, I thought he was saying Sara, but with a lisp (which would fit him, since he is gay). She seemed pretty cool, but then again, I was drunk, so a fire hydrant would have been cool too.

24: 2:00 a.m.-3:00 a.m.

Thank god this season is coming to a close. I doubt that I could really take much more of this. This super organization wanted the bioweapon, but Starkwood was not supposed to use it? I wonder if Jack's nephew (maybe son) will be the one behind everything.

Did anything cool happen? Not particularly, Jack figures out that Tony is really bad. Tony steals his seizure medicine and then walks away while Jack almost dies.

The preview for next week shows a pretty healthy looking Jack about to interrogate Jonas. I bet Kim gives him the stem cells and it heals him in like ten minutes.

24: 1:00 a.m.-2:00 a.m.

This episode started out very lame. Starkwoods big plan was to become the fifth branch of the military? What the hell kind of plan is that? Jack and Kim have a sweet reunion. Tony blows up the gas. Jonas Hodges goes to jail. The end.

But wait a second. Remember that guard who said he would do a perimeter check? Then never came back. Well he shows up at the end of the show to kill some FBI agents and leave with a canister of the bioweapon.

Larry and Tony chase the guy, and Larry takes a shotgun blast to the chest. As he dies, he tries to warn Tony that the guy is behind him. Tony looks at the guy and gives him the "hold on" sign. Larry realizes that Tony and that guy are together. Whoa, big double-double cross by Tony. Larry then dies by Tony's hand.

I know most people thought this was really awesome, but let me ask this question: what the hell is Tony's purpose? If he still wants revenge against the government for Michelle's death, then why not stick with Emerson's crew? Why not work with Starkwood?

Also, I am sick and tired of the major villain saying "I am just a small cog in a big wheel." Let me guess, the same organization that is bothering the CIA and MI6 in Quantum of Solace.

I know most people hate Kim, and I was surprised that she did not get kidnapped by some terrorists during her 3 minutes on the show, but she is super hot. As evidenced by this picture.

Lost: Episode 513

Sorry about the lack of posts. Between moving, Pirates games, and drinking, I am pretty wore out! Anyways, I just got the chance to watch Lost. What an awesome episode. We get to learn some of the secrets of Miles.

The interplay between he and Hurley has become as good as the old Sawyer/Hurley combination. Actually Hurley with anyone is pretty funny. Let me give you some of the highlights of what we learned:

-Miles father is Dr. Chang. Miles wants nothing to do with him, but Hurley convinces him to get to know him. He makes the analogy of how Return of the Jedi would not have sucked if Luke would have just talked to Vader at the end of Empire. Apparently Hurley is writing the script for Empire.

-Miles was kidnapped by an anti-Widmore group, who ask him if he knows "what lies in the shadow of the statue?" They warn him about going to the island. So, the question is, what lies in the shadow of the statue?

-We get to see the Dharma Initiative building the Hatch. Remember that thing? Hurley sees them putting the serial number on the window.

-Daniel gets off the submarine at the end of the episode as part of the group of scientists coming from Ann Arbor. How did he wind up there?

Opening Day

Steve and I went to the Pirate's home opener on Monday. Let me tell you, that was an awesome day. We started the day by heading to Denny's for breakfast at 10 a.m. I decide to order the Grand Slamwich, but to trump me Steve starts the ordering off by saying "I'll have the SUPER grand slamwich." Which then forces me to say "I'll have the regular slamwich."

After that we dropped Steve's car off, grabbed a beer and headed over to the bus stop. Nothing like cracking a beer at 11 a.m. We waited for the bus and listened to my annoying old neighbor (Peg Leg) bitch and moan about everything in the universe.

Once we got down to the stadium, we drank the rest of our six pack and headed into the stadium. As we are walking around, we talk about how it would be cool if we just got some really big cameras and microphones and said we were with the press. Just then, Action 10 news (the Altoona news station) walks by, and Steve says "yeah, like those guys." I point out that they are actually the Altoona news. They must have heard me because they turn around and ask if they can do an interview.

Here is the interview, Steve is in the yellow hat, I am towards the end. Oddly, the questions they asked would have normally led to an answer like "they are not that good, but building blocks are in place for the future." However, I have never been on TV, so I decided to go with the standard answer that the guy wanted to hear.

We drank plenty of beer at the game and when it was over, we headed over to Jack's on the South Side. We shot pool, drank, and then left to head back home to Mugshots. Once there, we were obviously pretty drunk. We did a few more shots, and drank way too many beers.

After awhile, my body began to shut down and around midnight I had to go home. The best part is, I get to do this all over again on Friday!

Happy Easter!

I hope everyone has a happy Easter. I will be out at my grandparents, gorging myself on excellent food and kicking ass at poker. What's that? Playing high stakes poker during a religious holiday is wrong? Well then I suppose I will enjoy my space in hell.

Buzzkill

This is for my brother, and I suppose anyone else can watch it too.

Buzz Killington A tribute
by Toninu

Girlfriend of the Week

In the spirit of Easter weekend, I decided this week's GOTW needs to be someone a little bit religious. That is why I have chosen Mary Magdalene. I know you are probably thinking "But Josh, you are an evil, atheist, bastard." And I would say "yeah, so?"

Obviously she had to be pretty hot. She was a whore, who made Jesus stop and go, "DAMN! That bitch is fine." I think that is in the gospel of John, but I am not 100% sure. And then if you believe the theory that they were married, well it must take a sexy woman to marry the son of god. Can you imagine Jesus bringing a girl home? "Oh, and this is my dad, God." That would be intimidating for any woman, except Angelina Jolie...

This picture was taken in the year 28. She was heading to a club in Jerusalem. Seriously, I am not making this up.

Lost: Episode 512

The episode focused on everyone's favorite character (I took a poll in my mind, the voices agree with me): Ben. Locke and Ben venture to the main island (after Ben shoots Caesar) and they run into Sun and Frank. Locke, Sun, and Ben wait for the monster to come and judge Mr. Linus, but it never shows up. Locke says he knows where it is at.

They head out to the temple, and go beneath. There are all sorts of crazy hieroglyphs, and then there is a grate with a picture of Anubis (the Egyptian god who judges the dead), then the black smoke envelopes Ben and he sees images of Alex. Then she is standing before him and threatens that if he tries to kill Locke again, she will hunt him down.

The flashbacks focused on how Ben came into possession of Alex and also how he got beat up before they came back. Apparently he was going to kill Penny, but could not do it. He shot Desmond, but must not have killed him because Des attacks him, and beats the shit out of him. It was awesome, although Desmond did not call him "brotha."

Anyways, it is cool to see Locke as the all-knowing one, and Ben being led around. Also, Ben is such a great character. And the guy who plays him (too lazy to look it up) does an excellent job of showing us that he can be ruthless yet caring.

And what the hell did the bounty hunter mean when she asked Frank about the statues? Who is she? I bet she is evil.

Adult Swim

Does anyone remember when Adult Swim started on Cartoon Network? Obviously I do not want you to reply with a date, but let me tell you a little story. Back in '02, I was living at State College Park, and pretty much every night I would watch Adult Swim. The lineup was awesome.

I remember it was Family Guy, SeaLab2020, Space Ghost, maybe Aqua Teen (not 100%), Lupin III, Cowboy Bebop, and Trigun. Obviously some shows changed, and I could be forgetting some stuff, but the anime stuff was really good. Plus, they would end the series (like Cowboy Bebop) and then continue showing it so that if you missed an episode, you could catch it later. Hell it probably took me three times before I caught the final episode of Cowboy Bebop.

Now, I feel like they try to copy the success of ATHF and Robot Chicken. Assy McGee, Stroker and Hoop, and Squidbillies do not really do anything for me. Bring back Lupin III, that show was hilarious. Plus, from what I understand, Adult Swim only had the rights to like one season, but there a bunch more episodes they could have picked up. Damn shame.

I guess my point to this mini-rant is that I used to watch Adult Swim every single night. Now, it is just something to watch if nothing else is on. And, the bumps used to be really clever and funny. Now, I have no problem flipping the channel when they come on...oh well. I guess I am just getting old and grumpy. Life was so much better in the old days!!!



Oh, and this opening is one of my favorite openings of any show. Also, I love this song.

24: 12:00 a.m.-1:00 a.m.

Well it did not take long for them to let us know that Jack will be alright. One episode. The cure awaits Jack through his daughter's stem cells or something like that. Agent Walker will contact her, Kim will say she wants nothing to do with him, then she will relent and come to his aid. Unfortunately on the way, Hodges will have her kidnapped and Jack will be forced to take the matter into his own hands to rescue her. He will fight some badass dude while having those seizures. He will use his last one before killing the guy and saving the day. Kim will then give him his stem cells (no idea how) and he will live. And that is how the season will end...

Anyways, am I the only person who could not stop watching Agent Walker's tits bounce when she was walking around?

Umm, aside from that, did anything else really happen? There was a standoff between the FBI and Starkwood. That ended weakly. Tony showed that he can be pretty badass. Hodges is threatening to bomb the country. I really have no idea what his plan is, but I can say this, it sucks.

Girlfriend of the Week

I usually use a DC girl for my GOTW, well if I am going with a comic book girl. The main reason, I think they have hotter girls. However, this week I will give Marvel a chance. This week is Elektra. She is definitely hot and deadly, which is a huge turn-on for me. Anyways, now that we know I am a bit creepy, let us move on.

There have been plenty of artists who have done excellent Elektra pictures, but my favorite is probably Greg Horn...Enjoy

Over There

If you look over to the right, you will notice I added a few things. For those of you who are super competitive, I have the Top Commenter. Which as of now, is owned by Offord. Come on people, you can overcome him!

The second one is the Popular Post, which shows which posts have the most comments. I highly recommend going back and reading some of them. Some are funny, some are scary...

Also, if you are a regular reader, please hit the follow button or the facebook group thing. Those of you that have already done so are exempt and can enjoy this funny video!

Lost: Episode 511

Last week's episode ended with a very young Ben dying from a gunshot wound. I asked the question of whether or not Ben would know who shot him. Well this week we got the answer.

Island Stuff
Jack refuses to help save Ben. He says that he already did it once, and that was because of Kate. This time he will not do it. Sawyer suspects that Ben freed Sayid, which makes Roger realize the same thing.

Meanwhile, Miles and Hurley discuss time travel. Hurley asks the question of why Ben did not say anything to Sayid about meeting him before when Sayid tortured him. Later, when Kate and Sawyer take little Ben to Richard, we learn why.

Richard explains that what they do to Ben will take his innocence. He will not remember much of what happened. In fact, he will now be one of them. The episode ends with modern day Ben waking up in hit cot, with a very creepy Locke saying "Welcome to the land of the living."

Flashback
The flashback focuses on Kate. All about how she gives Aaron back to Claire's mother. She tells Claire's mom that she is going back to the island to bring Claire back. Some of the other stuff in the flashback dealt with Kate and Sawyer's daughter's mom. Remember, they knew each other.

It is during that scene where we see that Kate truly does love Sawyer. I guess that was obvious to everyone.

Anyways, next week's episode shows Ben going to be judged. I am guessing by the smoke-monster.

Going Home

Well, it has been almost two years since I moved down to Pittsburgh, two fun years. Unfortunately, the time has come to an end and I must return home. The company I work for (that shall not be named) has finally granted my wish of returning to the central Pennsylvania region. I will be moving back up there in four or five weeks.

I will be living at my mom's house for a little bit and then I will try to find my own place or maybe find a roommate (anyone want one of those?). I am pretty excited about it, but also very sad. I have made plenty of friends down here, and will miss everyone.

I will definitely miss the fun times over at Mugshots with Steve. Before I go we need to have another Pirate home opener where we get absolutely bombed. Speaking of Mugshots, I will miss the hot bartenders: Jen, Anastasia, and Nicole. Also, MCA because he has a license to ill...

I will miss some of the people I work with, well most of them to be honest. Especially guys like Sean and Mike, we have drank plenty of beers together and I hope to see them again throughout our careers.

I am still upset that I never really got a chance to hang out with Allison, or Tami for that matter. I guess they will have to come up to Penn State...

Many of you might think this is odd, that if I am going to miss so much about my life down here, why even leave? However, these are the things I will get to enjoy being back in the center of the state. Seeing Kacie more than once or twice a month. Going to the movies with my brother. Attending any of the numerous family functions. Playing poker with the family. Hanging out with the few friends I have left from my PSU days. And last, but not least, making new friends and meeting new people. That is always a little bit scary, yet exciting.

24: 11:00 p.m.-12:00 a.m.

Slater tricks Tony into thinking he is going to help the government pull a raid on Starkwood. When the FBI gets there (with a full squad of SEALS) they find an empty hanger and they are then surrounded by the Starkwood army.

That was pretty much the entire episode. Okay, there was some other stuff. Like Jack testing positive for whatever disease the canister released. Which was kind of funny, if you watch House, it usually takes them multiple hours, or sometimes days to diagnose a super rare disease. The CDC diagnoses this one in 15 minutes, just off a multi-spectrum blood analysis. I guess House needs to get one of those.

Speaking of House, I bet he shows up at the end of the season with a cure for Jack. Either that or they will say something like "there is a doctor up at Princeton who may be able to find a cure..." Fox Synergy.

If Jack does die (he will not), what would next season be about? Political intrigue? Chloe in the field? Tony?