One Great Day

My body has finally started to recover. From what you may be asking? From the last few days that I have put myself through. As you know, I am on vacation this week and I have definitely started it off with a bang.

The weekend was pretty much standard fare, drinking/football/laying on the couch...Monday though, that was a different story. Steve and I went to the Pirates home opener this season, and we decided that it would be cool to go to the home closer.

We do our normal tradition of heading to Denny's for breakfast, then grabbing a six-pack, then heading to the stadium. We got there around noon, cracked our beers before the bridge and made our way towards the parking lot. Once over there we found Nicole (Steve's girlfriend, Mugshots bartender, awesome girl who dresses like Supergirl for Halloween) and her friends.

We are the only people in the parking lot tailgating. Normal people are at work or in the stadium (the game has started already). Me and the one girl (Ashley) start playing catch with a football. I am wearing my favorite jeans, which have a slight hole in the ass, but nothing major. I bend down to grab the football, and hear a ripping sound. I reach back and my pants are ripped completely down the ass.

I have to walk around the rest of the day with this hole in the pants, which the friends of Nicole keep making jokes about (do not worry, it did not bother me once I was drunk).

We finally decide to head into the game, it is the 7th inning. We do not bother to look for our seats, just head to the left field bleachers and begin cheering on the Bucs, who are up 9-0. Andy LaRoche hits a ball of the foul pole and makes it 11-0. The old guys in front of us are offended because we are having fun (we made sure to not swear or say anything offensive). We are just being loud and doing the wave.

Steve and I start to get excited in the 9th inning because if Duke gets a complete game shutout, that means we would have seen him throw two shutouts, and Paul Maholm throw one as well. Go to three games and they never give up a run? Damn, they should buy us season tickets...

Alas, it was not so, Duke gave up a triple, then a sac fly scored the man. Oh well, the Pirates won...

After that we head to the South Side and drink at the Haufbrahaus (that could be the spelling, I am way too lazy to check), where we argue about the spelling of rendezvous (apparently there is no X in it like I thought).

We leave there and go to Station Square, a place called Dirty Harry's (I could be making some of these names up). Steve and I are going to shoot pool, but Nicole wants to go to Bar Louies for martini's. So they go across the street (Ashley and I stayed because we already had beer's). They said they would be a few minutes...Ashley and I play darts and talk about stuff. Those guys finally get back and we shoot some pool. Let me say, I now know most of Ashley's history, likes/dislikes/reasons for getting married/how she made a mistake...any longer and I am sure I would have been pulling out a couch and saying things like "and how does that make you feel?"

We leave there and head back over to Bar Louies, where we drink a few more, Steve and I head outside to smoke and decide to piss in the Mon. It was a cool view though, nothing like a nice backdrop for a piss.

At this point, Steve is starting to get a little drunk. Ashley leaves with some guy, and we are now down to three. Steve's friend Mikaelya (that cannot possibly be how you spell her name) comes to get us and takes us to the LBC (apparently some Mount Oliver bar). We drink there for a bit, Steve's sister joins us there.

It starts to get later in the evening, and Mikaelya takes us back to Mugshots. We drink a few more and then it becomes apparent we are both about done. We drank until about two in the morning though, a nice fun 13 hour drinking binge.

Here is the question I pose to you out there? Are you down for next years home opener? Can we top the insanity of this season?

Girlfriend of the Week

I enjoy porn. That is an understatement. I should probably go to some Porn Addict Anonymous meetings or something. Whatever, judge me if you want. Anyways, I have been enjoying some of the work of Allie Sin and in all honesty have no clue why. She is cute, but not super hot. I just like the way she looks. In fact, she looks like a girl you would see at a bar in State College. Also, she is almost unnaturally white, which is hot in this instance.

Also, it is quite difficult to find pictures of pornstars that do not have them naked or inserting something into some orifice...

What's Going On

I know that 92% of you are always dying to know what is going on in my life. So I figured today was a good day for a quick update.

Seminar
As I have said before, last week I went to a work seminar, which we have two each year (luckily my first vacation almost always falls on the first one). I hate going to them, mainly because sitting there for eight hours listening to people talk makes my ass and brain hurt.

This year was no exception (except that I got to see a few friends from Pittsburgh). It was long, it was boring, but most of all, it seems redundant. They had a guest speaker who told us things we should all know (at least I think we should, maybe there were some people in the audience who are morons and needed to hear some guy spout off simple things...)

I will not complain too much though, it is a day of work, plus I get paid for my drive down.

Books
I recently finished a book, The Singing, which is the fourth book in Allison Croggon's series about Pellinor. It was decent. The ending left a lot to be desired though.

Fortunately I have started rereading Wolves of the Calla, the fifth book in Stephen King's Dark Tower series. Ever since Offord let me borrow the series (say thankee-sai), I have been slowly buying and rereading them again. In fact, I have reread The Gunslinger twice as well as Wizards and Glass.

The great thing is that I can focus on some of the little things, especially now that I know how it all ends, it is fun to really nitpick at it.

Sports
I have yet to watch a Penn State game this year. Kind of annoying, but since I go on vacation this week, I will get to see the Iowa game and the game after that (I am too lazy to look at a schedule). Anyone have any plans for the game Saturday? Where should I watch it, with whom?

TV Shows
Since I worked daylights all week, I usually go to bed pretty early, but I have become better at setting my DVR to watch shows. This week I watched the new House, which was okay, but nothing spectacular. He was in an asylum, he gets help, he goes home. Wow, great. Does that mean he will be a different person now, will we have to see him go to a shrink once a week? I hope not.

Sons of Anarchy is one of the coolest shows out there. I want to check out season one because so far season two has been awesome.

My Birthday
My birthday is coming up. Friday October 2nd. I am giving you all time to buy me nice gifts. Or send me money/gift cards to Best Buy/Comic Swap. Also, if anyone wants to take me out Friday or Saturday night, just let me know. I would like a birthday dinner/lots of birthday drinks (IT'S GONNA BE A BLACKOUT!-name that band)/birthday threesome. In that order.

Here is a list of things you can buy me to make me happy:
Burn Notice Season 2
Mad Men Seasons 1&2
Sons of Anarchy Season 1
Tickets to Las Vegas next summer
A broadsword
342 cases of Mountain Dew
A midget
OMG TICKETS TO SEE NEW MOON!!!! Just kidding, I would rather gouge out my eyes with said broadsword (or the midgets fingers).





















And last, but not least: Shyla Stylez. If you get me her for my birthday, I will be a happy camper; even if for just one hourseven minutes.

Sports Stupidity

Do you listen to Sports Talk Radio? I do, in fact one of the things I miss about living in Pittsburgh is listening to 1250 and also Mark Madden. Most of you that have listened to Madden know that he can be a complete jerk to his callers, which can be funny at times.

Anyways, up here in hillbilly land, we really do not get too much local sports talk shows. Usually ESPN Radio just has some of their syndicated stuff, which is good, but sometimes I want to hear someone talk about the Pirates, Steelers, PSU, etc...

The only time I really get that is when I leave work at 4 p.m. and get a chance to listen to Cory Giger from the Altoona Mirror. His show is usually pretty good, and he does a great job of taking callers seriously, most of the time.

Well the other day he received a call from a guy (I think Clint was his name). Clint brings up that the day before Cory said that the Vikings were the best team as of week two. Clint says that it is ridiculous to say who the best team is after two weeks and that the Vikings are not even close.

This is one of those few times where you hear Cory actually get highly annoyed. He first asks who the guy thinks is the best team, and the guy says the Steelers, but Cory points out that the Steelers could easily be 0-2 and are not playing all that well.

The guy then continues to rail against the idea of picking the best team in week two. This pisses Giger off, and he starts criticizing Clint by saying that its a sports show, what else would he have them talk about, and everyone does this, everyone sits around and discusses who the best teams are at the moment. Clint does not like this and says that he and his friends never do that. Cory then calls him a liar.

It occurred to me that Giger would have been better served by pointing out that Clint obviously thinks about this since he called in a day later and brings it up. I think Giger was more upset with the fact that Clint said his opinion was stupid, yet had no reason to back up his own opinion (which would piss me off too).

I am glad to have found a good radio show to listen to, I hope that people continue to call in with stupid questions, or good questions.

MVP Watch 4

I apologize for not updating last week, really busy with a seminar and whatnot. No excuse really, just thought I should let you know. Lets have a look at the guys I consider to be contenders for MVP and see how they did this week. Each week I recap their week using these stats: Hits/HRs/SB/BA/OBP/SLG/R/K/BB/Team Record for Week.

NL
Pujols: 13/3/0/.333/.440/.641/7/4/7/5-6
H-Ram: 14/2/2/.280/.351/.400/8/9/6/8-5
Fielder: 14/3/0/.333/.453/.667/10/9/9/8-4
Braun: 15/1/1/.319/.365/.447/8/8/3/8-4
Howard: 9/3/2/.205/.368/.455/8/11/10/10-3

Rank
Pujols: 151 (36)
H-Ram: 128 (30)
Howard: 125 (36)
Braun: 121 (33)
Fielder: 117 (43)

Fielder had a pretty great week, but it still looks like Pujols is a lock to win this race. Now, onto the exciting part.

AL
Mauer: 16/2/0/.432/.523/.676/7/4/7/7-5
Cabrera: 14/2/2/.286/.386/.449/6/8/8/4-9
Texeira: 18/2/0/.419/.426/.814/7/9/1/6-5
Abreu: 11/0/1/.256/.327/.349/5/8/6/7-5
Jeter: 14/0/2/.326/.420/.372/7/10/7/6-5

Rank
Mauer: 163 (44)
Texeira: 142 (37)
Cabrera: 140 (33)
Jeter: 130 (33)
Abreu: 130 (26)

Texeira moves past Cabrera for the second spot. He had a fantastic stretch, but unfortunately, it does not really compare to Mauer. If Joe Mauer does not win the MVP this year, it will be pretty sad. Especially if the Twins catch the Tigers for the division...

True Blood: The End

I was very disappointed with the season finale of True Blood. A full season of build up, and then it ends with very little confrontation. It was pretty weak.

I at least wanted Eric to show up with a giant broad sword and try to cut Maryann's head off. But no, instead we get Sam turning into a bull and stabbing her through the heart.

The rest of the episode felt like it was just trying to wrap things up a little too quickly. For example, Eggs. He seems to be pretty messed up after learning about stabbing people. He tries to turn himself in, but gets shot. I wonder if they did this to go back to the time when Tara was in love Jason?

The best part of the episode was Sam visiting his adoptive parents, and finding out that his real parents were bad people and then getting their name. I am sure next season will focus more on that quest.

The ending was okay, but nothing spectacular. Bill proposes to Sookie, she goes to the bathroom, and somebody comes and takes Bill. The same thing that happens on all of my dates. Except, when the girl goes to the bathroom, I bolt for the door leaving her with the check...

Anyways, I am sure Eric has something to do with this. Since we learned that he is selling vampire blood for the queen. Also interesting was the comment "you may be the oldest, most powerful vampire in my queendom." Does that mean Eric is older than Queen Sophie? Interesting. Remember, Eric felt that Godric should have been King...

And the final question: what the hell is Sookie? I asked this question after the first season when she whipped the chain around the dude's neck. Nothing ever seemed to come of it, but now she thought about it again. Maybe she is a chupacabra...

Supernatural 501

The fifth season picked up right where the fourth season left off. Sam killed Lilith, who just happened to be the final seal to release Lucifer. Things look bad for Sam and Dean, but then a bright light happens and they are whisked away from the danger.

They go see their buddy the prophet Chuck. He tells them that Castiel was killed by the other angels for disobedience. They learn that they must retrieve Michael's sword to defeat Lucifer. Some demons come and fight Sam and Dean, but it ends well.

They head to the place where they believe the sword to be, but Zach and his angels are there. They inform them that Dean is the sword. Dean thinks they mean he is a weapon, but in truth he is the vessel. Angels must have permission to take someone's body (same with Lucifer).

Dean refuses and Zach begins torturing them. A bright light shows up and Castiel kills two of the angels. Zach asks how he came back, and Castiel says something like "how do you think?"

The episode ends with Lucifer convincing his vessel to allow him to take control. Dean informing Sam that he cannot forgive him and that they will never be like they were.

The season seems to be going towards a three way battle, Angels vs. Lucifer, with Sam, Dean, and Castiel searching for God who could stop everything. Apparently it was God who saved Sam and Dean when Lucifer returned.

Silly Weekend Video

This may be the funniest video I watched all week. Seriously. Anyone that loves Seinfeld should check this out.

Girlfriend of the Week

This week's GOTW goes out to my friend Marie. She is very attractive and a very funny person to hang out with. She actually stayed at my apartment for a few days when Kacie and I lived downtown. So here are some pictures of her for everyone to enjoy.

I Sell The Dead

The other night I watched I Sell The Dead via IFC On Demand. It stars Dominic Monaghan (Charlie from Lost) and Ron Perlman (Sons of Anarchy, Hellboy, coolest mo'fo of all time).

The movie is set in England during the 1800s, Monaghan plays Arthur Blake, a grave robber who is about to be beheaded the next day. Perlman plays a priest who is there to get his last words. Blake recounts a tale of how he and his former partner did many crazy things, such as find vampires, aliens, and zombies.

The movie is not really scary, but is pretty funny at times. The scene where they figure out if you stake the vampire, and then pull it out she comes back to life is hilarious. Also the zombie pawing Arthur's partner from inside the cage and Arthur's jokes about it calling him darling, again quite funny.

There is a twist at the end of the movie which was pretty predictable, but still entertaining. If you want to watch a short movie which will make you laugh, then check this one out.

Nostradamus and the End of the World As We Know It

I know I tell you folks this all the time, but let me say it again: I love The History Channel, especially crappy shows about aliens and whatnot. Well, since the world is going to end in 2012, they seem to be airing tons of Nostradamus, 2012, or Apocalypse/Bible Code programs.

They usually have all the same "experts" come in and talk about how the world will end and how it has all been predicted, blah blah blah. So, I will discuss two of these topics: Nostradamus and the Mayans.

Nostradamus
You all know the stories, Nostradamus makes eerie predictions that have come true over the years. But, I have a problem with the guy, well not so much the guy, but the people who say he was right. If you make vague predictions, it is not hard to go back in time and fit them to actual events.

In order to make a point, I am going to make a prediction. I will write something and we shall see if it comes true.

In the days of the shortened sun
The sky will darken and blood shall run
The eagle and lion shall dance together
Their lives entwined forever and ever

I made that up in like five minutes, and I will bet money that in the next few months some of it will come true. I just need to remember to watch the news.

The Mayans
So the Mayans invents a pretty cool calendar. Unfortunately, it ends on 12/21/2012. The doomsday folks like to look at that and say "oh my god, the world will end." In reality, all that it means is the Mayan calendar starts a new cycle.

They even wrote things down that would happen after the cycle resets, such as anniversaries of different rulers. Unfortunately though, no one asks a Mayan expert (hopefully an anthropologist) their thoughts on the subject.

Want to know something crazy? My 2009 calendar ends on December 31! The world must be ending, oh wait. It actually means I have to buy a new calendar. Once the Mayans were done doing their hard work on a couple thousand year long calendar, they decided to end it at the most logical point. The end of the cycle. I bet the guy working on it figured that someone else would start a new one. He did not think his people would fade into obscurity.

So yeah, that is how I feel about some of this stuff. The world will be fine in 2013, nothing will happen on 12/21/12...or will it?

NFL Predictions 2009

Tomorrow night is the beginning of football season, so I figured I should put my predictions up for the season. I did it last year and obviously was not really close. Maybe one day I could get a few teams right...

AFC East
Patriots
Dolphins
Jets
Bills

AFC North
Steelers
Ravens
Bengals
Browns

AFC South
Colts
Texans
Titans
Jaguars

AFC West
Chargers
Broncos
Chiefs
Raiders

Wildcard: Dolphins & Ravens

NFC East
Giants
Cowboys
Eagles
Redskins

NFC North
Vikings
Bears
Packers
Lions

NFC South
Falcons
Panthers
Saints
Buccaneers

NFC West
Cardinals
Seahawks
49ers
Rams

Wildcard: Cowboys & Panthers

AFC Championship: Chargers over Steelers
NFC Championship: Vikings over Panthers
Super Bowl: Chargers over Vikings

Looking back to last year, I only got 4 of the division winners, and none of the Wildcards. I was the only one to take the Cardinals to win the West though, so I should get some credit. Actually, I got the most division winners right, haha. That is funny because I put no thought into my picks.

Credit goes to Ryan for predicting the Steelers to win the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, he did not pull a Gideon and actually get the entire Super Bowl correct.

MVP Watch Week 3

Lets have a look at the guys I consider to be contenders for MVP and see how they did this week. Each week I recap their week using these stats: Hits/HRs/SB/BA/OBP/SLG/R/K/BB/Team Record for Week.

NL
Pujols: 12/3/0/.462/.533/.923/10/1/4/5-2
Fielder: 6/1/0/.231/.355/.462/4/7/5/2-4
Braun: 8/0/2/.333/.429/.417/3/6/4/2-4
H-Ram: 6/2/0/.353/.455/.824/5/5/4/3-3
Howard: 9/1/0/.346/.370/.654/2/7/1/2-5

Rank
Pujols: 115 (45)
H-Ram: 98 (35)
Howard: 89 (21)
Braun: 88 (26)
Fielder: 74 (21)

This really does not seem like much of a race, Pujols is continuing to destroy the ball. H-Ram is in second place, but it's not much of a race at this point.

AL
Mauer: 11/1/1/.393/.433/.571/4/3/1/4-3
Texeira: 8/3/0/.258/.378/.613/10/10/5/6-2
Abreu: 6/1/1/.286/.516/.524/4/6/9/4-3
Jeter: 8/0/1/.242/.375/.273/4/7/7/7-1
Cabrera: 8/1/1/.348/.467/.478/5/2/6/6-1

Rank
Mauer: 119 (36)
Cabrera: 107 (39)
Texeira: 105 (33)
Abreu: 104 (36)
Jeter: 97 (29)

I decided to put Cabrera and Jeter into the mix. Because I did not feel like going back and redoing each weeks results, I just gave those two an average score (which ended up being equal to Abreu's total of 68).

I know someone is going to notice that Jeter and Texeira have different records. They both received a game off at different times. Anyways, Mauer is still the leader, but Cabrera and Texeira are creeping up on him. Fortunately this week was much better for the AL than last week.

What's Been Goin' On

I know I have not really posted much lately, been pretty busy. Or just been lazy, whatever. So here is what has been going on in my life.

Drinking
I did that a few times last week. Unfortunately, I worked all weekend so I could not go out for the Penn State game (which I did not get to watch) or for the Labor Day holiday...

Nothing really extraordinary happened, just me drinking, so sadly, I have no stories for you.

Book Store Adventure
Friday I went to Barnes & Noble to buy some books. I am standing there in the fiction section, looking Wolves of Calla by Stephen King. This cute girl comes by and starts browsing the section as well. She smiles at me and I think nothing of it.

I then make my way over to the Fantasy section, and after a few minutes there she is again. She smiles and I smile back. Yet, I really think nothing of it. One of the books I was looking for happens to be in the teen section, so I make my way over there, and here comes cute girl. Now, my thought is, I should talk to her, but then I think, she could just be looking at the same kind of books.

So, I test the theory. I go across the store and start looking at history books. Without fail, here comes my girl. She is looking at history books, and smiles at me. At this point, what should I do? Talk to her, try to get her phone number, something, right?

What do you think I did? You guessed it, I walked briskly to the register, paid for my books, and got in my car. Once in my car I thought to myself how stupid I was and that I should have said something. Instead of going back in and actually doing it though, I just tucked my penis between my legs and drove home.

Why would I share this story?

TV Shows
The fall season is quickly coming up and I need some shows to watch. As of now I am looking forward to House, Supernatural, Bones, Smallville, and maybe Flash Forward.

I really do not know if I will even give Heroes a shot. I still have never finished last season. Did anyone? Was it good? Should I watch it and maybe continue writing about it this season? Which shows should I write about?

Speaking of good shows, I finally watched the finale of Supernatural. I am pretty excited about this season. Sam and Dean up against Lucifer. When the season first started I was nervous about them introducing angels into the mix. But, when we learn that the angels are trying to help start the apocalypse, that was a pretty cool twist. Especially when Zacharriah says that god checked out long ago...

Midnights
I have to go back to working a few third shifts this week. It was a nice two months or so since my last one, which has been great. I would complain, but I am actually looking forward to it.

Well that's about it. I plan to write a post everyday this week, so you know, come back, comment, whatever...

Next Film Worth Seeing

If you are a fan of Office Space and Idiocracy, the you will want to check out Mike Judge's new film Extract. If you do not believe me, then just listen to two of the greatest characters ever created.

@ Yahoo! Video

MVP Watch Week 2

Lets have a look at the guys I consider to be contenders for MVP and see how they did this week. Each week I recap their week using these stats: Hits/HRs/SB/BA/OBP/SLG/R/K/BB/Team Record for Week.

NL
Pujols: 8/1/2/.400/.500/.750/4/1/4/5-1
H-Ram: 7/0/1/.318/.423/.318/3/1/3/3-3
Howard: 11/5/0/.393/.433/1.000/5/8/2/4-3
Braun: 8/2/0/.267/.303/.500/5/9/1/4-3
Fielder: 7/3/0/.259/.375/.593/4/4/5/4-3

Rank (This weeks score in parenthesis)
Pujols: 70 (44)
Howard: 68 (37)
H-Ram: 63 (29)
Braun: 62 (25)
Fielder: 53 (30)

Pujols rebounded nicely, as did Ryan Howard. Funny that Braun did not strike out at all last week, and this week he struck out 9 times (in less games). Not a very good week.

AL
Mauer: 5/0/0/.200/.200/.200/2/3/0/4-2
Morneau: 3/1/0/.136/.240/.364/3/5/3/4-2
Crawford: 2/0/1/.143/.133/.143/1/2/0/2-2
Texeira: 5/1/0/.208/.286/.375/4/5/3/4-2
Abreu: 3/1/1/.136/.286/.273/5/3/5/2-4

Rank
Mauer: 83 (36)
Texeira: 72 (45)
Abreu: 68 (41)
Crawford: 61 (31)
Morneau: 57 (38)

What a worthless span of games. How the hell do you have a lower OBP than BA?? What the hell were you doing this week Carl Crawford. Seriously, no wonder we started discussing Jeter and Morales. Anyways, Mauer still seems to be in the lead (especially in my super scientific made up ranking system). I almost wanted to dock Abreu points for having a losing record. It is funny that I started this to keep track, mainly to help argue for Mauer, but if the AL guys keep playing like this, who cares who wins.

It seems like the NL could actually become a race. Pujols seemed to be a lock, but who knows (this was about the point last year where the Dunn/Howard argument started, which at the time was an okay argument, until Howard decided to destroy baseballs for all of September...could he be setting up to do it again?)

True Blood: Almost the End

Last night's episode was pretty sweet. Unfortunately it is coming to an end, and I really have not had my fill of the show...

Bill meets with the vampire Queen (I wonder if she is just the queen of Area 5 or queen of all vampires?) She explains that Maryann was once human, but has evolved into something else. She cannot be killed because she only believes her death can only come from her god's return.

Elsewhere, Sam meets with Eric and asks for some help from Eric. Eric goes to the queen as well, pretty much to piss Bill off and impress Sookie.

The best part of the episode though, has to be Jason. He said some of the dumbest stuff I have ever heard one person utter, and it was absolutely hilarious. His confusion of bible stories is amusing, and his new sense of leadership cracks me up.

I look forward to the final episode, even if it will take a few weeks.