Remember when I went to Jordan and Egypt? Did I ever mention how horny I was when I got back? I went over six weeks without any type of release. Well I did have sex with the one girl, but other than that, it was like three weeks without masturbating. Needless to say, I was on the verge of exploding.
After being back a few days, I decided to go out after playing some softball with James and Jason. We went up to the Arena (was it called The Last Cowboy still?) and shot pool. I decided to send this girl we worked with, Liz, a text message asking what she was doing.
For those of you that don't know about Liz, let me explain. She was a complete whore. I had sex with her a bunch of times and it was not great, but it was always good if drunk or whatever.
She says that she is over at Gideon's apartment, helping him clean. I then let her know that if she wants to take a break, I could give her a little reward (considering that I am planning on moving into that apartment with Gideon). She says okay, and we meet up at this usual spot. At this point, I did not have my own place in State College yet, I had lived at my mom's for about a semester before going to Jordan.
The nice thing about this girl was, she had no delusions about what this relationship was, there was no talking, no how are you, just lets have sex and lets make it quick. So, we start going at it and after about 45 seconds, I am ready to explode, and I think she can tell. So, she gets down and starts giving me a little mouth action.
I am not some kind of porn star, and when I get off, it does not fly across the room or anything cool like that. However, this time, I looked like some kind circus freak. I shoot, and it must of taken her by surprise because she pulls it out of her mouth, unfortunately for her, I am not done. I shoot another round, and she moves out of the way! It lands like five feet away.
So, I put my pants back on, hop in my car (we were having sex outside at a park by the way) and send James a text message asking him if they are still at the bar. They are, so I go over and go back to pool and beer. Apparently I was gone for like fifteen minutes...
30 November 2009
25 November 2009
Baseball Wrap-Up
The year of baseball is over. The MVPs were announced and I just wanted to rub it in to everyone who argued for Bobby Abreu (I am looking at you Ryan), that the writers made the smart choice and voted for Joe Mauer. Back when I wrote this post, I made strong points for Greinke, Lincecum, Pujols, and Mauer winning their respective awards and it looks like I was correct.
I also want to point out that, while my friends do not believe in any of the advanced metrics to evaluate players, some writers actually do. Keith Law was on Colin Cowherd talking about how he used the advanced pitching metrics to distinguish between NL pitchers. He also said that he voted Carpenter fourth place because he felt that the Cardinals skipping him in rotation at times to keep him healthy (while smart for the team) hurts his chance at the Cy Young. I just thought that was interesting tidbit.
Now we move to the off-season, and we debate who will sign which free agents and we get excited because the Pirates signed someone. I will ask this question to you all, of the players on this list, which should the Pirates try for? I have some thoughts, but I will discuss them in the comments.
I also want to point out that, while my friends do not believe in any of the advanced metrics to evaluate players, some writers actually do. Keith Law was on Colin Cowherd talking about how he used the advanced pitching metrics to distinguish between NL pitchers. He also said that he voted Carpenter fourth place because he felt that the Cardinals skipping him in rotation at times to keep him healthy (while smart for the team) hurts his chance at the Cy Young. I just thought that was interesting tidbit.
Now we move to the off-season, and we debate who will sign which free agents and we get excited because the Pirates signed someone. I will ask this question to you all, of the players on this list, which should the Pirates try for? I have some thoughts, but I will discuss them in the comments.
24 November 2009
Sex Tails, A Woo Hoo Pt. 2
It is time for another scintillating tale about sex. In the last story, I amazed you with how big of a jerk I can be, well this one probably is not much better.
When I first started working at The Place That Shall Not Be Named (for fear that HR will read it and try to punish me again) in the summer of '02 there was a cute server named Jess. One night after a long midnight shift together, Jess, Tom, and I all went to Denny's for breakfast.
It was at this point that we had the brilliant idea to get beer and drink by the pool at State College Park all day. Which we did, and had a great time. Sadly though, we kept drinking all night long, and into the wee hours of the next morning. It started to become apparent that Jess was into me, so I talked to her for a bit and we ended up having sex. This is the reason that Matt K hated my guts at work because he tried to hook up with her, but she turned him down for me.
So for the next few weeks we work together and whatnot, I hang out with her a few more times and once I realize I am not going to have sex with her again, I pretty much stop talking to her. She was hot, but very dumb and very uninteresting.
Anyways, a few months go by and I have since moved into apartment #352 at State College Park with Justin and Jackson. During one of the first weekends, we all go out and get pretty drunk for the Penn State game. Justin and I end up back at the apartment (we think Jackson was banging this girl nicknamed Stop-Sign, mainly because her head was very large and octagon shaped).
I get a call from Jess, she is drunk and over at Snappy's and cannot get a cab. She asks if she can stay at my place. So she comes over and the three of us are drinking some beers and shooting the shit. Jess asks if it is okay to sleep on the couch. Justin (being one of the greatest humans alive) says "so wait, you two have had sex before, right?" She says yes, he then asks if she has a boyfriend. She says no. Justin then basically convinces her that it would be stupid of her not to have sex with me. She thinks about this for a little bit, and says "you are right!"
Next thing I know, we are in my room, and she is riding me like there is prize money involved. So, while we are going at it, I notice something. The light under my door is blocked, meaning someone is standing outside the door. At that moment, I realize that Justin is contemplating on walking in and seeing if he can have a turn or join in, whatever.
Luckily the phone rings, and it is Kim. She wants to come over and have sex with Justin (this is the girl who one time told me that her pussy is made of gold, to which Justin replied "gold, that thing is a cum dumpster, it should say biowaste on the side").
After that night, I never really talked to Jess again, I think maybe once on myspace years later. I will say this about her though, she could ride a dick.
This is a picture of her from that first day of drinking. That is Tom presenting her ass...
When I first started working at The Place That Shall Not Be Named (for fear that HR will read it and try to punish me again) in the summer of '02 there was a cute server named Jess. One night after a long midnight shift together, Jess, Tom, and I all went to Denny's for breakfast.
It was at this point that we had the brilliant idea to get beer and drink by the pool at State College Park all day. Which we did, and had a great time. Sadly though, we kept drinking all night long, and into the wee hours of the next morning. It started to become apparent that Jess was into me, so I talked to her for a bit and we ended up having sex. This is the reason that Matt K hated my guts at work because he tried to hook up with her, but she turned him down for me.
So for the next few weeks we work together and whatnot, I hang out with her a few more times and once I realize I am not going to have sex with her again, I pretty much stop talking to her. She was hot, but very dumb and very uninteresting.
Anyways, a few months go by and I have since moved into apartment #352 at State College Park with Justin and Jackson. During one of the first weekends, we all go out and get pretty drunk for the Penn State game. Justin and I end up back at the apartment (we think Jackson was banging this girl nicknamed Stop-Sign, mainly because her head was very large and octagon shaped).
I get a call from Jess, she is drunk and over at Snappy's and cannot get a cab. She asks if she can stay at my place. So she comes over and the three of us are drinking some beers and shooting the shit. Jess asks if it is okay to sleep on the couch. Justin (being one of the greatest humans alive) says "so wait, you two have had sex before, right?" She says yes, he then asks if she has a boyfriend. She says no. Justin then basically convinces her that it would be stupid of her not to have sex with me. She thinks about this for a little bit, and says "you are right!"
Next thing I know, we are in my room, and she is riding me like there is prize money involved. So, while we are going at it, I notice something. The light under my door is blocked, meaning someone is standing outside the door. At that moment, I realize that Justin is contemplating on walking in and seeing if he can have a turn or join in, whatever.
Luckily the phone rings, and it is Kim. She wants to come over and have sex with Justin (this is the girl who one time told me that her pussy is made of gold, to which Justin replied "gold, that thing is a cum dumpster, it should say biowaste on the side").
After that night, I never really talked to Jess again, I think maybe once on myspace years later. I will say this about her though, she could ride a dick.
This is a picture of her from that first day of drinking. That is Tom presenting her ass...
23 November 2009
New Moon
I did it. I went and saw New Moon with Kacie. It was by far the cinematic masterpiece I had envisioned. Just kidding, it sucked a big, fat donkey dong.
I did not see the first one, but I did read the first book, which I liked so much I never bothered to pick up the rest of them. I cannot even explain how bad this movie was for me. Seriously, if someone would have ran in with a gun, I would have volunteered to be shot first.
Why was it so bad? The acting is awful. Kristen Stewart...AHHH. I am getting frustrated just trying to explain how bad she was. I cannot tell if Bella is the most worthless character ever, or if Stewart is such a bad actor that it feels like Bella has nothing. Why would anyone care if she lost her soul, there is absolutely nothing there.
And, why are all these hot guys (I use that term loosely, since women apparently find Robert Pattinson attractive) trying to get her? She sucks.
As you can tell, I cannot even put into words my hatred for this film. So, I will allow others to do it for me. Check out the filmdrunk collection of reviews.
Also, over at Skepchick, there is a fantastic review of the movie (it is funny and thought provoking). I recommend you go read this review now, here is one of my favorite parts of it.
Here is a funny video making fun of the movie:
Also, anyone read Memnoch the Devil? Did Stephanie Meyer steal the idea of a vampire revealing himself to the world as suicide from that book? Armand did it towards the end...
I decided to add this clip of Kevin Smith talking about the movie as well because it is hilarious (although, I may have posted it before...)
I did not see the first one, but I did read the first book, which I liked so much I never bothered to pick up the rest of them. I cannot even explain how bad this movie was for me. Seriously, if someone would have ran in with a gun, I would have volunteered to be shot first.
Why was it so bad? The acting is awful. Kristen Stewart...AHHH. I am getting frustrated just trying to explain how bad she was. I cannot tell if Bella is the most worthless character ever, or if Stewart is such a bad actor that it feels like Bella has nothing. Why would anyone care if she lost her soul, there is absolutely nothing there.
And, why are all these hot guys (I use that term loosely, since women apparently find Robert Pattinson attractive) trying to get her? She sucks.
As you can tell, I cannot even put into words my hatred for this film. So, I will allow others to do it for me. Check out the filmdrunk collection of reviews.
Also, over at Skepchick, there is a fantastic review of the movie (it is funny and thought provoking). I recommend you go read this review now, here is one of my favorite parts of it.
I maintain: The Twilight series is dangerous. Not because Bella is a brainless, empty, shell of a female character. I don’t have a problem with weak women in the movies. What bothers me is that this tripe is being sold not just as normal but as DESIRABLE. As something that women should aspire to. Young girls around the country are debating whether she should choose Edward or Jacob. Which abuse is better? He’s insanely jealous and stalks me or he can barely control his anger and may physically abuse me at any moment?
Here is a funny video making fun of the movie:
Also, anyone read Memnoch the Devil? Did Stephanie Meyer steal the idea of a vampire revealing himself to the world as suicide from that book? Armand did it towards the end...
I decided to add this clip of Kevin Smith talking about the movie as well because it is hilarious (although, I may have posted it before...)
Time For Some Morbidity
Last week I went to a funeral. Last time I went to a funeral I caused a war, which still has some of the best comments ever. Anyways, after the funeral I started thinking about my own death. I guess that is a natural thing to do, right? What if I die young? I know, I know, that is sick to think about, but anything can happen. Just being realistic.
I decided that I should write down my wishes concerning my funeral and all that good stuff.
1) I do not want to be buried. Cremation works for me. I want my ashes to be spread at PNC Park, hopefully at center field when the Pirates win the World Series (someone might be holding on to those ashes for a very LONG time). Or, I want someone to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro and sprinkle my ashes at the top. That should really ruin someone's day.
2) No religious service. I am an atheist. I do not want some priest talking about how "Josh is in the kingdom of the lord." Look, if I am wrong and there is a God, then I am most likely in Hell, I do not want people dwelling on that fact.
3) Everyone should just go and meet up at Champs and just tell some funny stories about me. You dickheads better say nice things!
4) I want a memorial built for me. Not some small little stone thing, I want a giant statue. It has to be huge, and I better be holding a sword. Preferably locked in battle with a Balrog.
5) One person must be designated to go to the statue on my birthday and leave an offering of bacon. A committee of twelve will decide who the person should be each year. I get to choose the first person: Offord.
6) If space travel becomes simple by the time I die, then please disregard the above and just have them bury me on the Moon. I want to be the first person buried on the Moon.
7) If I am killed because of a zombie conquest, disregard the above and please run like hell.
8) If I get eaten by a sparkly vampire, disregard the above and feel free to make fun of me for the rest of my life.
That just about does it. Please respect my wishes...or I will come back more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
I decided that I should write down my wishes concerning my funeral and all that good stuff.
1) I do not want to be buried. Cremation works for me. I want my ashes to be spread at PNC Park, hopefully at center field when the Pirates win the World Series (someone might be holding on to those ashes for a very LONG time). Or, I want someone to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro and sprinkle my ashes at the top. That should really ruin someone's day.
2) No religious service. I am an atheist. I do not want some priest talking about how "Josh is in the kingdom of the lord." Look, if I am wrong and there is a God, then I am most likely in Hell, I do not want people dwelling on that fact.
3) Everyone should just go and meet up at Champs and just tell some funny stories about me. You dickheads better say nice things!
4) I want a memorial built for me. Not some small little stone thing, I want a giant statue. It has to be huge, and I better be holding a sword. Preferably locked in battle with a Balrog.
5) One person must be designated to go to the statue on my birthday and leave an offering of bacon. A committee of twelve will decide who the person should be each year. I get to choose the first person: Offord.
6) If space travel becomes simple by the time I die, then please disregard the above and just have them bury me on the Moon. I want to be the first person buried on the Moon.
7) If I am killed because of a zombie conquest, disregard the above and please run like hell.
8) If I get eaten by a sparkly vampire, disregard the above and feel free to make fun of me for the rest of my life.
That just about does it. Please respect my wishes...or I will come back more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
20 November 2009
Girlfriend of the Week
Since Thanksgiving is almost upon us, I figured this GOTW should go out to the special lady who saved the pilgrims. Pocahontas. This is a photo of her before she retired to Moldavia.
For those of you who know nothing of history, Pocahontas was a female warrior, who defeated the British and Chinese forces at the Battle of Liberty Island, way back in 1821. Without her we would not have many of the things we have today, such as television or crack.
So be thankful that this busty beauty decided to kick some major ass that late summer day, or we would all be speaking a blend of Chinese and English. She helped usher in an age of Americanism.
For those of you who know nothing of history, Pocahontas was a female warrior, who defeated the British and Chinese forces at the Battle of Liberty Island, way back in 1821. Without her we would not have many of the things we have today, such as television or crack.
So be thankful that this busty beauty decided to kick some major ass that late summer day, or we would all be speaking a blend of Chinese and English. She helped usher in an age of Americanism.
19 November 2009
Fantasy Football Stupidity
I am terrible at fantasy football. I have no problem admitting it. I am good at fantasy baseball, in fact I know that going in each year, I have a very good chance of winning our league. That is not me being cocky, I just know my abilities. I would say that Gideon, Offord, Ryan, and I are all pretty equal at baseball (Ryan will say that he is better than us, because Ryan has a complex about being the best at everything).
When it comes to fantasy football though, I am pretty clueless on who to start each week. I try to look at match ups, but unless you are watching game film, how can you figure out which players will do well? Plus, pro football has crazy things happen all the time. The Chiefs could come out this week and blow the Steelers out of the water, it would shock, but it would not be unprecedented. Sorry, I am rambling.
Last week I decided to sit Steve Smith, mainly because he has not really produced. I lost to Ryan by six points. Smith had 15. Reggie Bush also had a bunch of points, but I had him benched as well.
I guess next year I will have to be better prepared (especially if I am in this league again, which I would like to be).
When it comes to fantasy football though, I am pretty clueless on who to start each week. I try to look at match ups, but unless you are watching game film, how can you figure out which players will do well? Plus, pro football has crazy things happen all the time. The Chiefs could come out this week and blow the Steelers out of the water, it would shock, but it would not be unprecedented. Sorry, I am rambling.
Last week I decided to sit Steve Smith, mainly because he has not really produced. I lost to Ryan by six points. Smith had 15. Reggie Bush also had a bunch of points, but I had him benched as well.
I guess next year I will have to be better prepared (especially if I am in this league again, which I would like to be).
DVR Madness
Who doesn't love DVR? I mean, how great is it to come home and know that your favorite shows are waiting for you, and you can watch them without commercials. I know I sure love it. I have tried watching shows online, but they still have commercials, which annoy me.
Currently I record the following shows: House, Lie to Me, V, Sons of Anarchy, The League, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Flashforward, White Collar, and Supernatural. For some unknown reason though, my DVR decided not to record V this week, so I will have to watch it online this weekend (that is when ABC puts up the new episode).
I have one complaint about DVR though, well actually about the way networks edit shows. They need to help us DVR-folks out. When you are fast forwarding through commercials, they need to have something to indicate the show is coming back on. For example, the FX shows bring up the TV Rating screen. White Collar (and the other USA shows) usually start with a scene of the city and some music (Burn Notice or Royal Pains usually does a shot of the beach).
Sadly House and Lie to Me do not have that kind of cool cut screen and I usually fast forward past something and then have to rewind. I cannot be wasting valuable seconds doing this, I am a busy man. House might be the most frustrating, they will show a shot of the hospital, yet House will be talking.
So, for all you network execs out there reading this (I think that could be my largest demographic), please figure out a way to accommodate my life.
Currently I record the following shows: House, Lie to Me, V, Sons of Anarchy, The League, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Flashforward, White Collar, and Supernatural. For some unknown reason though, my DVR decided not to record V this week, so I will have to watch it online this weekend (that is when ABC puts up the new episode).
I have one complaint about DVR though, well actually about the way networks edit shows. They need to help us DVR-folks out. When you are fast forwarding through commercials, they need to have something to indicate the show is coming back on. For example, the FX shows bring up the TV Rating screen. White Collar (and the other USA shows) usually start with a scene of the city and some music (Burn Notice or Royal Pains usually does a shot of the beach).
Sadly House and Lie to Me do not have that kind of cool cut screen and I usually fast forward past something and then have to rewind. I cannot be wasting valuable seconds doing this, I am a busy man. House might be the most frustrating, they will show a shot of the hospital, yet House will be talking.
So, for all you network execs out there reading this (I think that could be my largest demographic), please figure out a way to accommodate my life.
17 November 2009
Sex Tails, A Woo Hoo
I was thinking about how many of the times I have had relations with a lady (meaning: sex with a whore)were the result of either too much alcohol or umm, well usually just the alcohol. This usually leads to some funny stories, so that leads me to think that maybe I could share a few of them every once in awhile.
I first started working at the Place that Shall Not Be Named in the summer '02. During the winter of that year they hired a girl, we shall call her Little Princess (LP for short). She was pretty hot, I will not lie, unfortunately she was a bitch, hence the name Little Princess.
At first I tried to be nice to her, in fact I would hang out with her, watch movies, blah blah blah. Sadly that did not seem to work. So I stopped talking to her, mostly because I was done trying and also because I got the sense that she might be a whore. Do not get me wrong, I do not judge girls if they are whores, but that does not mean I will spend a lot of time trying to get some from them.
At some point she gets evicted from her apartment and is at work telling the manager how she has no place to stay, she is crying. The manager says "well Joshy, you live pretty close, why doesn't she stay with you?" Just what I wanted, a freeloader. So, I let her stay with me. And thus begins the destruction of Little Princess.
She sleeps on the couch, and she is such a bitch to my roommates. She yells at Justin one morning for making too much noise. He threatens her with "bitch, I will throw you off the balcony." He gets even though by offering me a ride to work one day because it is snowing, she says "can you guys wait five minutes for me?" Justin responds "nope." And we left, and she walked to work.
So, one very cold night, she is out at the bar, I am at home doing something super cool (sitting in my room, watching Lord of the Rings, and organizing my comics). She comes back to the apartment, barges in my room and starts crying about how some guy was mean to her at the bar. I tell her to shut up, which causes her to start crying. She does not understand why I am so mean to her and why I don't think she is pretty. You can see where this is going right? Do I have to spell it out? Preying on a girl when her self-esteem is lowest...classy.
Do not fear though, after that I allowed her to continue sleeping in my bed and usually had sex with her each night. I was mainly afraid that Justin was going to really toss her off the balcony. She would try to cuddle with me after sex and I would cringe away from her, which I think caused her to turn around and sob herself to sleep.
She eventually got tired of being treated like crap by me and my roommates. If she was sleeping, we would make as much noise as possible. I mean, dickhead things, like banging pots and pans together. Or, watching episodes of Simpsons and laughing obnoxiously loud. She moved back to Altoona, and eventually went to jail for something. Who knows what she is up to nowadays.
This taught me a valuable lesson though, girls with low self-esteem are much easier to bang. If a girl has high self-esteem, just tear it down and she will be begging for a little action. And people wonder why I have the second-in-command seat reserved in Hell.
I first started working at the Place that Shall Not Be Named in the summer '02. During the winter of that year they hired a girl, we shall call her Little Princess (LP for short). She was pretty hot, I will not lie, unfortunately she was a bitch, hence the name Little Princess.
At first I tried to be nice to her, in fact I would hang out with her, watch movies, blah blah blah. Sadly that did not seem to work. So I stopped talking to her, mostly because I was done trying and also because I got the sense that she might be a whore. Do not get me wrong, I do not judge girls if they are whores, but that does not mean I will spend a lot of time trying to get some from them.
At some point she gets evicted from her apartment and is at work telling the manager how she has no place to stay, she is crying. The manager says "well Joshy, you live pretty close, why doesn't she stay with you?" Just what I wanted, a freeloader. So, I let her stay with me. And thus begins the destruction of Little Princess.
She sleeps on the couch, and she is such a bitch to my roommates. She yells at Justin one morning for making too much noise. He threatens her with "bitch, I will throw you off the balcony." He gets even though by offering me a ride to work one day because it is snowing, she says "can you guys wait five minutes for me?" Justin responds "nope." And we left, and she walked to work.
So, one very cold night, she is out at the bar, I am at home doing something super cool (sitting in my room, watching Lord of the Rings, and organizing my comics). She comes back to the apartment, barges in my room and starts crying about how some guy was mean to her at the bar. I tell her to shut up, which causes her to start crying. She does not understand why I am so mean to her and why I don't think she is pretty. You can see where this is going right? Do I have to spell it out? Preying on a girl when her self-esteem is lowest...classy.
Do not fear though, after that I allowed her to continue sleeping in my bed and usually had sex with her each night. I was mainly afraid that Justin was going to really toss her off the balcony. She would try to cuddle with me after sex and I would cringe away from her, which I think caused her to turn around and sob herself to sleep.
She eventually got tired of being treated like crap by me and my roommates. If she was sleeping, we would make as much noise as possible. I mean, dickhead things, like banging pots and pans together. Or, watching episodes of Simpsons and laughing obnoxiously loud. She moved back to Altoona, and eventually went to jail for something. Who knows what she is up to nowadays.
This taught me a valuable lesson though, girls with low self-esteem are much easier to bang. If a girl has high self-esteem, just tear it down and she will be begging for a little action. And people wonder why I have the second-in-command seat reserved in Hell.
13 November 2009
Girlfriend of the Week
Continuing with the theme of hot girls from TV shows I watch, this weeks GOTW belongs to Maggie Siff, who plays Jax' girlfriend Tara on Sons of Anarchy.
Apparently she was on Mad Men, but since I have watched an episode this is pretty much the first I have ever seen her in anything.
12 November 2009
Drunken Nights
I know most of you have been wondering why I have not posted anything about Halloween or the Ohio State game. Well the truth is, I got really drunk. I will do my best to tell the stories of each night.
Halloween
For about a week, Kacie was bugging me to go to this party on Gill Street instead of going out to the bars. I finally relented and said that I would go. I asked Revan if he wanted to go and he said sure, I then informed him he needed a costume, not his shirt that says "this is my costume."
He picks me up and we head over to State, he is dressed as Elmo and I am dressed as a priest. Insert your child molestation jokes here. We decide to go to Zeno's before heading to this party, shoot a few games of pool, drink some beers (they had Spaten Oktoberfest, mmmm), and then walk to the party. Immediately I realize that having Elmo around is going to be quite interesting.
We walk up to the party and cannot find Kacie, nor can we find anything to drink. We meander around for about ten minutes until we run into the person that makes every party suck: Raj! He talks to us for a few minutes, at which point my brain begins to throb, and I tell Elmo that we need to go find some booze or I might have a stroke.
We head back downtown, to the bar 797 (it used to be Sportscafe). We get a few drinks and chill there for the rest of the night. Nothing insane happened, I ran into some bartenders from Champs, the one was really trashed. The coolest thing about the evening was watching Elmo hit on girls.
The Ohio State Game
The game sucked. Penn State played like shit. Now that we got that outta the way, let me tell you about my day.
I met my brother (his name is Adam for those of you who might be slightly retarded), his girlfriend (Lora, who I had never met before this day), Joe, Jarrod, and Chase at the Lion's Den. They were all pretty well tore up, so I had to start drinking fast to help catch up.
We went over to Baby's to eat, Kacie joined us at that point, and then went to Bar Bleu to finish watching the game. Once we realized it was over, we went back to Philipsburg to drink at the Pub.
Time is like a river, it flows in one direction. Unfortunately after copious amounts of alcohol, my time flow started to hit some choppy water and maybe a few waterfalls. I remember playing pool and darts with my brother. I remember talking to my cousin Tim. I also remember walking home with Chase. I remember the halfway point and explaining to Chase that my brother's place is up that street. I have not heard anything about a missing person, so I am assuming Chase made it home alive.
I can tell you that I felt like death the next day. I seriously wanted someone to put me out of my misery. I think I was still hungover when I went to work Monday.
Unfortunately, I never have pictures from these kind of events, so I just put up the first "drunken elmo" picture I could steal from someone, and one of Adam and Lora. It's basically the same as being there!
Halloween
For about a week, Kacie was bugging me to go to this party on Gill Street instead of going out to the bars. I finally relented and said that I would go. I asked Revan if he wanted to go and he said sure, I then informed him he needed a costume, not his shirt that says "this is my costume."
He picks me up and we head over to State, he is dressed as Elmo and I am dressed as a priest. Insert your child molestation jokes here. We decide to go to Zeno's before heading to this party, shoot a few games of pool, drink some beers (they had Spaten Oktoberfest, mmmm), and then walk to the party. Immediately I realize that having Elmo around is going to be quite interesting.
We walk up to the party and cannot find Kacie, nor can we find anything to drink. We meander around for about ten minutes until we run into the person that makes every party suck: Raj! He talks to us for a few minutes, at which point my brain begins to throb, and I tell Elmo that we need to go find some booze or I might have a stroke.
We head back downtown, to the bar 797 (it used to be Sportscafe). We get a few drinks and chill there for the rest of the night. Nothing insane happened, I ran into some bartenders from Champs, the one was really trashed. The coolest thing about the evening was watching Elmo hit on girls.
The Ohio State Game
The game sucked. Penn State played like shit. Now that we got that outta the way, let me tell you about my day.
I met my brother (his name is Adam for those of you who might be slightly retarded), his girlfriend (Lora, who I had never met before this day), Joe, Jarrod, and Chase at the Lion's Den. They were all pretty well tore up, so I had to start drinking fast to help catch up.
We went over to Baby's to eat, Kacie joined us at that point, and then went to Bar Bleu to finish watching the game. Once we realized it was over, we went back to Philipsburg to drink at the Pub.
Time is like a river, it flows in one direction. Unfortunately after copious amounts of alcohol, my time flow started to hit some choppy water and maybe a few waterfalls. I remember playing pool and darts with my brother. I remember talking to my cousin Tim. I also remember walking home with Chase. I remember the halfway point and explaining to Chase that my brother's place is up that street. I have not heard anything about a missing person, so I am assuming Chase made it home alive.
I can tell you that I felt like death the next day. I seriously wanted someone to put me out of my misery. I think I was still hungover when I went to work Monday.
Unfortunately, I never have pictures from these kind of events, so I just put up the first "drunken elmo" picture I could steal from someone, and one of Adam and Lora. It's basically the same as being there!
10 November 2009
V: Episode 102
Damn, this show has a bunch of hot chicks. Also, did it seem like there was a commercial break every four minutes, especially towards the last twenty minutes?
I enjoy the show, but I have to ask a question: where does it go? I mean, it is obviously not going to be much of a revelation that the visitors are bad and trying to take over the planet. Now we know that there must be traitors living here who could maybe help us out.
Plus, is this going to be a miniseries or a new on-going? As a new on-going, it could be interesting to see how the visitors make us trust them and then start to destroy us. Also, it would be fun to see the resistance build up, but if it is another miniseries, well it just will not have the full effect.
Anyways, it's great to see Juliet back on TV, so I will tune in each week.
Armageddon's Children
Last night I finished reading Armageddon's Children by Terry Brooks. It was an awesome book, and it has definitely sparked my interest in his Word/Void series. For those of you unaware, this new series bridges the gap between Word/Void and the Shannara books.
I have a question for Brooks' fans out there: when you were reading this, what was the first point you realized it all tied together? The book's flap says that it is a brand new series, but then very quickly in the book we meet a Knight of the Word, but still for awhile it just seems to be a continuation of that series and nothing to do with Shannara, until you hit a chapter that starts by discussing the Elves of Cintra and how they guard the Ellcrys tree (which was the subject of the second Shannara book).
I am guessing long time fans would have seen it coming, I remember at one point the King of the Silver River saying something about being a guardian of the Word (I cannot remember which Shannara book that came from though). Just something interesting I was thinking about...
Anyways, I love how well Brooks conceals who the gypsy morph. At any point he leads you to believe it could be almost any of the Ghosts. Early on it leads toward Hawk, but then we see Candle's sense of prophecy. Later, when Sparrow stands up to the mutant centipede, you get a sense that maybe she is the daughter of Nest Freemark.
I know this is going to annoy some of you, but prepare for a bunch of book reviews in the next few days/weeks. I joined Doubleday Book Club, and picked up five books for like $10. These are the titles I will be reading: Armageddon's Children, Elves of Cintra, A Game of Thrones, Clash of Kings, and Dragon Harper (although, I meant to order the original books and not the new one, so this one might sit on the shelf awhile). There are no new movies out that I really want to see, so I am just going to read, a lot.
07 November 2009
06 November 2009
Girlfriend of the Week
This week's GOTW goes out to Morena Baccarin. You may remember her from Firefly or from the new version of V on ABC (which I watched and thought was pretty damn good).
When Whedon was attached to Wonder Woman, she was brought up a few times as playing the title character. I would have absolutely no problem with that, she is hot and could tie me up with a magic lasso any time. She is also pretty sexy as the leader of the Visitors. If only alien reptile girls looked like that...
Troy: Shield of Thunder
It took awhile for me to get to this book, and not because I was uninterested or anything. Every time I went to a Barnes & Noble, they would be sold out of the second book. Which is why I ended up rereading the Dark Tower series. Fortunately, the State College B&N finally got a copy of Shield of Thunder and I could continue David Gemmell's story of Troy.
As everyone told me, the series gets much better. The first book was good, but this one was great. The story revolves mainly around Banokles and Kalliades, two Mykene warriors we met in the first book towards the end. They have been branded outlaws after the failed attack on Troy.
The majority of the book sets up the reason for the gigantic war of Troy. Without going into too much detail, let me just say that it is a very cool set up. I made some predictions after the last post and most of them were a little off-base.
-Obviously Halysia's baby does not grow up to be Achilles. My favorite moment of the book is the boxing match between Achilles and Hektor. Gemmell does an awesome job of making Achilles unlikeable and Hektor so damn perfect. I also love how everyone seems to think Hektor is such a great guy, but then when he goes into battle he is like a deadly lion.
-It is pretty obvious that Gershom is Moses. The promise to the old guy who cured Helikaon from his stab wounds will be about leading some desert folks out of Egypt. Also, the young assistant to the old guy, his name is Yeshua (Hebrew version of Joshua, the chief lieutenant of Moses) or maybe the Prophet is Moses, but it cannot be coincidence that Ahmose is a prince of Egypt who will go with the desert people, who follow One God...it all makes sense in my head.
-The Xander storyline did not resolve, nor did the girl from the first book, something tells me they will or this could be the unfortunate plot line that is forgotten since Gemmell died during the writing of the third book. I wonder if it was meant as a trilogy, or if he was going to go further...I guess we will never know.
-Interesting thing about Hektor's son, Astyanax. His name in Greek means high king of the city. In some versions of the myth, he is killed by Achilles' son (Neoptolemus). Neoptolemus tosses the kid off the walls. I had one teacher say that it was a Greek pun, "high king" "thrown off a wall". I guess it was one of the ways an orator would remember his death...just something to ponder. Thank you Professor Wheeler at Penn State.
I cannot wait to read the final book and see how everything plays out.
05 November 2009
The World Series
Let me first say congratulations the New York Yankees for winning the World Series. Second, allow me to congratulate the Philadelphia Phillies fans for becoming the new Red Sox fans. It was about thirty seconds after the game ended and facebook status updates started popping up saying things like this: "The Yankees bought themselves another title!"
Yes, of course they did. They have the money, therefore they get to spend it on whichever players they want. Is it fair to the small market teams? Probably not, but it is the system we have, and until something changes, why fault them for doing this? Also, if you are a Phillies (or Red Sox) fan, do not cry about them spending money.
Where did the Phillies rank in payroll? Were they down in the bottom with the Pirates and Marlins? Nope, not even close, they were seventh (only a mere $705,000 from the sixth place Angels--and $10,000,000 ahead of the eighth place Astros). The beloved underdogs of the east, Red Sox, were fourth.
If the Phillies decide to go out and spend another $100 million in the off-season, will Phillies fans be up in arms about this? Probably not. Hell, if Bill Gates buys the Pirates and says he wants to spend $300 million a year to win championships, I'll orgasm onto my Lucky Charms and eat it up. I just threw up a little thinking about that...not the winning part, eating my own jizz.
Baseball season is officially over, and I am sad now (unfortunately for the Pirates it ended back in June). Football and hockey are great, March Madness is fun for the gambling, but nothing is as exciting as baseball season...
Yes, of course they did. They have the money, therefore they get to spend it on whichever players they want. Is it fair to the small market teams? Probably not, but it is the system we have, and until something changes, why fault them for doing this? Also, if you are a Phillies (or Red Sox) fan, do not cry about them spending money.
Where did the Phillies rank in payroll? Were they down in the bottom with the Pirates and Marlins? Nope, not even close, they were seventh (only a mere $705,000 from the sixth place Angels--and $10,000,000 ahead of the eighth place Astros). The beloved underdogs of the east, Red Sox, were fourth.
If the Phillies decide to go out and spend another $100 million in the off-season, will Phillies fans be up in arms about this? Probably not. Hell, if Bill Gates buys the Pirates and says he wants to spend $300 million a year to win championships, I'll orgasm onto my Lucky Charms and eat it up. I just threw up a little thinking about that...not the winning part, eating my own jizz.
Baseball season is officially over, and I am sad now (unfortunately for the Pirates it ended back in June). Football and hockey are great, March Madness is fun for the gambling, but nothing is as exciting as baseball season...
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