Girlfriend of the Week

Josh's mysterious new girlfriend here.  i am hijacking the blog for a minute to tell you all about how much i am sick of gotw.  there have been like a 100 girls already.  well i am here to say that this weeks gotw botw is sidney crosby!  thats right, can you think of sexier man?

oh and did i mention that i am the best girlfriend ever?  ask josh sometime what i got him for his birthday.  tickets to the pens opening game.  yes you should be jealous and josh isnt going to say crap about me posting pictures of the sexiest man alive.

well i am going to leave you with a few more pictures of 87.  hopefully josh will smarten up and make me his gotw soon!

RIP Greg Giraldo

Jokes.com
Greg Giraldo - 9/11 Bachelorettes
comedians.comedycentral.com
Greg Giraldo Stand-Up Greg Giraldo Jokes Hasselhoff Roast Videos

I always thought Greg Giraldo was freakin' hilarious.  A damn shame he had to overdose.  Yet Larry the Cable Guy is still going strong.

Live From Barnes and Noble!

Hey everyone, how are you folks today?  I am in Pittsburgh (to be a bit more precise, I am at the Barnes and Noble in Homestead, the Waterfront for those who have no clue).  I am sitting here, drinking a pumpkin latte (delicious) and basically killing time.  I figured I would bore you with the details of my last few days.

I decided to buy a new television on Monday.  I skipped out on going to Best Buy and followed my brother's lead and went to Wal-Mart.  I debated heavily between the 47" Vizio LCD and the 42" Vizio LED.  The second one was a little bit more expensive, but nothing ridiculous.  I looked at both for a good twenty minutes and then finally decided on the 47" (who says size doesn't matter?).

The problem with being spontaneous is that you do not think about things like "how will I get this home?"  At first I was afraid that it would not fit into the Yaris.  Fortunately, after sliding the seats all the way up, it just fit.  Sadly, I had to drive home with my knees in my chest and my head over the steering wheel.

I set it up and figured while it was scanning for channels that I might as well call Comcast and get the HD set up.  It turns out that I was already set to go.  I turned to a HD channel and sure enough, glorious picture quality.  I spent the majority of the day just watching baseball/football highlights. 

I am hoping to get a new TV stand soon.  The old one is just too high and old.  And ugly.  I think I want to rearrange my living room.  Maybe put the TV in the corner and angle everything.  What do you guys think?  You probably do not care, but whatever.  Since I have the laptop, I might as well get rid of the desk and chair.  Maybe get a recliner at some point in my life.  Apparently when you turn 30 you start thinking about interior decorating.  Weird.

Yesterday, my girlfriend and I went to the Robinson Mall.  I bought some clothes.  Actually I bought three shirts and a pair of jeans, and a jacket and shoes.  The jeans and dress shirt came from Banana Republic.  I bought two waffle shirts from Express and a fleece jacket from Eddie Bauer.  For those of you who know me, my black/gray Diesel shoes are about to fall apart.  So I bought a pair of Steve Madden shoes, they are also black and gray.  I got them at Macy's for like $45 less than the same pair at Journey's.  Sweet deal.

We then went to dinner at Bahama Breeze and she told me about my birthday present:  tickets to the Pen's home opener!  I have never been to a Pen's game, in fact the only hockey games I have ever been to were intramural games to watch my friend Jackson play.  Needless to say, I am excited.

Side note:  I do not watch reality television, but did anyone else see this promo during football on Sunday?  How the hell did she survive a watermelon to the face like that?

GIFSoup

Awesome!

Anyways, where was I?  Oh yes, my girlfriend.  Right.  Later we went out to Bar Louie's at the Waterfront.  We drank and had a great time.  And this leads me back to here.  She has my car, so I am spending the day at Barnes and Noble while she does a work thing.  No big deal.  Oh, what is that?  Yes, I have a girlfriend now.  You didn't know that?  My bad. Unfortunately, I cannot give many details about her because of some things pertaining to That Place That Shall Not Be Named.  Needless to say, I am quite happy.  Smitten is a good way to describe it.

Do you guys remember this post?  I hope so, it was only a month ago.  Since then I decided to join a gym with a guy I work with, Brent.  I have not lost weight, but I do look better and I feel much better.  The first couple days I was extremely sore.  Actually, I was sore because I kept trying to do what I could when I used to lift at Penn State.
I know I promised not to use that picture again, but I could not resist.  You can actually see that I was in decent shape, albeit a little bit scrawny and still very hairy.  I am not there yet, but now I actually have some bulk to me, and I might be able put on some muscle.

It would be nice to have some musculature and not look a thirteen year old Thai sex slave.  Ugh, I just remembered my childhood.  We will not talk about what I did when I lived in Bangladesh.  Wow, this latte is making me very hyper.  Deal with it people.

Just a quick reminder for all you  folks out there:  Saturday I turn 30.  As of now, all I know is this: (can you use two colons in one sentence?  I am not sure, but I am going to do it!  I am grammatical rebel!)  Penn State plays Iowa at 8:00 and my brother and his girlfriend want to take me out.  I am thinking the Pub at some point.  Maybe go to my mom's for a bit.  Anyone can come.  I encourage it.  I beg you.  I implore you.  I explode with excitement.  Okay, I think that is enough.

I realize this picture from my phone is terrible, but I circled what I want you to notice.

Those are not one, but two magazines devoted to Hi-Fi.  The fascinating world of speakers and music players.  Oh shit, never mind, as I lean back, I can see about six more magazines devoted to this subject.  Who subscribes to this stuff?  Sorry if I offended anyone.

The more I think about it though, why are there still specialty magazines?  If you are interested in that sort of stuff, why not just use the internet?  I am sure there are plenty of blogs and reviews written about different speakers.

This lady just came up to the counter and told the guy that she wants a regular Pepsi, not diet.  Good thing she specified.  I want to get a Mountain Dew and say "I want a Mountain Dew, not a Pepsi."  I wonder if the guy will get it?

People say idiotic shit all the time at work.  At least once a day I get someone to ask me if we have boxes for the pies.  My usual smartass response is:  Nope, you have to carry it around like that.  People also love to get change and there are very few occasion where I cannot figure out what they want.  For example:  if someone hands me a twenty, I usually give them a ten, a five, and five ones.  If they are just coming in, I might ask if they want quarters for the paper.  I love when people have to specify.  Can I get change for this ten?  A five and five ones.  No shit?  I was going to give you a roll of nickels, three ones, eight quarters, twenty dimes, and a gold dollar piece.  That would really mess with them.

I think I am going to finish up here and walk over to the movie theater.  I have no clue what I will watch, something good though.  Haha, what an idiotic statement.  I plan on going over and watching a bad movie.  I need to lay off the caffeine.

I have only had this laptop for like five months and I finally figured out how to take a picture with the webcam.  Oh yeah, me smart!  Have a great day folks.

Television Stuff

I know I have not written about TV shows in two weeks, but I figured this week would be a good one.  Where shall I start?

The Event
I have no idea if I want to watch this show or not.  Are the people aliens or something?  Do I actually care?  The jumping around got on my nerves.  Flashbacks worked for Lost, but just bouncing around with characters is not very interesting.

At least Sarah Roemer is really hot.  Maybe we can just watch her in a bikini every week.  Better than nothing, right?

House
The season premiere of House was pretty good.  It picked up right where the finale left off.  House and Cuddy have sex.  He starts to over-analyze things, but by the end of the episode he says he loves her.  Awe.

It was funny watching his team try to solve the neurosurgeon problem.  Did Thirteen actually leave the team?  Or will she be back?  Is this one of those things that Olivia Wilde realizes she is super-hot and needs to be doing movies (hopefully porn).

Sons of Anarchy
Gemma and Tara accidentally kill Officer Ramirez (I have no idea what the caregivers name was, but she played Ramirez in the Dark Knight).  Tig calls a cleaner and it turns out to be Stephen King!  How awesome was that?

Jax and the club prepare to head up to Canada.  They set up a party with the Asians, Opie has his girlfriend bring some of her porn friends down, but Opie gets pissed when he sees her with one of the guys (she volunteered to help Jax).  A brawl ensues.

Cherry learns that Half-Sack is dead (she was living in Ireland with the lady who has Abel).  The Sons of Anarchy Belfast crew stop by her place and ask if she knows anything.  She says no, but she wants Cherry to get in touch with Gemma.  I guess she was going to help give them Abel.  Or maybe not, it seems like she was in love with John Teller.

Supernatural
The season premiere was pretty good.  It turns out that not only did Sam come back, but also Samuel (the Winchester's grandfather).  A couple of djinn attack Dean and that is how he learns about Sam being alive.  They reunite for a battle against the djinn. Naturally they win, but in the end Dean decides to stay with Lisa and Ben.  Good for him.  It will not last.

The best thing though is that the supernaturals are acting different.  Werewolves out during half-moons, nocturnal creatures in the daylight, and all knew creatures.  Seems like it could be pretty fun.  Also, Samuel and his boys seem to be doing something shady, why did they capture the female djinn?  She was pretty hot too.  Hope she turns up soon.
 Mad Men
Last week Mrs. Blankenship died.  Roger naturally makes this statement:  “She died like she lived, surrounded by the people she answered phones for.”  And then Bert gives this great line:  “She was born in 1898 in a barn. She died on the 37^th floor of a skyscraper. She was an astronaut.”

Roger and Joan had sex after being mugged.  It was creepy and sexy at the same time.  It turns out that Faye is not a child psychologist and that Sally is constantly creepy.

This week Lane decided to be absolutely weird by taking his dad and Don to the Playboy Club to meet his girlfriend.  Roger apparently knocked up Joan and then got a lecture from a doctor.  And Don has the Defense Department looking into his past because of the aviation contract.  Don threatening to leave almost caused Pete to shit his pants.

Don's lies almost cause him to have a heart attack, but Dr. Faye saves him (or listens while he pukes).  Later he tells her the truth about himself.  I think Don may have found his equal.

Why is there a picture of Roger?  Well he learns that Lucky Strike is dropping them.  He realizes how worthless he would be without that account.  He starts calling people in his Rolodex, but finds out that one of his old friends is dead now.   Then at the partner meeting he explodes on Pete for losing the aviation account (Don told him to), he even dropped at F-bomb (they bleeped him out).  He did not tell anyone though.

The show ends with Don getting the Beatles tickets from his secretary Megan after Dr. Faye leaves.  He stares at her for a second and you can tell that he wonders if he should go for Faye or maybe after Megan.  Megan was good with Sally and did everything she could to make up for the mistake she made (she did not make a mistake, but Don treated her like she did).  Very interesting. 

Boardwalk Empire
I think this show is going to be great.  Sometimes it feels like a Coen Brothers movie.  The thing I really love though, is that it is before Mad Men.  It is funny how the country changed from that era to the 60s.  And how things did not change at all.

In the second episode Jimmy gets a blowjob by asking his wife to "do that French thing."  She responds with "oh, you want me to use my mouth?"  Hahaha.  By the 1960s, sweet coeds were going down on partners of ad agencies in the back of taxi cabs, now that is progress!

The ending was pretty great.  It reminded me of Louis CK's joke about the saddest form of sex.  That girl giving the guy a handjob was about as pathetic as it gets.  Only a half dead guy could ruin it.

Penn State Versus Temple

On Saturday I got to go to the Penn State Game with my friend Jason.  Before I get into that, allow me to say that I was pretty exhausted from the night before.

Friday night I went over to Altoona in order to drink with some friends.  I woke up at 8:00 a.m. and came back to Philipsburg, got a shower and went over to the game.

We started tailgating around 11:00 and it was a pretty good time.  Nothing crazy, since we were basically hanging out in the rich people section. 

I discovered that I am actually pretty decent at cornhole.  I rarely get to play because I never get a chance to go out for a tailgate.  Anyways, the first time I ever played was at Ryan's and we played far apart (much like in this picture).  I always enjoy listening to the confusion as people figure out the score.  It amuses me.

The game was at 3:30 and as you can see from the picture above, we sat in the southern end zone.  Apparently this is the rich, white people section (as Jason would say).  No bleacher seats.  Better food.  Ah yes, it is the life.

Penn State started off with Evan Royster running 51 yards and I thought "oh yeah, here we go, another Temple massacre."  That drive ended with a field goal and then Temple decided to score two touchdowns. 

Penn State finally scored a touchdown in the fourth quarter making it 22-13.  It was kind of boring, but still a fun time.  Needless to say, Jason missed much of the second quarter because he was taking a little nap.

I feel they should make the stadium rotate.  That way I would not have gotten burnt on one side of my neck.  Or maybe they would allow your analogue on the north side switch sides each quarter, at least to even things out. 

When I got home from the game I wanted to take a little nap.  Well that nap turned into a coma as I missed all my alarms, all the text messages, and all the phone calls of people wanting me to go out.  I woke up Sunday morning at 8:30.  Another 12 hour sleepfest.  This is why you should always get a good nights sleep.  You do not want to end up passing out from exhaustion.

It was a great day, thanks Jason for giving me a ticket.

Carl's Lock of the Week

Girlfriend of the Week

This weeks GOTW is Madison Scott.  I do not need to explain why.  Download one of her videos and you will understand.

The Black Prism

The Black Prism is the new book by Brent Weeks and it received a good amount of hype from Orbit Books.  It is a very good book and has me excited for the next one in the series.  The series is about magicians called drafters who can create a substance (luxin) out of light.

The story focuses on a few characters, but the most compelling is Gavin Guile (sorry, there will be spoilers from here).  He is the Prism.  The only person who can create any luxin out of all the colors.  He is the most powerful man in the world and we learn early on that he fought a war against his own brother, Dazen. 

Early in the book, we realize that Gavin is a pretty good guy, minus the prisoner he keeps under his castle.  Midway through the book he goes to see the prisoner and we learn that Gavin is not Gavin, he is instead Dazen!  He won the war and the battle with his brother, but realized if he emerged as the winner, people might not follow.  So, he pretended to be his brother, for years.

The more you learn about the two characters, you get the idea that the real Gavin deserved to get shoved into his prison (at first you really want him to escape).  The other really cool thing about this whole thing is that the other main character, Kip.  He is Gavin's son (the real Gavin), yet Dazen (pretending to be Gavin) claims him as his own and treats him like a son (which we learn multiple times that Gavin would not do).  Unfortunately at the end of the book, Kip finds a note from his mother that says Gavin Guile raped her and that the knife she gave him can kill the Prism.  Sadly, Dazen did not rape the woman.  How long until Dazen must tell Kip?

Another cool thing, Kip seems to actually be the next Prism.  He can draft multiple colors (I wonder if it will end up that everyone can draft multiple colors they just do not learn correctly?) and he passes all the tests just like Dazen did.

I also love the problem with the Chromeria being a bunch of jerks who are controlling the drafters.  If Lord Omnichrome is correct, then when people break their halo, maybe they are not as evil as people believe.  It definitely seems like the Chromeria has an agenda (I love that Dazen does not really believe in the god they all worship, even though he is supposed to be the most holy person)...

I think after the next book I will try to do a casting call like I have done before.

Fantasy Baseball Week Twenty-Four

Oh wow!  What an awesome week.  I have never lost before in such a great fashion.  I am not kidding, if this had been the World Series, this was like a game seven, walk off home run type game, not a four game sweep.  Let me show you our (Ryan and me) match up on Sunday:  my team is Gorkys is God.

After Sunday:

I almost caught him on AVG and OBP, but it came down to David Aardsma picking up a save and none of my guys even going in to pitch.  I knew all season that my team was better than fifth place (I think seventh place at one point) and this confirmed it for me.  However, I just want to let Ryan know that this was the most fun I have had all season.  I came home every night from work and the first thing I did was check our score.  The best part was how close it was all week.  Congratulations Ryan, I will be rooting for you against Offord (sorry Offord).

This week I take on Jason.  This is the final week, so it will last two weeks.  Instead of a picture of one of my players, allow me to show you both teams final stats.

The Disappearance of Alice Creed

The other night I was sitting at home, alone and bored, so I decided to watch a movie. I scanned through the OnDemand new movies and did not see anything jump out. I then checked the Now In Theaters section. I saw The Disappearance of Alice Creed, which sounded interesting.  The movie ended up being very good and I would definitely recommend checking it out, especially if you enjoy character driven British films.

The plot revolves around three characters (actually the only three people in the entire film).  Alice Creed is the daughter of some wealthy guy and she is kidnapped by Vic and Danny.  Then we see double crosses and it keeps you on your toes.  After the jump, I will get into some of the things I really liked which will have spoilers.

Carl's Lock

I will try to post these every Sunday since they are hilarious.  So check in every Sunday morning in order to know who to bet on.

Girlfriend of the Week

As most of you have noticed, I am not a huge fan of Tara on True Blood.  I kept hoping that she would stab herself with those scissors at the end of the finale.  Instead, she just cuts off her hair.  Hopefully on her way out of town a dragon will eat her.

Unfortunately, when you actually look at Rutina Wesley, you start to see that she is attractive.  So, in case she reads this blog, I thought I should let her know that I hate her character, not her.

So Sleepy

I slept for almost fifteen hours last night.  That is utterly ridiculous.  Allow me explain the events that led to this.

Monday night I went into work at 10:30 p.m.  I left at 7:00 a.m. and went to the gym for a quick workout.  I will discuss working out at a later date.  Anyways, I had to work at 6:30 a.m. on Wednesday, so there was no point to going to bed.  I stayed up almost all day.  Unfortunately I fell asleep at 6:00 p.m. and woke up at 1:30 a.m., which is a good three and a half hours before I normally get up for first shift.

I packed my stuff.  Oh, sorry, I failed to mention that I needed to be in Greensburg after work for a seminar on Thursday.  Work ends and I head on down to the hotel and grab a bite to eat and some drinks with Mike and a certain special someone.  Needless to say, those drinks turn into a drinkfest and we do not get to bed until about 1:30.  I get up at 7:00 a.m. and proceed to sit at the seminar until 4:00 p.m. with a bit of a hangover.

After the seminar, I meet some folks at a bar (Sharkeys, I guess it is in Greensburg, or Latrobe, whichever) and have a couple there.  Actually I had two beers and we were there for a good two hours.  I then drove home and watched Always Sunny and The League, which were both very funny.  I also watched Terriers and by then it was almost 12:00.  It was 3:00 p.m. when I woke up.

Carl's Lock Last Week

Every Steelers fan should watch this and laugh hysterically.  This is definitely my favorite one in a long time.

Super TV Week

What a kick-ass week of television.  Without delay, here we go.

Sons of Anarchy

The season premiere kicked off with a bang.  Jax is depressed about Abel being kidnapped and it is starting to wear on the club.  At Half-Sack's viewing, Clay tells him to man up.  Either accept that Abel is dead and seek vengeance or believe he is alive and tear the world apart looking for him.  A rival club thinks that SAMCRO is weak and decides to start shooting at them during the the viewing (was it the Mayans?).  Jax looks around and sees people shot and bleeding, he sees officer Hale run down and killed.  He snaps.  He runs after one of the members who the cops apprehend.  He tosses them out of the way and smashes the guys head off the ground, repeatedly.

I am guessing the season will focus on the town's reaction to the shooting.  I bet they will start to turn on SAMCRO.  Also, is Jax going to snap and go on a face smashing spree?  That would be awesome. 

True Blood
The season finale was pretty sweet.  Sookie saves Eric, who sees Godric and decides to save Russell.  They chain a very charred Russell to a stripper pole and everyone goes to sleep.  Russell tries to bargain with Sookie.  It does not work and she ends up dumping Talbot's remains down the garbage disposal.

Eric decides to dump Russell into a hole and cover him with concrete.  They figure that should hold him for about a hundred years (along with the silver chains).  Bill then pushes Eric into the hole as well.  Fortunately, Pam avoids the assassin that is sent after him and rescues Eric.

Bill tries to explain himself to Sookie, but then Eric shows up.  He tells her that Bill allowed her to be attacked and almost beaten to death in order to give her his blood.  He was supposed to give her to the queen.  Bill does not deny this and Sookie kicks them both out.

The show ends with Tara leaving (best part of the episode), Sam maybe shooting his brother, Sookie going to Fairyland (I wonder if that is close to Fairywood?), and Bill squaring off with the queen.  Lafayette's boyfriend is a witch.  Jason's girlfriend gets taken by her brother, who is addicted to V.  Jason breaks up the drug bust and I guess he is in charge of the little meth town...

Mad Men
Don may have a drinking problem.  At least he writes about it.  He also starts swimming.  Does he realize how he is destroying his body?  I liked how he watches everyone taking a drink and when he finally takes one he zones everything out...

-Poor Peggy, she can never do anything right when it comes to Joan.  At least she got rid of Joey.  He was irritating.

From bathtub handjobs to taxicab blowjobs...classy

-Don takes out Bethany (was that her name) and she gives him a blowjob in the car.  She really likes him and I almost feel bad for her.  As she gets out of the car, she says to him that this is to be continued.  Don writes later that she probably practiced that line all day.

-Don then overhears Faye breaking up with a boyfriend and asks her out to dinner.  They go out and on the way home, they kiss in the car.  She asks where Don lives, but he says that he is having her dropped at home because that is all the further he can go at the moment.  Very mature for Don.

-The best thing was watching Betty fall apart when she saw Don on his date.  Also, the way Henry told her to shut up was great.  She is such a terrible human being.

-Speaking of Henry;  he tries to be all badass by running his car into a bunch of boxes labeled Draper.  He then calls Don at work and says that he is planning on buying a boat and needs the garage space and that Don should come get the boxes or he will put them in storage and just deduct it from the rent.  Don says he will stop over.

Don comes over Saturday, and the boxes are stacked on the curb.  You know that Henry felt pretty good about it, but as always Don was a few steps ahead.  He takes the boxes and tosses them in a dumpster.  I bet those boxes were empty, Don just left them in the garage to see how long Henry would tolerate them.

-Don then decides to go against everyone's wishes and he shows up for Gene's birthday party.  Way to go Don, keep sticking it to Henry and Betty.

Louie
The season finale was pretty damn impressive.  I know that many of you do not watch this show, but you really should.  It is so depressingly funny.  And yet at the end of the day, it just comes off as real.  Louie's babysitter forces him to go out because she thinks he is kind of pathetic.  He tries to go out with some black comedians, but they are much cooler than him.  He then leaves and stops at one of the comedy clubs where he does a quick set.  He comes to the realization that he is good at two things:  comedy and raising his kids.  He leaves the club and goes home.  His girls wake up and he takes them for breakfast.  It was actually pretty cool.  As always though, his stand-up is just hilarious.  Just watch the show.

Fantasy Baseball Week Twenty-Three

I made it through the first round of the playoffs.  I beat HVS 8-4.  My team played remarkably well.  In fact, if they play like this next week, I feel very confident.  That being said, I take on Ryan, my team will need to play this good or better to beat him.  As much as I bust on Ryan, allow me to give him credit for being the best during the regular season.

So many of my guys had huge weeks, but Troy Tulowitzki had a monster week.  9 Runs, 6 HRs, 11 RBIs, and a .370 AVE.  I had other players with higher averages, but no one came close to those kind of numbers.  Thank you Troy.  Keep up the good hitting.

My pitching was also pretty ridiculous.  Except for Garcia, he pretty much sucked a donkey dong.  Dan Haren and Colby Lewis were pretty much untouchable.  I think the best though comes from Neftali Feliz, 2 saves and 7 Ks, 0.00 ERA, and a 0.50 WHIP.  Pretty damn good.

Great Video

Enjoy it suckas...

The Dark Tower TV/Movie

I recently heard that Ron Howard will be directing the first movie and first season of the Dark Tower.  Apparently they want to do a trilogy of movies and also a television series.  Remember how I talked about this before?  Well I am going to discuss it some more.

I do not know how I feel about Ron Howard involved and I wonder if J.J. Abrams is still involved.  Fortunately, all these people seem to be huge fans.  From what it sounds like, NBC will be doing the show.  That could be bad, Heroes is a good example of the quality of programming on NBC. 

I think a good idea would be to tell the story through Jake's eyes.  That way the audience can grow with Jake and always see Roland as the mysterious character that he is.  How could the movies be split up?  I think the first movie has to be The Gunslinger.  We meet Roland, Jake, and the Man in Black.  I think every episode should start with the great line "The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed."

The first movie would end with Roland waking up on the beach and hearing the sound of the lobstrosity: dodda-chock.  Then, the first season becomes The Drawing of the Three.  You end the season with Jake waking up in his bed and thinking that he died.

The second season would then be about Jake coming through.  I want to say that the part where the house is trying to eat Jake, is one of the scariest scenes in a book.  My heart was racing the first time I read it.  The season ends with Jake being taken by Gasher.

Start the second movie, Roland and Oy pursue Jake and Gasher.  Then they encounter Blaine.  That should be two-thirds of the movie.  The last third would be the walk towards the Emerald City.  The second movie would end with the showdown with the Man in Black, who flees after Roland pulls the Ruger on him.  The ka-tet would sit down and decide to palaver.

That is what the third season of the show would be about.  Roland's youth and his time in Mejis/Hambry.  This does not need to take up the entire season.  The last few episodes would focus on the ka-tet making their way to the Calla.

The fourth season would be the entire Wolves of the Calla story.  Plenty of time travel and lots of set changes.  This would be such a difficult thing to film.  The show would need a massive budget.  Or does it?  I bet you could film a good portion of this in California.  Southern parts for the Calla, then head north to make it seem like Maine...

This is where I have problems.  Should they do a fifth season and then the third movie or the other way around?  Do you do the final movie without Eddie and Jake?  Are they dead by now?  Such a tough decision.  Anyways, if any TV/movie execs are reading this, I am willing to be part of the team.

Girlfriend of the Week

This week's GOTW goes out to Kaitlin Olson, in anticipation of the premiere of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. 

I just started watching season three (I have watched one, two, and five) and I gotta admit (to steal a line from a Mugshots regular) Kaitlin Olson is pretty hot.  The funny thing is that they always make fun of her on the show for being unattractive.

She is a pretty good comedic actress, which is rare nowadays.  Hot and funny?  You never find girls like that out there.

Anyways, this show is pretty awesome.  Thank you Adam for finally making me watch it.  This is by far one of the funniest things out there.

Best Buy Adventure

My brother wanted to buy a flat-screen TV and he asked me to go with him and his friend, Joe, to Best Buy, along with his friend Joe.  I have almost always had positive experiences at Best Buy (except with the service plan), but today was a pretty amusing trip.

Adam narrowed it down to three TVs.  Normally if you go over to buy a DVD, at least three service people attack you asking if you need any help.  My usual response is "nope, just hear to shoplift." Just kidding, I never say that, but Adam made the better comment "nope, I understand alphabetical order"  and he would definitely call me out if I tried to steal that one.

We see a worker and ask him for any insight into which is the better TV.  He says "oh, I know nothing about TVs man, you need someone from Home Theater."  He then tells us he will send someone over.  Unfortunately, no one comes over.  Adam goes to the bathroom, with the instruction to me and Joe to find someone.  I stop a guy and explain that we need help.  He says that any employee can help us out.  I laugh at that and respond with "not true! we already found one guy who couldn't help."

Adam decides on getting the LG 46" blah blah blah.  He wants to pay $400 in cash and then finance the rest.  Well it turns out they do not have any in stock.  He can still pay for it and they should get some in next week and if he buys it now he can get it for the sale price.  Good deal.

After a good bit of entering information into a computer, Adam is told he has to go up front to fill out the paperwork for the Best Buy Credit Card.  The guy up there tells him that almost everyone gets approved instantly.  Unfortunately, Adam is one of the one percent who does not. 

He will need to speak with an actual human to answer a few questions.  But, the guy explains that he can still pay part cash and then put the rest on the card when it becomes approved.  So we go back to the first guy and he has no idea what the other guy is talking about.  Actually, if Adam wants, he can pay cash and then when he gets approved he can slide some of it over and finance that portion.  If you have enough cash to buy the TV, why would you want to finance any of it?  Actually, he has enough to buy the TV, but he wants to make sure he has enough leftover until next payday. 

We leave pretty disappointed.  I have no clue why I was disappointed.  I was excited because I plan on buying a new TV pretty soon and figured I could get my research out of the way now.  We decide to stop at Wal-Mart just to see what they have. 

They have the same TVs as Best Buy, yet they are cheaper.  A worker, who I shall call Lurch, comes over and Adam explains what he wants.  He decides on the 47" Vizio and he says that he wants to finance part of it.  Lurch grabs a giant cart and tosses the TV on it.  He is quite confident in the approval process. 

It turns out that he screwed up the financing and had Adam sign up for a $300 Wal-Mart card, which was not a real big deal to Adam, he figures he will have it paid off in less than a month.  We were at Best Buy for about an hour and a half, we were at Wal-Mart for thirty minutes. 

I just want to point out the difference between Adam and I.  He had a set price he wanted to spend and he did not go over it.  Me?  I would have put $400 down on a 55" and tried to finance the rest.  Or I would have kept adding stuff, like surround sound and a PS3...I guess my brother has me beat when it comes to self-control.

Pirates New Power Hitter?

I am sure most of you saw this already.  And yes, I am already sure every website has made a joke about how the Pirates should add him to the expanded roster...

I just wonder how many swings he took before he hit that one.

My Birthday

 It is almost October 2nd.  What did you guys buy me for my birthday?  Actually, I do not want anything.  Well that is not true, but none of you bastards will buy me anything.  What I would like is for everyone to go out with me to celebrate my 30th birthday.  

This is how I should look

I am thinking a bunch of us should go out in State College.   Start off at Champs for dinner and drinks.  Then head downtown and get a little bit ridiculous.  Maybe get a few hotel rooms, that way no one needs to attempt to drive home.

Also, if Camilla Belle is reading this:  you are more than welcome to come out with us to celebrate your birthday as well.  I promise, you will have a great time.  I realize that 24 is not as momentous as 30, but that is no reason to not have a good time...

This Week's Lack of Television

I guess most shows were not on this week.  Fortunately, Mad Men was awesome enough to make up for everything else.

This episode had everything.  Here are some of the highlights:

-Roger begging Don to come out to the bar because he is stuck with Freddy and another non-alcoholic.  Don would rather stay and work on the Samsonite campaign.

-Don throwing up.  We have seen Roger throw up, but never Don.  I figured he was immune to puking.

-Peggy breaking up with her boyfriend and then get into a nice fight with Don.  He then makes fun of her and tells her that she is 20-something and she needs to get over birthdays.

-Don and Peggy find Roger's tapes.  They listen to one and Roger talks about how Bert hated him because of his sexual prowess.  Apparently Roger banged Bert's secretary back in the day, who is the old lady that is Don's current secretary.  Also, Bert had his balls removed. 

-Duck is hammered and shows up at SCDP trying to woo Peggy.  He got fired from his firm and is now insanely drunk.  He is going to take a dump on Don's couch (it is actually Roger's couch).  Peggy stops him and when Don comes out of the bathroom they get into a tussle after Duck calls Peggy a whore.  Duck actually puts Don to the ground.  Insane.

-Anna died.  Don cried.  He and Peggy bond.  It was sweet.

Fantasy Baseball Week Twenty-Two

Another win.  This week it was against Happy Valley Swagger.  I beat him 6-4.  The nice thing about this is that I jumped into fifth place over Gideon.  Which means this week in the first round of the playoffs, I get to play HVS again.  Just a little bit nervous.

My pitching would have been phenomenal if not for Broxton, Lewis, and Dickey.  Those two brought a mid 2.00 ERA to a 4.20 ERA.  Thanks dickheads.

For awhile it seemed like the two rookies (Jackson and Heyward) were going into a tailspin.  I am so glad that I kept them.  They both hit over .400, 12 Runs, 2 HRs, and 10 RBIs.  Thank you guys. 

RIP Robert Schimmel

This is Robert Schimmel.  He died.  I am not going to pretend that I was a huge fan or anything.  I saw him a few times and he always cracked me up.  I think he was the guy who made the joke about buying a dildo for his wife and instead of buying a huge one, he bought her one the size of a BIC pen.  That way his dick would seem huge...I think this was the guy who made that joke....

Girlfriend of the Week

I am sitting here right now watching the movie Role Models.  Actually it is Thursday night, just in case you start searching your TV to watch it.  I have seen this movie a bunch of times, it is pretty funny.  I noticed that the girl at the beginning, the one Wheeler pours liquor on, is quite attractive.  This is the scene I am talking about:

Who is she?  And I have an answer:  Tina Casciani.  Allow me to say that she is pretty smoking hot.

The Naked God

I finally finished The Naked God by Peter F. Hamilton.  As with the other two books, this would be way too hard to even remotely explain what was happening.  You should just read it for yourself.  I want to discuss the last bit from the book, so if you plan on reading it, you should stop reading now.

Joshua goes out with Syrinx to find the Sleeping God, who they believe can help them solve the Beyond problem.  What they find is a construct, a naked singularity, which was created by some other race.  This thing is basically a god.  It shows Joshua how the possessed came into being for humans.  It also agrees to help humanity.

Joshua uses it's power to remove the possessed.  He also moves all the Confederation planets to another part of the galaxy and within proximity of each other that they will not need the kind of flight they currently use or the type of government structure.  They will have to start focusing their intellect on solving all their problems.  Once they begin to achieve that, then they will basically evolve to a higher level (like the Kiint).

The cool thing I loved was the idea that the people's souls in the Beyond were able to get themselves out of the Beyond.  This seems like the reason that most of the people who came back were bad people in their previous life (or at least they believed themselves to be bad).  Much like what Death explains in an issue of Sandman...

I also loved how Joshua mentions at the end that all the world's religions were trying to claim the Naked God as part of their beliefs.  Always funny how religions continue on, even in the face of science...

Anyways, who would I cast in a movie of this epic series?  Let us take a look.

NFL Predictions 2010

It is that time of year again.  Where I make idiotic football predictions that do not even come close.  So here we go.

AFC East
Jets
Patriots
Dolphins
Bills

AFC North
Ravens
Bengals
Steelers
Browns

AFC South
Colts
Texans
Titans
Jaguars

AFC West
Chargers
Broncos
Chiefs
Raiders

Wildcards:  Patriots and Texans

NFC East
Cowboys
Giants
Eagles
Redskins

NFC North
Vikings
Packers
Lions
Bears

NFC South
Saints
Falcons
Buccaneers
Panthers

NFC West
49ers
Cardinals
Seahawks
Rams

Wildcards:  Packers and Falcons

AFC Championship:  Ravens over Jets
NFC Championship:  Packers over Cowboys
Superbowl:  Packers over Ravens

I decided to go a little out there with some picks.  Why the hell not?  If I am right, I will look so brilliant.  If I am wrong, well then I guess there would be no shock.

This Week's TV Stuff

Eureka
I was so excited for this episode.  Stark returns?  Yes, that is the greatest moment ever.  And then after a few minutes, we realize that Stark is just Carter's hallucination.  It was great while it lasted though.  I really missed Stark's constant jokes about Carter being stupid.

Some other stuff happened as well.  Zoe is dating Zane.  Jo thought she was confronting her hallucination of Zane, but instead it was the real Zane.  Fargo grew a set of balls and stood up to the General.  Oh and whatever the major crisis was solved. 

When will Don bang Faye?

Mad Men
This was an awesome episode.  Don and the team head to the CLEO awards, where Don wins an award for his Glo-Coat commercial.  When they find out that the Life people are stuck in Philadelphia, they decide to start pregaming for the award show.  Naturally, the gang drinks heavily at the ceremony (so does Duck Phillips, who makes a fool of himself).  They get a message that the Life people have shown up and want to do the pitch meeting now.  Don is a little drunk and wants to have the meeting.

At the beginning of the episode, Don and Peggy give Roger's wife's cousin an interview, which is pretty funny.  His portfolio is a joke.  Most of the stuff is other people's work that he admires, and all his ideas revolve around the same idea.  During the Life meeting, drunk Don starts rattling off slogans and steals one of the kid's lame ideas.  Life loves it.  Don later is forced to hire him.  It was great watching Peggy stand up to him.

After the meeting, they go back out and continue drinking.  Don gets blasted.  He strikes out with Faye, takes some other girl home.  Wakes up in bed with some different girl.  He also finds out that it is no longer Saturday, but instead Sunday.  Apparently, after girl one, he went out some more and kept partying.  Who hasn't had a drinking binge like that?

Roger remembers how he met Don Draper.  Apparently, Roger came in to buy Joan a fur coat.  He saw Don's ad on the wall and gave him his card.  Don thought that was a job opportunity.  He came to the office and Roger wanted nothing to do with him.  Don offered to take him out for drinks (Roger scoffs at the idea at drinking at 10 a.m., who is this Roger?).  Roger gets pretty bombed before noon.  The next day Don shows up at the office.  Roger asks why he is back.  Don says that Roger hired him.  Classic Don manipulating his way into a job.

True Blood
I almost wish that Sam could have been out with Don and Roger.  He would have been the angry drunk to complete their group.  Roger was morose, Don was the horndog...Sam could have been the pissed off dude.  It was actually kind of sad the way he treated Tommy and then how Tommy reacted.  The whole apologizing and being upset thing.  Then he breaks into Sam's safe.  Great job Tommy.

Eric offers Sookie to Russell, with the promise of being a daywalker.  I really hope Blade shows up to kick Russell's ass.  Turns out though that Eric has a plan.  They drink Sookie's blood and take a stroll outside.  Eric fails to mention that they needed to drink all of her blood.  They are only immune to the sun for a few minutes.  Eric handcuffs Russell with silver cuffs and plans to die alongside him.  I am guessing that Eric will survive though.  I mean he is probably the most popular character on the show.

And finally Jason was hilarious as usual when being stupid.  "So you are like a werewolf, but a panther?"  Crystal:  "Yes, a werepanther."  Although, his discovery that his rival high school QB is using V was pretty cool.  Interesting idea, since it cannot be tested for, how would something like that change professional sports?  Maybe that is Pujols secret...

My brother pointed out that the weird new waitress was a waitress at Monk's on Seinfeld.  Also, Maryann from last season was one of George's many ex-girlfriends.  Fun facts.