Carl Time

A baseball rant from Carl.  He rips on Lincecum for looking like a girl and ends up picking the Yankees to win it all in 2011.  I guess Carl is a Yankee fan.  Are most NY Giants fans also Yankees fans?  Does that mean Mets fans are usually Jets fans?  I know that James does not fit that rule.  He is also a Rangers fan...I am just starting to ramble here.  Time to go to bed.

Awkward Television Moments

This week's television featured a few very awkward moments.  To the point that I was sick to my stomach or laughing my ass off.

Boardwalk Empire
The creepy government agent looking at Mrs. Schroeder's photo became very creepy.  He lays out the towel, pushes his wife's picture down so she can not "look" at him, and then gets out the belt.  I naturally assume he will partake in a little autoerotic asphyxiation.  Am I the only one who thought that?  Screw you guys.  Instead he punishes himself for having impure thoughts.  Stupid religion.

Worth masturbating to, not worth beating yourself with a belt...

Aside from that the episode was pretty awesome.  Jimmy hatches a plan to get back at the Irish.  And then Al insults him at a party, but Jimmy rolls with it and throws out his own insults.  Apparently Al Capone does not like that too much (I wonder how historical some of this is?).

Sons of Anarchy
SAMCRO heads to Ireland to get Jax's son back.  First though they have to get drunk and party with SAMBEL.  Jax meets Trinity and there are some instant sparks.  Jax does a bare-knuckle fight with Liam.  Trinity wants to wrap his hands and she is definitely giving him the fuck-me eyes.  After the fight she leads him to a shower, where someone makes the joke that she needs to scrub his back.  Normally this would just be another normal day for someone in the club, except in this instance, Trinity is Jax's half-sister.

Fortunately, Father Kellan came to the rescue.  He wanted to talk to Jax about his son.  Crisis averted.  Score one point for religion.






Always Sunny

Obviously this one was just meant to be funny.  The whole episode was hilarious, as the gang tries to recreate what happened at the Halloween party that ended up with Dee getting pregnant by one of them.  After everything is settled, they think it was actually Dennis who slept with Dee, which causes Dennis to vomit.  Dee then reveals that it was none of them and she just said it to screw with them and prove that they did care who the father was.  The gang then insults her and leaves without waiting to hear who the daddy actually is.  

AHHHH

Hey folks, sorry I have not been around this week.  Let me just say that moving is hard, plus going into work everyday.  Do not worry though, I will be back next week to keep you entertained for the three minutes it takes to read my idiocy. 

Since I spend so much time at The Place That Shall Not Be Named, I figure Sarah Marince should be my GOTW.  And no, I will explain what that means.

Carl on Illegal Hits

I am pretty sick of hearing about these hits.  That is all any of the sports talk shows I listened to this week talked about.  I don't want to see anyone get hurt, but how the hell are you going to control 200 lb guys running at almost 20 mph and trying to slam their body into another 20 mph moving object?  "Uh, hey guys, please angle your head so you do not hit each other with your helmets.  Umm, thanks."

Girlfriend of the Week

Allow me to finally introduce you to my actual girlfriend:  Lindsey.  We are able to now talk about our relationship, so I figure this would be a good time to make her the GOTW.  Unfortunately, she would not allow me to take any pictures of her wearing skimpy outfits, so just try to use your imagination.

Anyways, for some related good news...we found an apartment in New Germany.  It is actually in Croyle Township, which excites the hell out of me.  I will talk about that another time though.  And obviously I am excited about living with Lindsey, that goes without saying.  And now allow me to present the girl who makes me happy.

Obviously she is completely ripped.  Do not arm wrestle her...

Something tells me she is not so sober in this photo.

She is also part monkey.

No comment.

Actually one of my favorite pics.  

 

And for the woman's rights groups out there, not one comment about her breasts.  I think that is pretty impressive.

Dear Lord

Dear Lord and Savior,
My brother is a huge Denver Broncos fan.  Despite our family being Steelers fans, Adam was born with a slight genetic defect that causes him to like the Denver Broncos.  And then last weekend, the moment came.  Our lord and savior scored his first points in the NFL.  Tim Tebow, who has come back to usher in the kingdom of heaven on earth, scored a touchdown.

Unfortunately, Adam is a godless heathen.  So Mr. Tebow, if you are reading this, I ask you to please come see my brother and try to steer him towards the correct path.  I think that would be a perfect Tebowmas present for him this year.

Your blessed servant,
Josh

This is Adam's pumpkin he carved this year...

Mad Men Finale

Honestly, the moment Don asked Megan to go to California, I knew something awesome would happen (I was just hoping to see Megan in a bikini).  Then Don gets that engagement ring that belonged to Anna and it was apparent where things were going.

Don ended the season announcing his engagement to Megan and some of the people did not take it so well (I really thought Roger would make more jokes about Don marrying his secretary).  Dr. Faye was very upset.  In fact, she was pissed.  It may have something to do with Don telling her how much he liked her and whatnot.  Oops.

Peggy and Ken brought in the first business since Lucky Strike left, yet no one seemed to care because of Don's announcement.  This leaves Peggy very annoyed, so she goes to Joan to bitch about it.  This was a very cool moment because of the way we always see Peggy/Joan.  Peggy tries to do something nice for Joan, but gets slapped around for it.  It was good to see them bonding.

Speaking of Joan, she did not have an abortion.  Instead she lied to her husband and convinced him it was his.  He is dumb.  How is she going to explain when it pops out like a month or so later than it should?  Also, Joan did not seem too pleased with her new promotion.

Don tells Betty about his engagement.  You remember Betty:  World's Worst Mother.  After firing Carla because she let Glenn see Sally, and fighting with Henry over it, she sees Don and I think she would have banged him on the counter of their old house.  She definitely regrets marrying Henry (not as much as he regrets marrying her) and is now probably going to have to double her visits to Sally's shrink in order to cope with losing Don to Megan...

I just realized that Megan is also the girl from Hot Tub Time Machine that gets banged in the hot tub and has the huge boobs.  I like her boobs.  So does Don.  He is brilliant.

Carl-Time

Has there ever been a game between 1-3 teams with more hype? 

Girlfriend of the Week

This week's GOTW is Black Cat.  You know, the hot chick from Spider-Man comics...maybe they will use her in the next movie.  Hope you enjoy.

My Birthday

It's been a few days since my birthday and I guess that means I should write about the adventures of the day.  I had a great day.  It started off with my mom, Adam, and Lora all going over to State College to enjoy a movie.  We went to see The Social Network.  This is significant because it was the first time my mom had been to a movie since 1999 (she went to see Star Wars Episode I with Adam and I).

I really enjoyed the movie.  It was very good, especially when you consider the subject matter:  the creation of Facebook.  I find it funny that so many people think that Mark Zuckerberg was portrayed as a jerk.  I wonder what that says about me?  It is the type of movie that I would have no problem watching again on HBO, but I would never go out and buy it.  Know what I mean?

After the movie we went over to Champs for dinner.  I had the always delicious Cajun Chicken Cheese Steak and a few Peroni's.  I had never tried Peroni and I really liked it.  Who knew Italian beer was any good?  When the waitress (I think her name was Stacy, so that was what we shall call her) asked for my ID, we had a fun exchange.

Me:  Today is my birthday (as I look for my ID)
Stacy:  Oh?  How old are you?
Me:  I just turned 21.
Stacy:  Really?  Like last night, or tonight at midnight?
Me:  Ten minutes ago.  That was the exact time of my birth.
Stacy (now looking at my ID):  That is really cool!  Did you go out?
Me (taking my ID back):  Did you actually look at my ID?
Stacy:  No, I just looked to see if it was vertical or horizontal.  Haha.
Me:  Here, look again.
Stacy:  Oh, hahahaha. (clearly confused)
Me:  You are the worst ID checker ever.  I am 30.
Stacy:  Oh, (now looking at in depth).  OH, HA!

She flirted with me a bit more (yeah, I have a girlfriend, but flirting with a waitress is a wise thing) and at the end of meal, she brings me out a cake.  I tried to get her to sing happy birthday.  She then brings the check.  She did not charge me for my meal or for my first beer.  I had no idea that Champs had that policy, she could have just said I got a free beer or something.  Hell, the free cake was a nice touch.  She definitely went above and beyond to make my birthday feel special.

After that we went to my mom's house to watch the Penn State game.  I do not want to talk about how great it was to watch PSU beat the crap out of Iowa how shitty it was to watch PSU get beat down by Iowa.  After the game, a few of us went out to the Pub.  That is when things go way downhill.

My girlfriend was supposed to meet us there after work.  By the time she got there, I was in full on blackout mode.  I have one memory of how I got there.  Tommy (a bartender from another bar) bought me a shot.  I am pretty sure it was a Three Wisemen.  I do not like whiskey at all.  As soon as I drank it, I could feel it hitting me.

When my girlfriend did finally arrive, I was a wreck.  Adam and Lora convinced her to take me home.  I went to bed and I guess in the middle of the night I woke up and decided to pee in my garbage can.  Is there anything to really say about the night?  Obviously it is a great night when you pee in a garbage can.

I also received some great gifts:
-Money
-Pirates hat (from Lora), which was too big, but I exchanged it for the correct size.
-Penn State shirt (from Adam), I have a degree from the school and yet almost no clothes from there.
-Superman/Batman:  Apocalypse DVD (Adam again)
-Batman Silly Bands (Adam)
-Comic Books (Kacie)
-Pens tickets (Mystery girlfriend)
-I Love Jesus shot glass (Lora)...I really wish I would have taken that shot with this glass.  I bet I would not have blacked out.
-Family Guy DVD (Adam)...apparently it was a banned episode.  I may watch it tonight.

Thank you to everyone who made turning 30 such a great time!

TV TV TV TV TV TV TV TV TV TV TV TV

This was a fantastic week of television.  Let us start with Mad Men.

Mad Men
SCDP is failing.  Without Lucky Strike, they only have a few months before they cannot pay the employees.  They have to start downsizing.  Then they get a break.  Phillip Morris wants to create a new cigarette for women and they want a meeting with SCDP.  Unfortunately it turns out that they just want other agencies to think that and they used SCDP.

This pisses Don Draper off.  He goes home and writes a letter to the New York Times saying why he is quitting tobacco.  He writes how the tobacco companies are killing people and he was part of that.  He says that he is glad to be out of that business.  He also recommends other agencies that would be suitable to do ad work for tobacco companies.

Needless to say the rest of the partners are not too happy with Don.  They feel like he has destroyed the company.  In fact, Bert leaves.  Peggy comes into Don's office and he asks her what she thought of it.  She says "I thought you didn't like those kind of shenanigans."  Which causes Don to smile.  Peggy remembered something Don taught her.

The reason this episode was great was because of the way it felt like Don truly is happy.  His letter was an ad for the agency, yet at the same time, I truly believe he feels good about the direction his agency is going.  Also, it was cool to see Midge again.  Not cool that she is now an addict trying to use Don for money.  I guess she should have taken that trip to Paris...

Roger's great line of the episode:  "I need to go learn people's names before I fire them."  Haha, oh Roger, we will always love you.

I also loved how Pete was so upset about the money he was supposed to pay and then Lane informs him that Don paid his portion.  He sees Don in a whole new way.  I was sure that he was going to throw Don's false identity back at him since they lost the North American Aviation contract.

Sons of Anarchy
Jax is the man.  He threatens Jimmy's right hand man by saying that if they are lying about Abel he is going to kill him and then let Chibs cut Jimmy from ear-to-ear.  SAMCRO threatening the IRA?  That is why SAMCRO is badass.

Agent Stahl decides to screw with Gemma.  She takes the deal off the table unless she cooperates against everyone.  Jax does not like this and after he finds out that Jimmy was lying he pays the number one a visit.  We assume that he is going to shoot him.  Then he goes to Stahl's house, which scares her a bit.  I am sure everyone thought he was going to do something insane like kill her or something.  He throws us for a loop by wanting a deal.  He says that if she drops the case against Gemma, he will give her the IRA.  He then shows her Jimmy's number one with a whole assload of guns.

At least we now know how Gemma is going to get out of this mess.  I am also extremely excited about the idea of SAMCRO in Belfast going into battle against the IRA.  Things are about to get insane.

Boardwalk Empire
So far this has not been a show with a whole lot to talk about.  I mean, it is a fantastic show, but it is slow building.  This is not a bad thing at all.  Sometimes you have to move a little slower to really make it engaging.  The best part of the episode was Chalky telling the story about his father and then pulling out the tools.  I don't know about you, but I enjoy watching a KKK member shit his pants with the threat of torture.  Or lost a finger.

I cannot take Tommy from Snatch seriously as Al Capone.  Maybe it is because of the way Peter F. Hamilton used Capone in the Night's Dawn Trilogy.  Plus, I want Jimmy to be like "what's that in your trousers Tommy?  Protection from what? Ze Germans?"  Sorry.

The part where the Irish guy cut the hooker was pretty intense.  It made me cringe.  I wanted Clint to walk in later and say "you must be that whore they cut up."  Yes, that is right, a Snatch and an Unforgiven reference in one post.

Also, Gretchen Mol is pretty hot.  I always thought she was attractive in Rounders, but she is a pretty hot grandmother.

The League
-Jenny tries to join Russell's league, but Kevin is upset because Russell is a sex addict.  She goes over to his place and he says that she does nothing for him.  Everything else does, including Raffi.  Luckily, this ends Raffi in the league and Jenny is free to take his team.

-I loved how Andre kept saying he was a doctor and they would make fun of him.  Especially when Kevin is like "I am not a doctor Taco and I would have said the same thing."  Andre is just so ridiculous and fun to mock.  We all have that friend.

-Raffi's great line when Pete and Andre are about to fight "Bite each other's dicks off!"  What a freak.  He was like the insane Taco.

My First Pens Game

Remember last week when someone posted an insane GOTW?  Well she took me to the Pen's opening game at the new arena.  This was my first game ever.  Allow me to say that it was simply amazing.  If I had money, I would definitely want season tickets.  Everyone says that there is nothing like going to a live game and those people are absolutely right.

Those are the pictures I took with my phone.  Pretty awesome, eh?  If you want to see some better pictures go here and if you want a recap of the game, which was exciting even though the Pens lost, then go here.  You may be wondering how my girlfriend got such awesome seats.  Well, it turns out that her cousin is married to Brent Johnson and we got to sit where the families sit.  Pretty damn awesome.

People keep asking me what I thought of the new arena, but in all honesty, I have no opinion.  It looked really cool, but I have nothing to compare it against.  It was much nicer than the Wells Fargo Center, which believe it or not, I was at the first Sixers game played there.  Pretty crazy.  I guess I have to go to another arena and then use that as a comparison.

It was funny to hear some of the season ticket holders bitch about things.  That is Pittsburgh folks for ya, never happy.

I do want to make fun of the guys sitting behind me.  They made me laugh all night long with their great commentary.  Anytime the Pens got the puck, they immediately said "shoot it boys" or "stop passing boys and just shoot."  I guess it is just that easy.  Calling them boys every time is what really did it for me though.

Girlfriend of the Week

Since I am late with this and it is now football time, why not make Erin Andrews the GOTW.  She is a smokin' hot sideline reporter and that works for me.

Carl's Suggestion

Carl's suggestion for the week is another good one.  Stay tuned in a few minutes (hours) for the GOTW.

TV Week

Mad Men
The firm finds out about Lucky Strike.  Roger pretends to call Lee Garner Jr. and then hides in a hotel room.  What can Roger do to redeem himself?  Hopefully he can bring in another account.  I do not want to see Roger fall apart.

Peggy is a nympho.  Or at least Stan thinks so.  She does her best Don impersonation with Playtex gloves.  It seems like Don will continue to prepare her to take over at creative director someday. 

Speaking of Don.  He gets into a fight with Dr. Faye because she has ethics and will not give him the names of her clients who are unhappy with their ad agencies.  It seems like she broke up with him.  Later Don is working and Megan offers to help him.  He gets to know her and they have sex on the couch.  She informs him that she will not run out of the office crying.  She has no delusions about what this is, she just wants some of Don's creative input.

Don then heads home and Dr. Faye is waiting for him.  She gives him a  meeting with Heinz.  Oh now this is going to be awkward.  I hope she does not smell Megan on Don's penis.  I bet that would go over like a lead balloon.

Since it was vacation week, my brain does not really remember the other shows I watched this week.

Fantasy Baseball Final Two Weeks

I finished in third place.  Congratulations to Ryan for winning the league for the second straight year.  Congratulations to Offord for second place and Jason for fourth place.  Without going into huge details about my victory (actually it must have come down to a tiebreaker) over Jason let me say that it was a fun two weeks.

My hitting was atrocious this week since most of my really good guys received days off to help them rest for the playoffs.  My pitching was really good.  Especially since I kept adding/dropping guys.  Normally picking up guys like this means you have a higher ERA/WHIP, but this time I was able to keep picking up guys who had great starts.  Actually, I was smart about my pickups.  Take Anibal Sanchez against the Pirates.  Pick up a pitcher going against the Mariners.  Take the Padres/Giants pitchers (two teams playing each other and doing what they can to win the division...)

In the other league I finished in fifth place.  Ryan finished in third place.  That was a fun league.  I cannot wait until next year to do it again.  In fact, I think Offord, Jason, and Gideon should just join that league with us.  I suggested to the commissioner that he expand it to at least 16 teams and expand the roster to 12-pitchers.   Those are just some thoughts though.

It was really hard for awhile though since I never really did a rotisserie league.  Definitely harder and more challenging than a head-to-head league.  You cannot get away with things like punting stats in that league.  It just does not work as I learned the hard way.

Anyways, I expect to have my end of the year baseball post up soon. 

Uncle Carl's Pick

This is probably one of my favorites in a long time.  Mainly because he is the only one making fun of Vick and his dog fighting.  And he makes fun of Alabama.  Always hilarious.

Game of Thrones Teaser 2

This is the second teaser for HBO's A Game of Thrones series.  Yes, I am that excited.

"Raven" Preview