Christmas Gift Ideas

Every year I toil away at my computer, trying to find ways to entertain you.  And yet, none of you ever send me any gifts come Christmas time.  That is ridiculous.  I expect that will change this year.  You feel bad that you have not bought me anything and want to make up for it.  The only one of you that is exempt from this is Michelle since she bought me the first four Sookie Stackhouse books for my birthday (I think she may have mentioned how I should read them every time I wrote something about True Blood).  Here are a few ideas for you:

DVDs
At some point in life I will buy either a PS3 or a BluRay player, therefore I have been cutting back on the number of DVDs I purchase.  That being said, I would love it if someone bought me the first season of Community.  I hear it is quite hilarious.

Books
I actually would prefer if no one bought me any books for awhile.  I am quite behind on my reading list.  I have the Wheel of Time, the Sookie books, a few other random ones sitting there screaming my name.  It is just too much.

Comics
If one of you would be so kind as to head to the Comic Swap in State College and pick up my subscription list, that would be much appreciated.  Thanks.

See folks, I do not ask for much.  Now get out there and get these simple things done.

Winter is Coming Soon!!!

Clip Preview

Here is the first full preview of HBOs newest show Game of Thrones.   Needless to say, I am extremely excited about this show.  It feels like the books, if that makes sense.

More Star Wars Insanity

I realize my last post was about Star Wars, but blame SpikeTV--they are showing the originals today.  Anyways, I just watched one of my favorite parts, the above video includes the part where Vader chokes the nonbeliever.  It then got me thinking...

-Everything Obi-Wan tells Luke is basically a lie.  I know, he says that it is the truth from a certain point of view, but does this seem like good Jedi behavior?  When I met your father, he was already one of the best star pilots in the galaxy...ummm when you met his father, he was a little boy.  I highly doubt he was that great of a pilot.

-Your uncle did not want your father to get involved.  Uncle Owen did not really know Anakin, and he most certainly had no say whether Anakin was involved.

-Obi-Wan does not remember R2D2?  I guess senility is also a major Jedi trait.

-Vader's great speech about how the power to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.  Ummm, really?  Have we ever witnessed anything that would lead us to believe that the Force can do anything close to this?

-Obi-Wan says that he has not gone by that name since before Luke was born...did anyone at the end of Revenge of the Sith call him Ben?  I do not remember that.

-How shitty of a protocol droid is C-3PO?  I get that his mind must have been wiped a few times, but he does not know that Jawas are from Tatooine?

-In Return of the Jedi, Luke is escorted to the Emperor with handcuffs on.  The Emperor then releases them with the Force.  Why would they even bother putting them on a Jedi?

-Also, when the Emperor is taunting Luke by saying that he should just reach out and take the lightsaber and strike him down, why doesn't Luke just use the force to slowly turn it around and flip the switch on so it stabs the Emperor?  There are plenty of places in these films where we see Jedi use their power for something mundane (Obi-Wan is way too lazy to shut doors by hitting a button), but they fail to use it for something useful (why not use it to flip the off-switch on a lightsaber during a battle).  Am I the only one who thinks of this stuff?

Okay, I promise that I am done with this now.

Star Wars Stupidity

I am sitting here right now watching Star Wars Episode I:  The Phantom Menace on SpikeTV (I watched the last half of Episode III) and it occurred to me there are plenty of idiotic things about these films when compared to the originals.  I am sure people have pointed these things out before or found explanations, but it is still fun to make fun.

-If you are trying to hide Anakin Skywalker's children, why would you take one of them to Tattooine:  the place where Anakin was born?

-Also, why the hell would you keep his last name as Skywalker?  Did Luke ever have to register his T-16?  I am sure the Imperial DMV would have Skywalker on file.  Darth Vader and the Emperor did not keep a search program running to alert them if that name ever came up?

-Why does the Emperor refer to Luke as the son of Skywalker when talking to Vader?  Why not just say "your son cannot become a Jedi."  I guess that would have killed the big shock ending.

-Allow me to get this straight, Yoda and Obi-Wan escape from the Emperor and Vader and go into hiding.  What was their master plan?  Never train either child and just hope that the two bad guys die of old age?  Why not move to the farthest corner of the galaxy (I am guessing Tattoine) and train both of them both to be Jedi Knights.  Also, why wouldn't they both be out searching for other surviving Jedi?  Instead they just wait for them all to be killed or later hunted down by Vader.  Great plan.

One of my favorite posters from the prequels

-How does Princess Leia tell Luke that she remembers her mother as being very sad.  Padme dies when they are born.  Sorry, she loses the will to live.  Apparently that is a diagnosis in that universe.  I wonder what House would say?  He would definitely want an autopsy.

-Yoda and Chewbacca were good friends.  I somehow find it hard to believe that Luke and Chewie never have that discussion.  I am sure that Han would ask Luke where he learned how to be so badass and Luke would be like "oh, this old Jedi Master, Yoda trained me."  Or could Han have mentioned the weird ramblings from Luke to Chewie after Hoth?  I am almost certain one of these conversations had to happen.  Maybe Luke and Chewie once drank some beers and lamented over their dead friend.

-I always forget that Anakin is like Jesus.  He has no human father.  Quite creepy.  I wonder what Jesus' midichlorian count would have been?

Girlfriend of the Week

This weeks GOTW is a dedication to a beautiful Native American woman:  Charisma Carpenter.  I did not know she was party NA until about eight minutes ago, but that is good enough for me.  You may remember her from Buffy and Angel or whatever else she has been in.  Apparently there is a big uproar about rebooting Buffy, check it out if you want a good laugh.

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving and I hope you have a fun Black Friday!  Enjoy buying cheap things.  I am at work, since about 2:30 a.m.  My life rocks.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone is having a great Thanksgiving.  I will be out at my grandparents, eating great food and hopefully winning at poker.  What do I have to be thankful for?  Where should I start?  A great girlfriend, great family and friends, good job, a good football season so far for the Steelers, hope that the Pirates will someday be decent, Mountain Dew, beer, great TV shows like Sons of Anarchy and all the other ones I watch, the sun, books, comic books, the Penguins kicking ass like I expected, the couch Lindsey bought, my bed, razors so I do not look like Chewbacca, and myself.  Yes I am thanking for myself. 

Vacation Planning

Lindsey and I have been discussing where we want to take a vacation next year.  We are thinking about going some time in October or November (be a nice way to celebrate both of our birthdays).  Apparently her first choice would be Newfoundland.  I quickly put the kibosh on that idea.  What the hell would we do in Newfoundland?  It does not sound very relaxing or fun to me.  I told her that maybe someday we could visit the Canadian province.

We then discussed going to a beach.  She said she wanted to go to a beach where they have the huts.  We looked it up and we found that on the Cook Islands, you can stay in a beach hut for pretty cheap.  In fact (if my New Zealand dollar exchange rate is correct), it would be about $56 a night.  Unfortunately, a plane ticket might be a little bit ridiculous. 

Also, I think the beach hut thing would be cool at some point.  Judging by the pictures, it looks like you are out in your beach hut.  It does not look like your typical tourist trap.  That definitely appeals to me.

Then we talked about the idea of going to a resort.  I guess they are a great deal if you do the all inclusive.  The first one we looked at was the new Sandals Resort in the Bahamas.

The place looks amazing.  Then I started reading about it on their website.  Apparently this is where many of the world's top CEOs, such as Steve Jobs, like to go.  Something tells me this might be out of our price range. 

Doesn't the beach look beautiful?  I had to know how much it would be.  I am willing to pay a little bit more for a nicer product.  We figured our best bet would be to fly out of Baltimore, these are the prices for two people with airfare.

Holy shit!  I am thinking you can probably buy a house on one of these islands for about $32,000.  The cheapest room option would be just under $10,000.  I doubt this is the destination in our future.

Lindsey then said that she did the resort thing before with her family and that she really wanted to do a cruise.  If you remember, I had an awesome time on a cruise.  So, that is what we have decided, we want to take one of the longer cruises (preferably a seven day) to some part of the Caribbean.  Ideally, we would leave from Baltimore, that way we do not need to book a flight.  Sadly, it seems the Baltimore cruises are either really short, or past ten days (we only get ten days for vacation). 

So, I am inviting all of you to think about joining us on a cruise.  I know that many of you will read this and go "oh, that does not mean me" and if you think that, you are an idiot.  This is an invitation to anyone and everyone.  If you are interested, leave me a comment and I will begin looking into group rates if we can get enough people.

Baseball Predictions: How Did I Do?

I think the title explains this post, right?  Unless you are an idiot...anyways, let us get started.

NL East
Okay, I got this division completely right from top to bottom.  The Phillies stumbled at times, but honestly, with that lineup and that pitching staff who could stop them?  My IDP about Josh Johnson was completely wrong, in fact he tried to make me look like an idiot.

NL Central
I at least got the third place team right.  The Reds came out of nowhere.  At the beginning of the year, the Astros were just as bad as the Pirates, who knew they would start winning and the Pirates would never win again.  Life is pretty unfair at times.  Homer Bailey almost made my IDP come true on May 12th.  He did not throw a no-hitter, but instead he shut-out the Pirates at home and only gave up four hits.  Also, he did not go 9-11, but instead 4-3 (nothing spectacular).

NL West

Wow, I got this one completely wrong.  I guess I did not take into consideration how good Buster Posey and Aubrey Huff were going to be.  That is actually pretty impressive to be that wrong.  Shows you that baseball is completely unpredictable.  Wow, I barely got this IDP right:  Adrian Gonzalez hit 31 home runs this year and obviously did not get traded.  Woo-hoo, 2 out of 3 on the IDPs.

AL East
At least I got the Red Sox right (oh and apparently Adrian Beltre was the answer, since he had a monster season).  I knew that the Rays and Yankees would be the top two and one of them would be the wild card.  I just got it backwards.  Sue me.  Also, I believe at some point I heard a rumor that the Red Sox were thinking about Garrett Jones (until Ortiz started crushing the ball and Jones showed that he was human).  So I will give the IDP a push.

AL Central
Another one where I got nothing right.  Wow, I really sucked this year.  My IDP about Bonderman was completely wrong.  He did not get traded, did not strike out a ton of guys, nor did he really get hurt.  Hell, he started 29 games...his most since 2006.

AL West
And absolutely none right again!  Woo-hoo!  I rock and roll.  My IDP about Ian Snell did not happen, but he did at least suck out there in Seattle.  I guess that was something I got a bit right.


Playoffs
I at least had the Yankees and Phillies in their respective championship games, unfortunately they played the wrong teams.  I cannot imagine many people predicted this years World Series.  Again, this is the beauty of baseball, the teams that everyone expected to win it, did not.  Cool.

Awards
I did get the two Cy Young winners right, which I think is pretty damn awesome.  This may have been my worst prediction year ever, but predicting two of the award winners is pretty damn impressive.  I realize plenty of people might disagree with King Felix winning, but if you look past the record, he was much better than the others.  Also pretty cool that I said Halladay would win over twenty games.

Since I am still not sure whether or not Escobar was eligible (not that he would have won this year), but my secondary pick was Heyward, who finished second.  So since I put him second, I will pretend that is what I meant.

I did not realize Neftali Feliz was still rookie eligible, but again, I cannot complain, my AL ROY finished second in the voting.  Pretty cool when you consider how many rookies are potentially out there and how it seems every spring you hear about someone and then they fizzle out.  Heyward/Jackson/Feliz all delivered this year.  I honestly did not think the Giants would bring Posey up this year, or maybe not until late in the year.

If you told me that Carlos Ruiz would have 12 more votes for NL MVP than Chase Utley, I would have called you mentally challenged.  Well, I would have been the one looking pretty dumb.  Joey Votto wins the award.  At least Pujols got second place.

I at least got the AL MVP correct!!!  Oh, umm, back in 2009.  Look, my predictive powers do not know the limitations of the earthly concept of time.  At least Longoria finished sixth in the voting.  I did not really see Jose Bautista or Paul Konerko jumping into the top five.

As for the Royals, I was only eight games off with that one.  Umm, unfortunately, none of us were even close with the Pirates.  57-105.  Goddamn that is a terrible record.  I look forward to next season, and not just because I get excited about the prospect of making insanely bad predictions...

The Eye of the World

I recently picked up the first three books of the Wheel of Time series.  Greg Howley constantly talks about the series (not just in his review, but also in many of the comments here).

The first book is fantastic.  The characters are great, my favorite is probably Perrin or Rand.  My favorite little thing from the entire book is the way that both characters wish they had the others ability to talk to girls.

At first I was not thrilled the way the book ended.  We kept getting this idea that Rand would face Ba'alzamon, but not for a long time.  I figured Rand would learn about his powers and become a master swordsman.  Instead (oh and this could be a spoiler), Rand becomes Superman and destroys Ba'alzamon (I doubt he is really dead though).

The more I thought about it though, the more I loved it.  By the end, Moraine realizes that Rand is the Dragon Reborn.  It sets up for Rand to become the true villain.  He may have a great inner battle to fight throughout the rest of the series.

Here are some of my predictions for the rest of the series:
-Perrin will at some point return with the wolves and maybe find others like him.  He will become the leader of an army of men like him and tons of wolves.

-Perrin will be the one to end up with Egwene.  When they were together, it seems that Perrin has feelings for her.  He would get jealous when she danced with that one guy and always felt awkward when looking for the right things to say.  Also, Min said that Egwene and Rand will not be together the way they want...

-Speaking of Rand, I think he will end up with Elayne.  She thought he was handsome and he thinks she is beautiful.  He will be the Dragon Reborn and she will be his queen.  Maybe he will destroy the world, but I think he will end up helping to rid the taint of the Dark One.

-The next question is who is Rand's father?  I am sure that his mother was his actual mother, but her father was someone extremely important.  Maybe a king, I am guessing he was one of those Anielman (was that the name?).  Lan must have been a body guard or maybe a Warder.

-Will Moraine be a good witch or a bad witch?  I have no clue.  Will she try to stop Rand (I think the term is gentle him) or does she want the Dragon Reborn to become powerful?  Maybe she believes the world needs men Aes Sedai...

TV Stuff

Oh Emma Bell, you will be missed...or you will be the hottest zombie in the area.

The Walking Dead
I have a feeling people are going to start grumbling about how slow the show is moving.  A zombie show cannot be fast-paced.  A zombie movie focuses more on the fear and the chasing.  This show needs to explore the relationships between people and how life would change in a situation like this.  As I said before, if characters are killed too early and too often, their deaths will be meaningless.  On a side note, Kirkman does a great job of exploring this idea in the comic:  watching children grow up around death and how it seems to mean nothing to them after awhile.

In the latest episode we get a nice little moment between Amy and Andrea at the beginning (every time they focus on the lake, I think a zombie is going to attack someone from under the water).  In the comic, I never got the idea they were 12 years apart, but this works so much better in the show.  At the end of the episode, the zombies attack the camp and Amy is bitten (bit?) and soon after dies.  I kept expecting her to come back while Andrea was hugging her.  Unfortunately for Amy though, her death was not all that meaningful.  We just did not get a chance to really like her.

I do not remember if the Mexican storyline was ever part of the comics.  If not, it was definitely cool.  I loved how once the grandmother came down the steps, they all dropped the act of being tough gangsters.  I also loved how Rick gave them some guns to help protect the old people.  It was definitely a cool moment.

Boardwalk Empire
Is Chalky one of the scariest men on TV?  First he tortures a KKK leader by first telling a wonderful story and then cutting off a finger.  Next he chokes an Italian guy to death because he was involved in his friend's lynching...

Speaking of great deaths, what about Jimmy shooting the other Italian guy?  "Oh what, you gonna shoot me for running my mouth?"  Jimmy:  "I wasn't going to, but now I am thinking about it."  Then BAM, he shoots the guy in the head.

The only complaint about this show would be how obvious they like to make the symbolism.  Did we really need that final shot of Margaret looking at herself in the mirror, after Nelson asks if she recognizes herself anymore?

Steelers vs. Raiders

Remember how Lindsey bought Pens tickets for my birthday?  Well, her birthday was the 15th of November and to celebrate, I took her to the Steelers/Raiders game this weekend.  It was an awesome game, especially since the Steelers destroyed the Raiders 35-3.  If you want a nice little recap of the game, go to Sean's site.  Instead, I will give you a bit about the experience.

We left the apartment around 8:30 a.m. and made it to Pittsburgh in great time.  Unfortunately, I am an idiot and did not grab beer the night before.  I kept thinking that any of the bars on the way down would be open.  Apparently, only Champs in State College opens early on a Sunday.  Luckily, Lindsey had some beers.  Another thing I never think about when going to a sporting event is parking.  I assumed parking would be the same as a Pirate game, obviously I am retarded.  Remember, this was my first regular season Steelers game and the first time I ever drove down to a game.

I found a garage and the guy taking the money ($40!) asks what kind of car I have and then says "I got a great spot for you."  What the hell does that mean?  We drive by at least 15 empty spots and he guides me between two giant pillars and has me parallel park.  I guess he figured there would be a ton of cars clamoring for a garage up past PNC Park.

We meet up with Lindsey's sister (Kayla) and her boyfriend (Adam--an Oakland fan).  We drink a few beers and then head off to find our company's tailgate.  It took us forever to find the damn thing.  No one seemed to be able to give us any kind of directions.  I wish we would have found it earlier though, they had great food and plenty of free beer.

We head to the stadium and find out seats, which were pretty fantastic.  Did you know that Penguins players can get Steelers tickets for friends and family?  That is how we got the tickets and they were quite reasonably priced. 

The nice thing about watching the Raiders get crushed was that they had to punt many times.  Why would this matter?  Well, their long snapper is Jon Condo, who went to my high school and graduated a year after me.  Check this post out it you would like to see Jon.

In fact, since my phone is sooooo fantastic for taking pictures, I took one of Jon snapping the ball.  Hope you can see him, he is #59.  Seem him there?  Yeah, me neither.  Sorry.

After the game, we went to the car.  And as I expected, the garage was still pretty empty except for my car being wedged between two pillars.  Glad they saved those other spots for all the other large cars that might need them.

I also made the mistake of listening to Lindsey on the way home.  She said she wanted to stop at the Waterfront to see a friend.  I was going to just hop back on 279 and head north.  Either go up to 79 and take 80 across and maybe stop off at my mom's house. 

Traffic was ridiculous and we sat there for over an hour.  Then we decided to go another way:  28 North to Kittaning (or is it spelled Kittanning?  Too lazy to look it up), which then takes you to 422, which goes to Ebensburg.  In case you did not know this, Ebensburg is the nexus of all highways:  219, 22, 422, close to I-99...

We left the game at 4:55 and made it home at 8:58 (we stopped to eat for like twenty-five minutes).  Aside from the horrible traffic, the entire day was awesome and I cannot wait to go to another game.  I want to take her to a Penn State game next year.  Actually, it does not even matter if we go to a game, I want to take her tailgating. 

Fat Albert

Plenty of funny stuff from Carl this week.  I will be at the Steelers/Raiders game with Lindsey.  Hope everyone enjoys the game...

Crazy Chick

This week's GOTW is Jenny McCarthy.  Remember when she was really hot and just had stupid shows where she tried to push the boundaries of humor/sex symbols?  Now she is just a crazy lady spouting off about how vaccines cause autism.

I understand that she is upset that her kid has autism, but to go out of your way to cling to some outdated research, that has never been proven (and has mostly been proven false) is just pretty sad.  I mean, there are plenty of stupid people out there who will hear her saying these things and go "oh, I better not get my kid vaccinated" because a celebrity probably knows more than your doctor.

I also love listening to these commercials from famous athletes about the odds of them doing something in that sport, but then it ends with the odds of them having a kid with autism is 1:100.  Again, this is sad and I realize this, but screw you people.  If you want more research into autism that is fine, but Jenny needs to realize that while she is wasting scientists time and resources with this whole vaccine problem, scientists are not able to focus on the real problem:  Why are there more cases of autism? 

So Jenny, please keep your damn mouth shut and just take of your clothes.  That is what you are good at.

Neil Young and the Boss

I know that everyone loved the Jimmy Fallon as Neil Young version of Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire, well here is a new one...

Previously on Sons of Anarchy

I know most of you are dying to know what I have thought about the last few weeks of Sons of Anarchy.  The season has been mostly awesome, minus a few parts.  Everything about the group being in Ireland has been cool, most of the stuff dealing with Tara sucks.

Remember how I said that Jax almost had sex with his half Irish sister?  Well they came ever closer, luckily Maureen and Gemma walked in on them.  Gemma then delivered the great line of "unless we want a three headed grandchild, we better share some family history."  Jax seemed to take it well.  In fact, last night Trinity says that she is embarrassed because she almost shagged her brother and Jax responds with "and you say that like it's a bad thing."  What?  Is Jax more turned on now that he knows Trinity is his sister?  Weird.

Yet again, Jax will stray from his father's manuscript.  He had that moment where he thought maybe this lifestyle was wrong, but then the gay family that adopted Abel ends up dead and Jax comes back to reality.  Jax and Clay will have their confrontation, but it is not time yet.

I thought she was hotter on Mad Men...

Back in Charming, Tig and Lem (I cannot remember his name, so I will call him Lem because that was his character on The Shield) continue their pissing match and act like the village idiots when it comes to running the MC.  Lumpy:  dead.  Tara:  missing.  Alvarez:  almost breaks the truce.  Christ, Clay is going to be pissed when he gets home.

Speaking of idiot Tara...she has been a worthless story all season.  Whining and crying about Jax.  Debating about an abortion.  I knew she would not get one, that would have been something interesting for Jax to deal with.  Instead she is kidnapped by Salazar and now that Jax is home, he will have to deal with him.

Judging from the previews, it sounds like Clay is going to find out that Jax made a deal with Stahl.  I do not understand why the deal was a bad thing?  She gets Jimmy and Gemma stays out of jail, as does the club.  Yeah, that would be terrible.  I guess it would mean that Jax would be putting the kibosh on Clay's new IRA gun running operation. 

I am guessing that Jax will have to intercept Jimmy before he makes it to the Russians.  Then, instead of killing him, he will give him to Stahl, but he will tell the rest of the club that he is going to kill him, but he wants to do it alone.  Unfortunately, Gemma will do something stupid, like pull a gun on Stahl (saw that in the previews) and probably end up going to jail anyways.  Jimmy will claim that SAMCRO is the actual mastermind behind everything and the whole thing will backfire.  Okay, probably not.

I would like to see Jax arrive to save Tara too late.  Salazar just killed her and Jax kills Salazar.  It will be a moment where Jax will either realize that his father was right or that he cannot be saved and his life is too wrapped up in violence...

College Football Conundrum

Last week I was listening to Cory Giger and he was talking about the whole Cam Newton situation (for those of you who live on the Moon, Newton is being investigated for asking for money to go to Auburn, or his family did, whatever).  I think most people would agree that there is a major problem in college football (basketball as well) with players taking money from boosters.  The real question is how do you stop it?  There were plenty of ideas tossed around, which I will discuss briefly.  There was one that really intrigued me, but I will get to that at the end.

Banned For Life
One idea is that if a player is caught they should be banned from football for life.  This idea sounds pretty good in practice, but how long would the NFL agree to something like that.  Yeah, they might use it to make an example of some lesser known player, but what would have happened if two years after Adrian Peterson got drafted if it came out that he accepted money?  Would they really ban him for life?  I bet the Vikings would be pissed.  Also, the NFL and NCAA are not really connected, why would the NFL care about these kind of things.

Jail
Giger thinks that if a player is caught, they should be tossed in jail.  He says it is fraud.  I am not sure if this is fraud, but instead something else.  I am sure Jason could weigh in on this one. 

Steeper University Punishment
One caller suggested that if a player is caught, then the university should lose football forever.  I think this one is a bit extreme, but maybe you could punish them for a year without football.  Unfortunately, this could easily be exploited.  Ohio State is going to have a super team next year?  Someone could pretend to be a booster from the school and give a player a nice new car.  BAM, no more Ohio State!  Go PSU!!!  Yeah, might not work out so well.  Oh, and do not be so naive as to think it would be all that hard to fake being a booster from another university.

Minor League Football
This was the caller that really intrigued me.  I realize this idea is pretty out there.  He pointed out that college football has become just a stepping stone for the NFL.  Instead of the players making any money though, the universities profit.  His idea was for the NFL to set up a minor league system like baseball.  I want to talk about this one for a bit.

There are about 120 FBS (Division 1A) schools out there.  You could probably cut that in half (yeah some people would probably cry, but boo freakin' hoo) and give each NFL team two minor league programs.  Break them down to lower and upper (AA/AAA).  Try to base the minor league teams close to their parent team.  For this I will use Penn State and the Steelers.  Also, if you are an east coast team, you should have a minor league program out west.  Therefore the Steelers would have PSU as their AAA team and say someone like Oregon State.  Whatever.

The big problem would be convincing the NCAA to give up control over their cash cow.  The NFL would have to make a substantial offer.  It would need to be something ridiculous, like $20,000,000,000.  I am pretty sure the NFL has that kind of cash lying around, right?  Look, ignore the numbers for a second.

The NFL would have to make a stipulation in every contract saying that players would have to pay the university (in this case Penn State) a 10% fee every year.  If a player signs a megacontract in a few years for $120 million, guess what?  The university gets $12 million of that.  If the basic minor league contract is $75,000:  the university gets $7500, which could be put to lowering tuition for actual students.  This means the player is contractually tied to the university throughout his career.  If he gets traded or signs elsewhere, it does not matter, he still pays the original university.

I know someone is going to say, well what if they want to get an education, that is what college football is really about.  Yeah, I am sure that Cam Newton has a tough workload.  Two gym classes and a basic math class.  Real freakin' hard.  I realize many players take full advantage of their education, but many do not.  Why waste the time and resources?

Also, if once their football career is over and they decide to go back to school, the university gives them a free education (since they probably paid a ton of money during that time back to the school).  I bet a 33 year old washed up linebacker would apply himself more than some 18 year old who knows he is going to the NFL someday.

I also realize that many people would say that if you are not a Steeler fan, why would you want to root for Penn State.  Look, anyone that goes to the school would still want to be a fan.  And, have you ever been to a minor league baseball game?  When the Spikes were part of the Cardinals organization, people who were Pirates fans still rooted for the Spikes.  It is a local thing.

What about those schools that lose out?  Well you give them a nice payoff and shut them up.  The schools can still have club football.  Just no longer going out and recruiting or trying to spend tons of money to build a football program.  Also, since the games are still played on campus, all the money that comes from Beaver Stadium would still go to the university.  Also, students still get discounted tickets.

The next question is, how would this work during the actual season?  You implement NFL rules (no more one foot in for possession or automatically down if you touch the ground), you break them down into conferences and divisions similar to the NFL.  You try your best to keep rivalries intact:  Michigan plays Ohio State every year, etc. 

Once the playoffs end, the championship game for AAA would be held the weekend before the Super Bowl (I think they had the Pro Bowl there this year, get rid of the Pro Bowl).  Also, you might as well make the Super Bowl on a Saturday because no one likes going to work hungover. 

I realize there are plenty of problems with this idea, but it is fun to think about.

Apartment Decorations

Before the Penn State/Ohio State game, I went to Target to buy some frames for the posters I ordered so that I could finally decorate the living room.  Allow me to give you a quick tour of what the place looks like.

On the left is a skyline picture of Pittsburgh and below that is Brent Johnson's goalie stick, signed by the entire team.  That was a gift to Lindsey, you remember the relationship, right?

This was actually Adam's idea, to put the skyline like that and then angle the stick below it.  I definitely like the way it looks.  On a side note, those skyline pictures with a frame are pretty damn expensive.

Here is a closeup of the stick.  You can Sid's autograph, as well as Lindsey's Family Lounge pass when she went to a Capital's game when Brent played for them.

As you come through the front door, above the the light switch is a picture I received from Dick's Sporting Goods for free.  It is of the inaugural game against the Flyers (which we attended).  In the lower left corner is my ticket from the game.

To the right of the Steelers poster is a Pirates poster.  My original goal was to get all three team logo posters, but I could not find one for the Pens.  I guess Sid and Malkin is just as cool.  Originally I was going to have all three on the main wall behind the TV.  Unfortunately, that would not work with 45 foot DVD rack.

So what do you think?  We plan on putting more Pittsburgh sports stuff around the living room, but as of now, it is a great start. 

In case you were wondering, I ordered the skyline picture from Citiscapes.  I just want to let everyone know that if you ever thought about getting something like this for your own place, you should definitely get it from here.  It was about $40 cheaper than anywhere else, plus the frame is quite heavy duty.

Dear Justified...

I want to see this story incorporated into an episode of the excellent show Justified.  I want to see Timothy Olyphant force a guy to eat his beard.  The best thing about this video (aside from hillbillies):  it all started after the guy wanted to buy a $20 lawnmower for $250.  Why did the moron even mention what he paid for it?  He should have taken the money and then kept his beard.  It is sad that these people get to vote.

A Ridiculous GOTW

This will be the most convoluted GOTW ever.  I was watching Seinfeld last night and it was the episode where George buys Elaine a cashmere sweater for getting him a job.  The sweater was discounted because of a small red dot (this was also the classic Hennigan Scotch episode...)  It got me thinking about how much I hate winter, but that I do enjoy seeing girls in sweaters (for obvious reasons).  Here are some pictures of girls wearing cashmere sweaters...

This then got me thinking about if there were any hot girls from Kashmir, which forced me to start looking at pictures of Bipasha Basu, who is a Bollywood actress.  Damn, she is really hot.  I may have to start watching some of these movies.  Probably not, but it is nice to pretend.

While looking at her pictures, I started thinking about the Led Zeppelin song.  It got stuck in my head and I wondered if there were any hot hippy chicks out there.  And guess what I found?  A picture of Bar Refaeli and it said she is a hippy chick.

Damn, I forgot how hot she is...and she has never been the GOTW.  So umm, I guess this week's GOTW is all of these lovely ladies.  And my insane logic.

The Coyote Experience

The other night while driving home from work, I saw something I have never seen in the wild:  a coyote.  I came close once while hunting, there were some coyotes near a tree I was sitting in, but it was too dark to see, I could just hear them moving around and making sounds.  Also, one time when I got a flat tire and had to walk a few miles to get to a phone, I could hear one in the woods and I could see the outline at times, but I was not 100% sure if it was a coyote or just a dog. 

Fortunately, I got a very good look this time.  On my way home, I always slow down at this one section right before my road because I always see deer on the road.  This time though, I saw what looked like a big dog run across the road.  I slowed way down and it was standing broad side about 15 feet off the road.  I stopped and got a nice long look at it.  Definitely a coyote.

Just a few minutes ago, I took out some trash to the dumpster and I could hear one howling and barking (more like a yip, but whatever).  I listened for a good five minutes and figured it must be out in that field where I saw it the other day.  Pretty cool.  And no, this is not another fake story, like the bear attack...

Maybe next week I will see one of the Phoenix Coyotes...

Getting Fired Carl Style

A Barcelona Dragon reference...who would have thought it possible.

Easy To Assemble My Ass!

The other day I bought a new DVD rack and a TV stand from Best Buy.  After work yesterday, I decided to put them together.  On both boxes it says "easy to assemble" for both items.  If you had to guess, which one would you think would be more difficult?  I figured the TV stand since it weighs more and the three shelves are tempered glass.  Also, the other parts are all metal.  Boy was I wrong!

The DVD stand was such a pain in the ass.  It took me about two hours to put together.  The instructions say that it only requires a screwdriver.  Bullshit!  A drill is definitely required.  Once the damn thing is upright, you have to put the back on and it says to screw them in.  There are no holes, plus you have to try and hold it up the entire time.  I tried to lay it down, but I did not trust those tiny cam screws that hold the two sections together.

In case you were wondering, the thing is huge.  It is six feet high and over three feet wide.  And yes, now that all of Lindsey's and my DVDs are in there, it is almost full (close to 350 total movies).

Before I discuss the TV stand, I want to comment on Lindsey's movie collection.  She has every season of Dawson's Creek.  A bunch of chick flicks and then some random ones in there:  Running Scared and V for Vendetta.  I just find it very odd.

Anyways, after the DVD rack fiasco, I was quite nervous to put the TV stand together.  I figured it might take me all night.  Nope, it took a half hour.  It is quite heavy, but guess what?  It slides across the carpet pretty easily.  I set it all up tonight and I am quite happy with it.  We now need a coffee table.

Once all the posters I ordered get here, I will hang them and take some pictures to show everyone how awesome the place looks.

Henry Rollins vs. Glenn Danzig

Last night I had a very weird series of dreams.  The first one involved me finding out that The Misfits would be playing a concert in State College today.  I skipped work and went there and was like the only person at the show.  I woke up mumbling to Lindsey something about going to see Danzig.

The second dream is a bit stranger.  It was like an episode of Always Sunny and The League combined.  I am guessing since the last episode of Always Sunny had the gang trying to get another member, that is where this came from.  Henry Rollins and Glenn Danzig were competing to be in the gang and the loser of the competition had to be Andre's new best friend.

It was actually funny because Andre kept trying to get Danzig to do the things the group made Andre do, but everyone else just kept making fun of Andre.  I also think at some point Charlie tried to fight Henry Rollins.

On a side note, can you imagine if they would have cast Danzig as Wolverine?  That would have been a completely different movie...

Also, who would win in a fight between them?  I do not mean back in the day, I mean right now.    They are both getting up there in age, and they both still scare the shit out of me.

This Week in TV

The Walking Dead

This week introduced to more of the regular characters, including one of my favorites:  Glen.  I was also worried at first that T-Dogg was going to be Tyreese (in the comic Tyreese is a huge ex-NFL linebacker).  It would have been upsetting to see redneck Michael Rooker beat the crap out of a linebacker.  Personally, I think AMC should reach out to Shawne Merriman.  His football career is about over, he would be perfect...

I also love that they are not trying to make each episode super scary, and over the top.  Go slow, pace it out.  Get to know the characters.  This is something that a show like this has over a typical zombie movie.  The characters can grow and we can really get to know them and like them before they are eaten.  It will make every death mean something.

Boardwalk Empire
When Nucky's brother, Eli, gets shot.  It really upset me.  I like Eli.  He makes me laugh and makes me sad.  I felt bad for him during his speech in a previous episode.  I want to see him succeed, but it looks like that will not happen.

Anyways, it seems that Jimmy will be coming back to New Jersey.  And I bet he brings ol "Phantom of the Opera Sniper" with him.  Also, did Jimmy have his mom sleep with Lucky Luciano in order to get information on him (and Lucky was banging her for the same reason, except that he thought she was Jimmy's wife)?  What a messed up family.

Did anyone else enjoy watching Arnold Rothstein practice what he would say about the Black Sox Scandal?  Apparently that was almost verbatim to his testimony to the Grand Jury.  Pretty cool.

Detroit Lion Time

"The pride is back in the Motorcity baby!"--Great line.

GOTW

Next week is Veteran's Day and I thought to myself, "how can I incorporate hot girls with honoring our nations veterans?"  Then it hit me:  ASIAN HOOKERS!  Thank you for serving your country and I hope you never get any venereal diseases while overseas.

A Second Video!

I saw this video over at filmdrunk the other day.  I saw it before somewhere and both sites make fun of Jake Lloyd for coming off as awkward.  To me, he seems more annoyed with the interviewer than anything.  Asking if he uses his role as Anakin to get girls?  If he still has any of the merchandise?

The funny thing to me is that people would be making fun of him if he was still clinging to that aspect of his life.  If his house was packed full of little Anakin figures everywhere, he would be a bit creepy.  Instead he says that he is finishing school and wants to be a film editor.  Good for him.  I can understand why he would be hesitant to do an interview after the way everyone made fun of his acting in Episode I.



I promise this will be the last video of the day.  I may even put up a GOTW...

Don Saying What

This video is not hilarious, but it is still pretty cool.  It is Don Draper saying what.  If you watch the show, you know that is his favorite response, especially to Betty's idiotic questions.  I wonder if the character is written that way or if Jon Hamm just tosses that in there?

I Will Save the World!

I had a brilliant idea the other day.  Before I share this brilliant idea, allow me to preface this post with a quick disclaimer:  I am not a doctor, nor do I have any real knowledge about human anatomy, particularly the female reproductive organs.  With that being said, I have figured out a way to help eliminate the blood shortage problem in this country.  For those of you who gag easily, this post may not be for you.

Recently, Lindsey had her little friend over for a few days, and this is not the type of little friend who has a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, if you know what I mean.  Yes, I am referring to her period.  Anyways, without sex for a few days, the brain is able to focus on more constructive things.  I realized that it is such a waste of blood.  Why not design some kind of tampon that saves the blood and you can take it to the Red Cross and deposit it into the blood bank.

I know, I know, this is really gross, but just hear me out.  Since period blood is basically half a fetus (the unfertilized egg, whatever), it should be teeming with stem cells.  I would imagine that if you get a transfusion from period blood, it would heal you almost instantaneously.  I am sure there is some kind of science out there that backs me up.

As you can see from this photo, your old fashioned tampon is inserted into the vagina and then it does some stuff and a string hangs out.  I guess it just absorbs the blood.  I have no clue, I usually walk away when a girl tries to tell me about stuff like this.

Imagine the same basic concept, but more of a plastic tube, something like a test tube.  It would have some tabs that go in first and when the girl removes it, the tabs automatically close. 

I will leave it to the engineers and doctors to work on the details.  I am no medical expert, but this sounds like a pretty sound idea.  I do not even want money or anything, just the feeling I will get knowing that my idea is saving lives.

Here is a rough sketch of what my new and improved, life saving tampon would look like.

I expect a call from the Nobel people any day now...