I really wish FX would just play episodes of their great shows all day long. I would probably never get anything done. Imagine if all day you could watch reruns of The Shield, Justified, Sons of Anarchy, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Archer, The League, Louie, Wilfred...hell, I will include the shows I never watched: Rescue Me, Nip/Tuck, Damages...and any others I forgot.
Rip Riley comes to take him back to ISIS and that is when craziness ensues. He crashes Rip's seaplane after making a bunch of jokes about him being old and the plane fitting his motif. Then he makes a great joke about Rip's emergency beacon being invented by Guglielmo Marconi, the guy who invented the radio. What other show would toss that reference out there?
They then get rescued by pirates, which Archer makes a great joke about not thinking they existed anymore (also, people in Pittsburgh probably wonder the same thing at this point in the season). He then kills ten pirates and becomes the new captain, after making a joke that his five year old self would have gotten a boner after hearing that he just killed ten pirates.
Seriously, I laughed the entire episode.
-Charlie and Frank always boil the denim they find under the bridge
-Frank wants to marry a prostitute
-Mac comes in by saying "there is some crack whore outside blowing the kid from the restaurant down the street." Okay, I am paraphrasing what I remember.
-Dee and Charlie want a dog so it can bite people at the bar and people will have a great story to tell
-Dee and Dennis miss smoking crack
-Charlie puked blood all over Frank's sorta date. Also, Charlie brought back his Texan accent.
-Mac has diabetes (or as he calls it "diabitas") because he is fat.
-Dee wants to be more like Roxy the Whore, and finds out that she can make mad-cash doing foot shit with the guy who pretended to be Donovan McNabb (he is pretending to be Tiger Woods now). I love that they bring random characters and stories back from past seasons.
-Roxy tells Dee she has to help her dig the crack rocks out of her ass.
-Roxy dies when Frank proposes. Mostly because of the drinking and crack smoking.
-The gang decides to just put the body in the hallway and make an anonymous phone call to 911.
All of that happened in a 22-minute episode. Just insanity.
Sons of Anarchy
SAMCRO will apparently be muling coke for the cartel. Jax makes a deal with Clay: he will go along with it, if when Clay steps down, he will allow Jax to leave the club and Opie to become president.
Jax and Opie get taken prison by a bunch of Russians wanting revenge and the guns back. Unfortunately, the rest of the club cannot get there because the new sheriff is searching the chapel. Well he is actually just destroying everything to be a dick. Luckily, their new cartel friends show up to rescue Jax and Opie.
Gemma will not stop worrying about the letters from Maureen. She is now searching Tara's office to find them. She then finds a police report about JT's death. More evidence that she and Clay killed Jax's father.
The rest of the club seems pretty split over the cartel connection. Although, Jax laying all the cash on the table pretty much helped sway a few of them. Bobbie and Tig might not be on Clay's side for once.
My favorite line from the episode came from Opie when they were being help captive: "I could have stayed in bed all day with my new wife, who is a pornstar."
Such awesome shows.