Taking a Break

I am working on organizing my comics.  It is really fun!  Anyway, enjoy some Carl ranting about a week without a football...

GOTW

As I was sitting here going through all of my comics (yeah, it is a boat load of fun), I started thumbing through 100 Bullets, which is a fantastic read, and I remembered how hot Megan Dietrich was, and how much of a major bitch she could be.  She was a bit of slut, liked to play Benito and his father of each other (and I think she slept with both of them).  But, she is one of the most powerful people in the world and that makes her even hotter.  Sadly, I could not find any good pictures of her, so you will just have to buy the comics and read them yourself.

Taxes and Titans

Last night I decided to do two very torturous things to myself:  my taxes and watch Clash of the Titans.  Which should I start with, I will take the lesser of two evils:  taxes.

Taxes
Last year I used TurboTax and it was a good experience, so I figured I would use it again.  One of the things I have discovered is that it does not matter that I give money to charity or that I save my receipts for my work shoes and clothes.  None of these things make my refund any different. 

It is also so depressing to look at your gross pay and then see how much you lost in taxes.  This reminds me that I need to set up a 401K, might as well lose that money before the taxes come out.  Also, I wonder if I donate all my comics to charity, if I claim them will that affect my refund?  It would have to, right? 

I do recommend using TurboTax if you have a simple tax return and want to get it done and over with.  My return should be in my account in the next eight to fourteen days.  And I have a few plans for that money, but more on that to come later in life.

Clash of the Titans
I heard this movie was terrible, but terrible does not do it justice.  I just did not understand why the hell they felt the need to take the story of Perseus and mangle it all up.  Why was Hades trying to kill Zeus?  In the original myth, Hades helps Perseus by giving him a helmet (or was it a cloak?) that makes him invisible.

I also hated how crappy the Djinn looked.  Wait, why were they even in the movie?  Why did the scorpion scenes feel like a rip-off from Transformers?  Oh, because it was pretty much identical.  And what the hell is Hollywood's fascination with the kraken?  This was not the creature from the original myth, why would you change it?

The biggest irritation was the whole Io subplot.  Why was she even in this movie?  Io was turned in a cow after having sex with Zeus, then she went to Egypt (I cannot remember all her adventures, sue me).  Perseus is supposed to save Andromeda and then marry her.  Granted, I thought that Gemma Arterton was hotter than Alexa Davalos, but it seems like they needed to put a character in to help Perseus and did not want to use Athena (who helps Perseus in the myth).

I would try to say something good about the movie, but there was not that much.  I like Sam Worthington (he was great in Terminator Salvation) and I thought Medusa looked pretty good.  That was one scene where they bumped up the action and it actually was good.

Needless to say, I am glad I did not see this in the theater.  I would have probably got up halfway through and left. 

Since I know you are asking who the girl to the left is, I figured I would make you all work it out.  Just kidding, this is Natalia Vodianova, she played Medusa.  Not going to lie, I would stare at her until I turned into stone.

A Bunch of Football Stuff

Allow me to start out by saying how excited I am for the Steelers to be in the Super Bowl.  I also think it will be a fantastic game between them and the Packers.  Both teams are so similar, which should make it interesting.  As you know though, the next two weeks will be filled with every conceivable story about both teams.

Just Make It Stop Already

-Aaron Rodgers was Brett Favre's backup and has finally risen up and led his team to the Super Bowl.  Seriously, there will be so many stories about Brett Favre.  Hell, at some point there will be speculation about him playing next season (as James said via facebook:  "I wouldn't be surprised if he played for the Bills next season.")  We all remember how the Packers decided to ignore Favre when he wanted to return and finally allow Rodgers the chance to take the reins.  It was only like three seasons ago.

-The trials and tribulations of Ben Roethlisberger.  Did you know that he was suspended for the first four games of the season?  Everyone will tell us this, but no one will mention for what.  Actually a few will say something like "stemming from an alleged sexual assault during the summer."  I like Big Ben (as a quarterback) and I am sure that he is trying to be a good person, but I really do not care that he from the ashes and led his team to the Super Bowl.  It feels like every writer had these stories written for Michael Vick and now that he is out of the playoffs, they will just replace Vick with Big Ben and killed dogs with alleged sexual assault.

-Mike McCarthy is from Pittsburgh.  I am sure this will get mentioned a few hundred times.  Who cares?  Is McCarthy going to make bad calls because he was a Steelers fan as a kid?  Probably not.  Who will his family be rooting for?  All that kind of dumb shit will just annoy the hell out of me.

-These storied franchises.  The team of the 60s vs. the team of the 70s!  I know it is a cool thing, but seriously, every football fan already knows how they are both great franchises.  Please do not dumb down the discussion by explaining this to us.  Hell, only a few of the coaches were even alive to see those Packers teams.  Not many of the players were alive to see the Steelers teams of the 70s.  Why not just focus on the here and now?  These teams have a chance to kick off the race to see who will be the team of the 20Teens (what the hell else should we call this decade?).

-How young Mike Tomlin is.  We have a young coach, the youngest to ever lead his team to a second Super Bowl.  No shit, he was the youngest coach to win a Super Bowl.  If the Steelers go again in the next twenty of so years, he will probably still be the youngest coach to lead his team to three Super Bowls.  Why?  Most coaches are old, Tomlin is really young.  And I am sure there will be a few jokes about how he looks like Omar Epps...

My Thoughts on Jay Cutler
Most of you by now have heard about how players criticized  Jay Cutler (via Twitter) for leaving the game on Sunday.  From what I have heard, the team doctors were the ones who were not sure about the extent of the injury and decided he could not play.  What if he would have went back in and thrown a few interception because he could not plant his leg and get a solid throw?  People would have said how he was hurting his team by being in there.  What if he goes back out and gets hit and ends his career?  How many people would then be saying how silly it was for him to go back in the game?  I do think it is great that the Bears defensive players have his back and as Chris Harris said yesterday on the Jim Rome show, they know which players said what, they will be looking for them next season. 

Mark Sanchez To Lead The League in Picks


My Plans
Friday before the Super Bowl, I will be at the Pens game with Lindsey, Adam, and Lora.  We are then going out that night and then we are going to come back to Ebensburg on Saturday, then head back to Pittsburgh to watch the game in the city.  What better way to spend the Super Bowl then down in the Steel City?

My prediction for the game:  27-23 Steelers!  Oh, and if you want to see me on television, I suggest you click this link.

Batman: The Dark Knight Rises

I have had a few people ask me about this, so I figured I might as well write about it.  Remember when I wrote about the third Batman film after I saw Inception?  It appears that I was correct about Tom Hardy playing one the villain, unfortunately I got it kind of wrong.  Christopher Nolan says that Hardy will play the bad guy Bane.  In a surprise move though, Anne Hathaway has been chosen to play Catwoman.

I have no problem with the castings of either of them, yet I do have to wonder about how these two will tie into the idea of Batman rising up as the hero of Gotham.  Will Bane be written like he was in the original Knightsend story?  He was extremely strong because of the Venom drug, but he was also somewhat smart.  He wanted to weaken Batman before fighting him.  He released all the bad guys from Arkham Asylum and then when Batman was nearly exhausted he chose to fight him and break him.

I would imagine that the movie will start with Gotham being hit by some sophisticated cat burglar.  Batman will track the person down, only to realize it is a woman.  They will spar and flirt and in the end she will escape.  How does this tie into Bane though?  Will Bane come to Gotham to try and take over the gangs?  Does he want to take over the entire city?  Maybe he hires Catwoman to find out who Batman really is?

Have you seen the film Havoc?  Who knew she was such a dirty girl...

Anyways, here are some things I do not want to see in this film:

-Supernatural powers or backgrounds for Catwoman.  No cat-god powers, no nine lives, none of that nonsense.  Just make her a cat burglar who likes to dress like a cat or something.  Keep it simple.

-Bane as just some hired thug.  If the gangs hire him to kill Batman, it will be incredibly stupid.  I mean, did they forget how well it worked out using the Joker?

-Batman taking his mask off to talk Catwoman out of killing someone.  The downfall of Batman movies always seems when the actor playing Batman wants more lines or screen time.  Do you realize how often Batman takes his mask off in the comics?  Pretty much never.  Nolan has done a good job of keeping it on most of them, just do it again for one more movie.  Not even if Christian Bale starts screaming at him...

-Please Mr. Nolan, do not introduce some kind of new Bat-suit.  I am okay with a new Batmobile, maybe even splurging and seeing a Batplane, but the one thing I really hate is when they change the suit.  It just never makes sense.  Unless it serves the movie.  I mean, yes, in the last one, it made sense for Bruce to want a suit that would stop dogs and allow his head to turn.  I just do not want to see an all new design or some specialty suit, like the fire proof sonar suit.  Ugh.

I really hope they use a suit similar to this...

-The love story.  Obviously that is why Catwoman will be making her debut in this film.  However, keep it to her and Batman.  Do not bring in the idiotic Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne relationship.  In fact, make sure that Selina never knows Batman's identity.  And under no circumstances should they figure out each others secret by some stupid back and forth like "mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it...a kiss can be deadlier if you mean it."

Anyways, I am excited about the film and I completely trust Christopher Nolan.  I am sure he will make a great movie and that it will finish up his trilogy quite nicely.  And then in a few years, they can bring another director and actor in and completely screw it all up.

Thank You Jesus For This One Small Miracle!

I realize that my title may confuse some of you, since I do not believe in miracles and whatnot.  All day at work I kept worrying that Carl would pick the Steelers this week and pretty much doom them.  Fortunately he went with the NFC, which means the Steelers are in pretty good shape.  Thanks Carl!

GOTW

This week's GOTW is one of the stars of Lie to Me, no not Tim Roth, but instead Monica Raymund, who plays Torres.  I enjoy the show and I definitely enjoy checking her out.  Sadly, I cannot find any great pictures, but if you watch the show, you will see what I mean.

Comics, What Are Those?

Back in September I decided to switch from receiving single issue comics to just getting the trade paperbacks.  I did this for a variety of reasons.  The main one is that I like storing them in a book case instead of storing them in tons of boxes in a closet.  Also, when you only pick up your comics every couple months, it is hard to remember what the hell was happening.  When I picked them up on Monday there were still a good bit of single issues left since they finished up the current arc I was reading.  Here are my thoughts on some of them.

Batman:  The Return of Bruce Wayne
Allow me to recap for those of you that did not follow this whole thing.  Batman was killed by Darkseid, but it turns out that the body that Superman found was not actually Batman.  Instead he was sent back in time with no memory.  He bounces through time, leaving clues that he is alive around Wayne Manor.  Turns out that Darkseid made Batman into a weapon and when he finally comes back, he will destroy the universe (do not ask, it really makes no sense, ask DCUniverse).

Anyways, everything ends with Bruce back and he wants to take Batman international.  Set up some franchises across the world.  The only thing I can agree with is the decision to not force Dick out of his role as Batman.  I actually loved Dick as Batman.  It was nice to see an unsure Batman.  I also enjoyed his relationship with Damian as the new Robin.  And since everyone now knows that Bruce has been funding Batman for years,  I am guessing everyone will just put two and two together that they are one and the same.  I guess it is that leap of faith we have to take whenever Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent hang out.  A billionaire playboy and a mild-mannered reporter are really good friends, one from Gotham, the other from Metropolis, just like two superheroes?

Daredevil Shadowland
I started out really loving this story.  Daredevil takes over the Hand and wants to turn them into something good.  He takes over Hell's Kitchen (he uses his assassins to patrol the streets and kick HAMMER's ass when they come to shut him down) and seems to be doing good things.  I wanted to see where this was going to go.  Unfortunately, they decided to go a different route.  Turns out that there is a secret group with the secret group that needs a pure soul to kill someone in order to let the Beast in.  The Beast is some kind of evil incarnate and it causes the people of Hell's Kitchen to go crazy.

The heroes connected to DD come out and want to stop him.  They find out the only way to stop the Beast is to kill the host.  They try to fight him, but he kicks their asses.  Matt regains control for a second and decides to take his own life and everything is fine.  Then his body disappears and we see that he is alive and well.  He decides to leave the city and give up his life as Daredevil.  Apparently he cannot forgive himself for what he did.  But,  it was such a let down.  I mean, either he should have killed himself or just write the whole thing off as him being mind-controlled.  And now the Black Panther is patrolling the rooftops of Hell's Kitchen.  Oh, and why the hell did Wolverine just show up at the end for the last battle?  He is rarely a character that pops up in DD (especially over the last few years).  In fact, someone even asks why he is there.  He does not appear in enough books, they had to just toss him randomly into this story.

Supergod

This is one that would have been great to read as a collected edition (hell I might buy it someday just to reread it in one sitting).  Unfortunately, none of the single issues were very standout, yet the idea was very cool.  The idea is what if countries had an arms race trying to create a superhuman.  The different nations basically create gods and they end up destroying most of the world.  Like most Warren Ellis stories, it is definitely out there.

Ultimate Spider-Man
This one actually ended pretty well.  The story was that this new Chameleon tries to take J. Jonah Jameson and steal his identity.  Peter Parker tries to stop him and the new guy realizes Peter is Spider-Man and decides to take his identity.  This guy and his sister have the same shape-changing powers.  The story ends with the Human Torch and Iceman rescuing Peter.  Unfortunately, the bad guys know their identities.  Instead of doing something complex, they just take the two villains to SHIELD where they are locked up.  I love that Bendis uses SHIELD to aid Spider-Man.  It is kind of like whenever Spidey would be fighting someone in the regular Marvel Universe, you would ask yourself  "why don't the Avengers ever just show up and help him out?"  I also loved that at the end, JJJ realizes that Parker is Spider-Man.  I also like the JJJ thinks of Spider-Man as a hero in this universe (he realizes his during the whole Magneto world ending event, I think it was called Ultimatum or something).

Where Does This Leave Me?
 I have a few trades to read, which I might write about next week.  I have come to an interesting decision though.  I want to get rid of all my single issues.  I am going to try to find a way to sell them, I have heard of a few sites where people will buy your entire collection.  I realize I will not get anything close to what I paid for them and I am pretty much okay with that.  If I cannot find a buyer by next October, I will most likely use them for charity at work.  Maybe set up a table and sell single issues for a quarter or five for a dollar.  All the money would go to the Children's Hospital.  Anything left over, I will just donate to some library or maybe one of those charities for soldiers...

 

Monday Morning Stuff

It is Monday morning and I am awake.  I worked third shift on Saturday and accidentally slept until 4:00 p.m. on Sunday.  I ended up falling back asleep at 10:30 p.m. and waking up at 3:00 a.m. and I have been up ever since.  This means you get some kind of rambling mess today.

Football
The Steelers beat the Ravens in a game that gave me a nervous breakdown.  To be down 21-7 to the Ravens going into halftime is not a good thing.  Then the team came out in the second half and just dominated.  The defense was absolutely amazing.

I noticed that immediately after the Jets beat the Patriots, a lot of my friends started posting comments on facebook saying that the Steelers were going to the Super Bowl.  We still have a very tough game coming up next Sunday. 

It has been nice to hear the nation media folks actually saying good things about Ben.  I heard a couple different radio shows where they said he was up there with Manning and Brady as the best in the league and that he is better than those two at certain aspects.

Game of Thrones
There was a new preview for upcoming series on HBO.  Check it out.

The Game Begins

Hockey
I missed the Pens game because I was asleep, but they beat Boston.  I am getting so pumped for the Feb. 4th game versus Buffalo.  Lindsey, Adam, Lora, and I are going to have a great time.  Speaking of hockey, I hate this commercial.  Is it because I want to take a shovel to Ovechkin's face?



Links
James has a new blog.  He is a much better writer than me, yet he never posts.  Maybe he will try and change that...


The Pirates made a huge move over the weekend

The world will be ending soon, call the crazy people up and let them know.

Alright, that is about all I have for today.  I need to shower and run some errands.  Seriously, I have errands.  I am getting old.

Droid X

Friday I decided to go look at new phones, since my new for two was up.  Lindsey just got a new phone and I was starting to feel a little jealous.

I was rockin' the LG Dare, which at first seemed like a really cool phone.  It was all touch screeny and sexy like.  Then after about a month I came to a realization:  this phone blows.

When I bought it, there were supposed to be apps that would be coming out, but then that never happened (seriously, if I would check facebook online, it would say to download the app for the Dare, but then it would say not found...).  Also, I started to notice that I was not adapting to the touchscreen keyboard.  In fact, I was downright terrible with it.  Then a coworker got an iPhone and I asked if I could try to keyboard.  Guess what?  I could type on that one.  So, I reverted back to texting the old fashioned way, using the key pad.  "Hey whats up?"  Or in that language:  "4433999SPACE944287777SPACE887111".  Jesus Christ that is time consuming.  But, if I used the keyboard, it would end up looking like "heu  qwhjats uop?"

Lindsey bought the Blackberry Torch and seemed to like it, so I did a little research.  I found that the Verizon Blackberry really was not as nice as her phone.  Also, it seemed like Droid was the way to go.  Which one though?  I read a bunch of reviews, and then I remembered that Greg wrote about a Droid recently and then again here.  I went to the store with the intention of just looking (even though my mind was pretty much made up).

Needless to say, just looking did not work out so well.  I played with it for about eleven seconds and decided that I wanted the Droid X.  I have used it a good bit for the first two days (I worked third shift, what else was I supposed to do, just kidding Work Overlords if you are reading).

The big fear I had was the keyboard, but it is big enough and the letters are spaced far enough apart that it is quite smooth to use.  I also was worried that I would not really put much use to apps (I make fun of the iPhone folks all the time).  I was completely wrong about making fun of them and now see that my life is better because of apps.  I have wanted either an mp3 player or satellite radio for my car for awhile now.  Well guess what?  I can use my phone now.  I can use Pandora or listen to ESPN Radio.  Also, it doubles as a GPS (in case I ever go somewhere).

I love that there are apps for my fantasy sports through Yahoo, I have not downloaded them yet, but I hope they allow me to check my teams (I cannot imagine what else they would be for).  Instead of going through ten screens to find the Pens score, I can just hit the Pens app and I know that they beat Boston 3-2.

The best thing though?  Bubble Breaker (or whatever it is called)!  This came with my old Motorola Q and I seriously played over 10,000 games.  It actually kept track of how many games you played, when I got jumped and lost the phone it had been around 4,000 and then on the second phone I played another 6,000.  It was so much fun.

Needless to say, I am definitely diggin' the new phone.  Also, I really enjoyed this commercial when it came out (I wonder if it influenced my decision?)

Animaniacs Day Seven

Well everyone, it has been a fun journey through memory lane.  I wanted to end it all with the real reason that I started thinking about Animaniacs.  I kept saying the classic Mindy line to Lindsey "okay nice lady, I love you, buh-bye now."  And this caused me to start singing the theme song, which then made me want to do this.



Mindy and Buttons taught me so much.  Wait, what?  That is right, watch one of their adventures and what do you learn?  Well that no matter what, it will always be the guys fault.  I think an uncle once gave me that advice about relationships, just accept that it is your fault and everyone will be happier. 

Anyways, I could keep going for probably another week with Animaniacs clips, but I think this is a nice way to end it.  What are some of your favorite things from the show that I failed to mention?

Steelers vs. Ravens

I figure with everyone else in the world posting some kind of Steelers song, I would go the other route and post this one (which Sean beat me to the other day, jerk...)  Anyways, I am excited about the game today, even if I am exhausted from working midnight.  I will be more than happy to see the Steelers win, and ruin my chances of getting the Super Bowl correct.

LETS GO STEELERS!!!!

Animaniacs Day Six

I always loved the Good Idea/Bad Idea segments.  Some of them were so funny...

Carl Picks the College System

I love how he makes you think he is going to talk about the Ravens/Steelers...

GOTW Animaniacs Day Five

That's right folks, I am making the GOTW Hello Nurse!  Who else did you think it would be?  Sadly, I was hoping it would be a surprise, but James and Ryan pretty much ruined it after day two.  I do remember the days of sitting at Champs with James and saying that whenever any hot girl would walk past.

Animaniacs Day Four

Here is today's video of all the Pinky and the Brain "are you pondering..."  I think my favorite is "if we didn't have ears we would look like weasels."  I realize most of these come from their own show, which I never really enjoyed as much as when they were just a few minute skit on the Animaniacs.

Monday Funday

Lindsey and I had off Monday, and we decided that we had not been out drinking in a very long time.  We decided to go out to the YP in Ebensburg, which is not a bad bar.  The plan was to watch the Pens game and the Auburn/Oregon game.

We got there for the start of the Pens/Bruins game and ordered some beers and food.  The girl tells us that they will probably be switching to the football game, but she will keep the Pens on the TV towards the back.  These four old guys show up and set themselves up so they are facing the back TV and they are here for the football game.

When the national championship game starts, she switches the games as she said she would.  Needless to say, these guys were pretty pissed.  They were making comments about her being a bit of a retard.  It was mean, but really funny since it made no sense.  She could have made everyone happy by just letting it go.

The Pens game was hard to watch because it was so far away from us, and I got pretty into the football game.  All I know is that it was 2-0, then it was tied and then like two minutes later the Pens were losing 4-2.  Ugh.  Plus, I wanted Oregon to win. 

Other than that though, we had a great time and got pretty drunk in the process.  Don't we look so cute in our Pens jerseys?  The four older guys were pretty entertaining all night, they just kept busting on each other and making comments about Oregon's snazzy shoes.  I would join into their conversation at times, but it was just more fun to sit there and laugh at them.

The top photo was taken by the bartender with Lindsey's camera, the one to the right was taken with my phone by me.  Do we look somewhat drunk?

Animaniacs Day Three

Remember how I said that some of the humor from the show was definitely aimed at adults?  Here is one of those skits.  Apparently Minerva Mink was quite controversial, the censors did not want them to air any more of her scenes.  Watch her in action, you can definitely see that she was adult friendly, if you get my drift.  She was definitely a terrible role model for young girls.  She would use her sex appeal to get nerdy guys to do anything for her, but then she would immediately fawn over some really hot guy. 

College Football Challenge

Congratulations to Aunt Sandy for winning the pool and the gnome!  Way to go to myself for finishing in 13th place.  I did such a great job on the pre-New Year's Day games...and by great job, I mean terrible.

Animaniacs Day Two

These two videos are probably my favorite Animaniacs songs.   Wakko doing the capitols and Yakko singing the nations of the world.  I bet you could memorize the second song and use it for this fun quiz.  I realize he does not name every single country, but c'mon, it is still pretty impressive.

1000th Post

This is the 1000th post I have written.  I guess this is something of a big deal, I mean, I have kept up with it since 2006, which I never thought was possible.  It seems like just yesterday that everyone was laughing at my 100th post.  Do not fear, there will be no scary pictures of me this time.

It is funny that as I look at Google Analytics, I see that the top searches that lead to my site have been:  funny facebook notes, Josh Croyle, 2010 baseball predictions, and Kiele Sanchez.  In fact, my most popular post continues to be about Lost Episode 314.

I am shocked that no one from Sierra Leone ever stumbles upon my site.  That is where the name comes from, well from the Mende people of Sierra Leone.  I do get visitors from Albania and Jordan, who were both in my Nations of the World, I might have to write another one about visiting Egypt.

Looking back, we have had some fun times with the debates between Ryan and I.  It seems like we can never agree on anything and if someone read this that did not know us, they would assume we hated each other.  On the other side though, my Crazy Cults post helped cement my relationship with my mom's side of the family.  They have not spoken to me since then (this is a good thing, they are psychotic.)

I could probably go on and on about all the great posts, all the really stupid ones, and blah blah blah, but the real question is where will we go from here?  Who the hell knows is the real answer.  Things will continue as they have, I will post whatever I feel like.  Hopefully you will continue to enjoy over the next thousand posts.

Animaniacs Week

Sorry about the crazy temp worker, I complained to the agency and I can assure you he will not be working here at Ngewo's World ever again.  He did get something right though, I have something special planned this week.  All week I will be posting stuff about the cartoon Animaniacs. 

For some reason the show's theme has been in my head and it caused me to start looking up different videos.  I wondered if it would still be as funny to me now as it was when I was younger.  Guess what?  It is still hilarious.  In fact, the show is funnier to me now since I am older and get more of the references.  Hell, I was 13 when the show originally came out, but some of the celebrities and situations they parodied were unknown to me then.  Anyways, to kick the week off, here is the video of the opening theme.



Stay tuned everyday this week for another fun Animaniacs video...

Buncha Bullshit

tell me how fair this is?  i just found out that i did not get paid holiday pay for january 7th!  yeah, that is christmas for most of us real christians!  i am a proud ethiopian orthadox man.  i am a 47 year old temp workin at shitty blog that does nothing but post pictures of girls and random videos.  all i asked the boss was if jan 7 was going to count for a time and a half day and the bossman tells me NO!  BULLSHIT!

well jokes on him, i sat around here all day doin nothin.  i made this pretty sweet self portrait on microsoft paint.  it is damn near perfect.

well before i leave here i just wanted to let all you peoples know it was alotta fun workin here at ngewosworld.  i hope i get a chance to do it again.  the bossman is better and he should be back to work on monday.  he swears that he has all sorts of fun and exciting things in store for everyone.  i doubt it though, the dude seems like a douchebag. 

i guess ill just go back to the temp agency and wait for another job to open up.

--lance the temp

Some Weird Bald Guy Making Football Predictions

i guess this is what josh usually posts, right?  i have no clue who this guy is, i am not much of a football fan or a fan of fat, bald guys.  is this supposed to be funny?  whatever.  my work week should be over soon.

--lance the temp

GOTW

hey there ngewos world peoples, josh is feeling a little under the weather, so he called a temp agency and you guys get stuck with me for a few days.  oh by the way, i'm lance.  i get how this works, i pick a gotw, then tomorrow i put up a video.  so lets just get to it.  i choose rihanna.  i was watching the snl from halloween the other night and when she was performing her top almost came down.  it was pretty cool.  so here are some pictures of her.  enjoy.

her titties almost fell out during that episode...

Community

I just finished the first season of Community and I can definitely see why Warming Glow always hypes up the show.  It is definitely one of the better shows out there.  Joel McHale is hilarious, which is not shocking, since he is so funny on The Soup. 

I am sure most of you know the premise of the show.  Joel stars as Jeff Winger, a lawyer who must go to community college to earn his bachelor degree since he received a fake one from another country.  He gets involved with a study group of very different people.  Winger is cocky and completely above being at this school.  His main goal at the beginning of the show is to bang Brita, the hot girl who seems to be the hipster chick. 

Anyways, without giving you a bunch of bios and explaining who every character is, allow me to say that this show is almost as funny as It's Always Sunny, but it also has touching moments, plus we see the characters grow and change for the better (which is not a knock on Always Sunny, those characters seem to grow in reverse, which is hilarious).

One of the coolest things about the show is the way the characters can either work as an entire group or they can split off.  Jeff and Annie can have an adventure, Troy and Brita, Shirley and Annie...which is one of the cool things about a good group dynamic.  Troy and Abed are probably the funniest moments of the show. 

I also love how they have allow the characters to change.  I wonder if this happens during the writing or if after they film a few episodes they start to see something?  For example, at the beginning Jeff is all about Brita (there are going to be some spoilers, so you should stop reading), and then he starts dating his teacher.  Then there is the kiss with Annie and his protective side of her regarding guys.  That is why the ending of the first season is such a great moment.  The hot teacher and Brita both proclaim their love for Jeff.  He walks out of the gymnasium and runs into Annie, who decides not to go to Delaware with Vaughn.  She and Jeff kiss and the season ends.  It was such a great moment.  Mainly because Alison Brie is sooooo hot.

Ancient Aliens Again

This season of Ancient Aliens has been pretty lackluster, I mean they keep spouting off insanity, but nothing that was remarkable or really all that new from last season of from the original show that spawned this unholy series.  I keep watching though, hoping for something to make fun of and I believe this punishment has paid off.  I recorded a bunch of episodes the other day and it looks like this one is going to be all about the Greek gods and how they were aliens.

Their Stupidity

-Zeus and Poseidon both used energy weapons.  Zeus could fire lightning bolts at his enemies.  He was said to have carried a lightning bolt.  Poseidon could use his trident to start typhoons, monsoons, tsunamis, and earthquakes.

-Apollo, since he has the same name in Greek and Roman mythology, must have been an ancient alien.  He flew in a chariot of fire!  He used to go visit the Hyperboreans up north.  That is why French stone-age people put up rock formations.  They form triangles!!!  Apollo must have used them as a directional tool.

-Zeus and Odin are pretty much the same god!  Think about it.  Both have beards, both have weapons, both are sky gods.  The resemblances are uncanny.  Thor carries a hammer, and it is quite scary how close that weapon is to the lightning bolt that Zeus carries.

-Mount Olympus must have had a spaceship on top, that is where Zeus and the gods lived.  It would rumble at times and their palace could even lift off the top of the mountain.  Must be aliens.

-Zeus once banged Leda by becoming a swan, she gave birth to demigods.  These aliens were creating a super-race of humans.  Look at Herakles and Achilles, they were much better than humans.  They must have been alien-human hybrids.  You can have babies nowadays from artificial insemination, aliens did that back then to create super-soldiers.  They must have also created some half-humans too.  Genetic engineering at it's finest.  Look at Medusa, Cyclops, centaurs, or the minotaur.

-Skeletons found in the Lovelock cave were over seven feet tall and they had read hair.  The Paiute Indians claimed to have trapped them in the cave and then shot them with arrows and lit them on fire.  These giants must have been related to Goliath and since they just found pottery with the name Goliath at a Philistine site, these must have been the children of these aliens. 

-The human brain tripled in size in a very short period of time, which baffles evolutionary scientists.  This must mean that aliens took an early ape and genetically engineered them to be smarter.  That is why the aliens end up looking like us, they made us in their image.  Hell, the Bible even tells us that God made us in his image!

My Response
-Zeus was the god of thunder.  Of course his weapon would be a lightning bolt.  If you asked ancient people they would probably tell you that he was the lightning bolt.  I think Neil Gaiman does a great job of explaining this in Sandman, Morpheus is not the ruler of the dreamworld, he is just the embodiment of dream.  Just as his sister is Death.  Hell, some ancient sculptor may have decided to use his boyfriend as a model for Zeus and that is why people always get that image of Zeus standing there holding a lightning bolt. 

-If I remember correctly, Apollo in some myths pulled the sun and his sister pulled the moon.  In one myth, he let one of his kids fly his chariot and he ends up scorching the earth.  And, if he were an alien, why the hell would he need to build some stones in France to tell him how to get to Hyperborea?  He can fly hundreds of millions of miles across galaxies, yet he needs some standing stones to find his way from Greece to north of France.  Sounds stupid to me.  Also, if you have a bunch of standing stones and you connect any three of them that are not in a straight line, guess what you get?  A TRIANGLE!  Amazing.

-Guess who else were sky gods?  Yahweh, Horus, Teshub, and Anu.  They were also the leaders of their gods well minus Yahweh.  Except that Odin is quite different, he is not the god of thunder (that is Thor) and he is a little more out there than Zeus.  He takes the dead.  He is a wanderer.

-I will not dignify the whole spaceship thing.  I do not even know where ol' crazy hair got that idea.  He gave no reference, he probably just made the whole thing up.  He is insane.

-I purposely made the genetic engineering thing a little jumbled because this was how they presented their argument.  The whole segment made no sense.  Did aliens turn into swans to have sex?  Or do swans represent artificial insemination?  Most myths came about from stories being told to explain why something was the way it was.  I read somewhere that archaeologists believe that the cyclops myths come from ancient Greek farmers finding skulls of mammoths and the trunk hole would look like a giant eye socket. 

-The whole giant thing is crazy.  Have scientists actually studied these skeletons?  Does anyone know if the Goliath inscription is real?  Or was Goliath just a common Philistine name?  You can read a crazy website about how the Nephalim are real and they are coming back to kill us all if you want, it is just as crazy as I just described.

-The next part was just sloppy.  I guess you could say cranial capacity tripled in a short period of time if you just ignore a bunch of discoveries.  If you jump from Homo Habilis right to Homo Neanderthalenis then yes you can say it was almost three times in a short period 510 to 1200 cc in under 800,000 years.  That would seem like a huge jump, but during that time we have a bunch of other examples and they fit right in the middle.  How crazy is that?

I will watch a few more episodes and I am sure that I will laugh some more.  It is a shame that the History Channel no longer has anything about real history, instead just making up stuff like this or pawn shops.

New Year Resolutions

It is that time of year when everyone decides to make some kind of resolution.  Not me, I think they are stupid.  I joked with a lot of people this year that I was going to make a resolution not to kill anyone, since that had been my resolution for the past 29 years and I had a pretty good streak going.  People think I am a dick for mocking their method of changing their lives.  I also said that I was going to be less of a dick, but that lasted until about 12:06 a.m.  Oops.

This got me thinking about resolutions and the whole point of them.  The majority of you will make one to lose weight this year.  I remember when I was at PSU, this time of the year people would flock to the White Building to lose those extra pounds.  The first week of school there would be a line out the door at almost all times during the day.  Then, two weeks later, they would all be gone.

If you decide that losing weight is your resolution, do not be stupid.  Set an achievable goal.  Saying you want to lose thirty pounds sounds like a good idea, but can you actually do it?  If you want to lose the weight, start with something like "I want to lose two pounds a month."  Keep track of it...sorry, I am going off on a tangent here.

People should not need to make a resolution to be a better person.  If you think making a promise to yourself after a few shots and some champagne, then maybe you should wish to be less of a retard while you are at it.  Damn, I guess that not being a dick resolution is officially over.